ooh, I went to film school (spoilers)

Rating: 1/10 (7 February 2005)

This movie made me want to hit myself in the face. My fiancée and I watched it together and though I was itching to turn it off, he chose to watch through to the end so that we could see if the protagonist died in a fiery plane crash, not that that would have been all that satisfying because it would have just been another stereotypical ending, though not as stereotypical as the one he chose. The movie is slow, boring, trite, and irritating as all-get-out. I don't know why everyone is comparing it to the Graduate except that it copies some of its scenes such as the escalator and the funeral. The best part of the movie, and one of the infinitesimally few funny parts, was his shirt blending into the wall, and that lasted all of a few seconds and was included in the commercial. People are making a big deal about Natalie Portman being charismatic in this movie--she isn't. Her character is one of the dumbest, least desirable and most obnoxious I've seen. Watching her was like listening to a tape of children's programming, without as much coherence or originality. I hated her character way more than Braff's but hated Braff for creating her in the first place. Basically, both I and my fiancée felt that this was an extremely highschoolesque production, created by an immature mind eager to show the world that he went to film school and remembers the common devices. If Zach Braff had not become popular through Scrubs, I doubt this movie would ever have been made, nor should it have been. I rented this with a coupon for a mere 99 cents, and I want my dollar and my two hours back.