Uneven, Inactive, Dishonest, and Disingenuous

Rating: 1/10 (26 August 2004)

I'll throw in this disclaimer up front, so it's out of the way; I found Garden State so boring that I walked out on it after about an hour. That said, I haven't seen the ending so I can't comment on the film in its entirety.
I would ask how it ended, but I don't really know when it began. I have never found a film and its characters to be so inactive and uninteresting. All they did was talk. Talk talk talk. I knew it wasn't going anywhere when a scene between Braff and his father that starts with the elder Largeman appearing behind the fridge door, showed the two characters talking about having yet another talk later on in the film. Since I haven't seen the end, I wonder if anyone ever does anything? Actually, I don't wonder because I was never given any reason to care.
I found Braff's script completely uneven. He is constantly trying to quirk out a serious film by throwing extremely farcical and lame sight gags on the screen; the seeing-eye dog humping leg scene for example, being of the lamest. Equally as cringe-worthy was the Clapper bit, as Sam's "racially-mixed for comedy's sake" family applauds her figure skating video.
What year is it? 2004? The Clapper's been out for so long now that just about every hack stand-up comic across the country has made a joke about it.
Sorry Zach, gotta update the material a bit. What's next, an Edsel reference?
I also thought it was incredibly dishonest. I grew up in Jersey, and know no part of Jersey where there isn't a hint of a Jersey accent. You can't throw a few gaudy gold chains, Production Designer, on Peter Sarsgaard and convince me he's from North Jersey. He felt completely out of place. For an accurate portrayal of Jersey, watch the Sopranos. That's what Jersey looks like. And grave-robbing in broad daylight, taking your sweet-ass time with it? "Look at me- I'm in a movie!"
It's clear that Harold and Maude was an influence here. Unfortunately, instead of reinventing a cult classic, Braff merely regurgitates, horribly, its quirk and tone. Had he had the courage to cast someone else in the lead role, he might have had time direct his actors so that they could have had some struggles to portray instead of just lines to memorize.
This was no Lost in Translation, as it's been compared to, and it is certainly no Harold and Maude.