Very long and oh so boring

Rating: 3/10 (25 January 2005)

7.3/10? An epic? A masterpiece? I must have seen a different a movie. Now, I might be some uncouth lout who seems to watch nothing but action and horror movies, but I also enjoy studying history, and so when I was told that I would enjoy this because it is some 'historical epic' that starts off with a bloody battle, I just could not resist. I got screwed over. 'Gangs of New York' ended up being one of the most boring movies I've ever seen.
I wish could discern a story in this. I really do. I am interested in studying history, but I know nothing of American history. Apparently in the 1860s, certain sections New York were run by criminal gangs. I can only assume that not much has changed, thanks to much more entertaining movies like 'Escape From New York' and a little known Italian movie called '1990: The Bronx Warriors'. Against a backdrop of gang-warfare and the American civil war, Leonardo DiCaprio does what he does worst: acting. For two and a half hours, apparently seeking vengeance against Bill the Butcher (Daniel Day Lewis), the man who murdered his father, with Cameron Diaz thrown in for eye-candy.
Why does this need to go for over two and a half hours? Why bother with dragging something out with all sorts of themes and historical backdrops when you can have a simple 90 minute story of vengeance. That would suit me fine considering that '90 minute revenge story' could describe any number of old kung-fu movies from Hong Kong, all of which are more entertaining than 'Gangs of New York'.
More importantly, why Leonardo DiCaprio? Out of all the movies he has done, this one suits him the least. At least his fake Irish accent is funny. Cameron Diaz also fakes an Irish accent, and hilarity ensues. Her character seemed totally useless, except to attract more of a male audience, because we all know the action in this couldn't possibly do that alone. Daniel Day-Lewis is pretty good. In fact, he spends the whole movie wearing a top-hat, much like my hero Slash. If Slash had appeared in this, 'Gangs of New York' would have been a much better movie. Starring Slash, and directed by Sam Raimi. I can imagine the awesomeness now.
I swear, Martin Scorsese must have convinced all the real movie-critics that he is some sort of infallible movie-God, but he can't fool me. Welcome to my world, Mr. Scorsese, the world of awesome. A world where your classic movies stand on the same level as the awesome-movies I generally enjoy, and where 'Gangs of New York' is a movie equal to 'Batman & Robin', only less entertaining.
'Gangs of New York' is long and boring, with no redeeming qualities at all. It may be enjoyed by film-students or unquestioning fans of Scorsese, but not me. Call me low-brow, but I know what I like, and this ain't it - 3/10