I can't believe this is in the top 250

Rating: 4/10 (26 January 2005)

This film is so overrated, and I'm in my twenties so it isn't an age thing. Here's my review of it. I give it *1/2 out of **** or 4/10.
Amidst a series of outlandish characters, maudlin romance and a barrage of contemporary, suburban broken-heart songs sung by grown men that sound like babies, a few moments of clever cynicism and wit make Garden State slightly easier to endure. Copious reviews from twenty-something film critics on the internet call Garden State inspirational, funny, well written, romantic and even one of the best films of the year, and a troop of cranky older critics also acquiesce to its success, though not as fervently. Of course, a thrust of this acclaim is probably due to the rush of orgasmic pleasure most young men receive while observing Natalie Portman act unbearably, sickeningly cute. And it only follows, logically, that they may have identified themselves with Zach Braff's character -and his complete lack of personality- as a poster for drab slacks, sweatshirts and tennis shoes. You're suckers I say!
Aside from the fact that I am a cynical old codger, Garden State is not a special motion picture. Its premise- in which a young man returns to his hometown and reunites with his former buddies, and ultimately finds love- is not new. The relationship between Portman and Brahf seems forced, and the build-up (leading them to tearful love in just four days) is not convincing; perhaps this is why Portman's performance is so childishly exuberant and adorable- she is trying to make up for the rash bond of the screenplay, or it could very well be that most people fall in love this easily, in which case physical appearance and happenstance are the main criteria. Slowly, Garden State descends into a whirlpool of sappy troubadourian courtship; however the courtship is frenetic, and the final scene like caramel stuck on teeth.
Most irksome is the awkward creation of zany characters. They exist solely to convince the viewer that Garden State has a quirky distinctiveness, and they crop up everywhere, nearly every scene. If a middle aged mother having sex with her twenty something son's peers and smoking the bong, a retarded television quarterback, a grown adopted black man into a single-parent white family, and a girl who buries countless dead hamsters sound funny or 'fresh,' then Garden State might work for you. I, however, am getting tired of these outlandish "odd-ball" characters that are, just there; the same tactic Napoleon Dynamite attempted to mask as comedy. I am not saying strange characters detract from a film, but the approach is all wrong, and it's obvious they have been inserted here to feign originality. Ghost World would be an example of a film that does the zany character thing better.
If this isn't all bad enough, there are a few lines of juvenile philosophy parading as disquisitions of hardened experience that can't help but instigate a regretful roll of the eyes.
The positives: It moves fast enough, has a few moments of humor and and it moves fast.