Terrible Garbage

Rating: 1/10 (2 May 2007)

I've walked out on three movies in my lifetime. Well, I guess I've walked out of two of my own volition...well, technically speaking, I've walked out of all the movies I've seen in theaters, but I've walked out of three movies in the middle of the film...and not returned. I guess I walk out of movies frequently to relieve myself, but then return to view the remainder of the film.
As I was saying, I've walked out of three movies, two of my own volition. One was Mrs. Doubtfire, and I was forced to leave that film, because I was attending the film with some friends from my Southern Baptist church, and their father. The father took offense to the presence of a homosexual character in the film. He stormed to the ticket counter, demanding a refund, while his sons and I milled around the lobby, embarrassed, looking at our shoes. The other two films were Son of Sam, and Garden State.
I couldn't stomach all the sexuality of Son of Sam - the anal sex, gay prostitution, oral sex after anal sex - it was just too much, so I left. Garden State reduced me to a demographic, and I am not a demographic, I am a bright, shining, unique hipster! It was hipster-sploitation at its grossest and most demeaning. I left and rented Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Then I listened to Modest Mouse.