Three Hours of Savage Butchery...(possible spoilers)

Rating: Null/10 (7 January 2003)

...and that was just Scorsese's directorial and editing choices. Probably one of the Top 5 Most Overrated Films of All Time. The film was choppy in any number of places and the feel of it changed throughout. The opening sequence, for instance, I thought I walked into the wrong theater. I had the odd feeling that I was watching `The City of Lost Children.' And every time there was an overhead view of the city or the Five Points neighborhood, it reminded me of the cheesy models used on Mr. Roger's Neighborhood.
(Throughout this film, I couldn't shake the image of Mandy Patinkin's character in "The Princess Bride," Inigo Montoya, running around trying to avenge his father's death.)
One scene where DiCaprio and Diaz (yes, Cameron Diaz!) are walking and talking, there are so many POV cuts that it made my head hurt. Scorsese might as well have turned on a strobe light. It had the feel of a freshman communication student's first stab at a film.
Another instance was a scene in which P.T. Barnum's circus building was burning down and he sped up the action resulting in a look and feel only a fan of The Keystone Kops would enjoy.
And another glaringly bad choice was a mind-numbingly long sequence where all of the gangs, police, firemen and Union troops riot throughout the city. In order to convey to the audience how widespread the rioting was, Scorsese shot a quick scene of a telegraph machine spewing out its ticker tape and then ran a voiceover of what was being communicated as we see scene after bloody scene of mayhem. Except the actor who narrated the action sounded like the guy on M*A*S*H who did the P.A. announcements doing the play-by-play of a high school football game.
Another (good God, there's another one) sequence where DiCaprio and his gang realize the Irish vastly outnumber Day-Lewis' gang and his sphere of influence, so they put an Irishman up for election as sheriff. DiCaprio and his minions round up all of the Irish and make sure they've done their duty as Americans and vote as often as possible. This change of tone now felt like a comedic farce on a par with "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World."
Finally, there's this scene where I guess the audience is suppose to really understand how brutal this gang warfare is, but instead of an awe-filled reaction, most of us in the theater burst out laughing at the ludicrous way in which it was shot. Multiple slo-mo re-play angles of this guy falling dead to the ground until he, at long last, does.
The only reason I would urge someone to see this flick is to witness the performance of Daniel Day-Lewis. Probably the best character I've seen on film in at least ten years. A shoe-in for an Oscar. Other than that, Scorsese can't seem to decide if it's a romantic money-maker for fans of DiCaprio, a convoluted history lesson, or a three-hour-long feeble attempt at some deep, political statement. Unfortunately, it succeeds at all three, inferring that we haven't really changed in all these years and, at one point, even inserting a line of dialogue where somebody says, "It's not the voters who get politicians elected, it's the vote counters." Get it?
Spare me. And by all means, for the love of God, spare yourself. You'll thank me later.
-Tom Pacey