Watch the first 40 minutes or so, then turn it off and do something more effective....like going to the bathroom.

Rating: 5/10 (8 July 2005)

Full Metal Jacket. This title sounds cool. It sounds pretty bad-ass already. This movie had a reputation.and that reputation.stated that this movie was bad-ass and effective. It turns out, those people who said this movie was effective forgot to mention how utterly boring that last half was. I've taken craps that affected me more than the second half of this movie, honest to god.
The movie details some Army recruits through boot camp and the Vietnam War. The movie starts out in the boot camp process, where we're introduced to the characters. It's too bad that only two of those characters stand out: Private Gomer Pyle (Vincent D'Onofrio) and Sergeant Hartman (R. Lee Ermey). Ermey is effective as the drill sergeant who terrorizes, insults, and tortures these people during boot camp. D'Onofrio plays Leonard Lawrence, nicknamed Gomer Pyle, an overweight, underachiever who gets attacked and insulted nonstop.until he can take no more! It's no surprise, folks, that you probably only know the name of these two characters, seeing as how you barely get to know the rest after these two exit the movie. These two characters make for one effective first 35 or so minutes. Unlike the rest of the movie, you actually feel an emotion other than boredom. You feel sorrow for Pyle because he's being tortured, and you want Ermey to desperately stay throughout the movie because he's the only person (next to D'Onofrio) that make the movie worth watching. I mean, come on, Shelley, come on. This movie builds up so much energy and some strong emotions in the first 35 minutes, so then what the hell went wrong after that? I'll tell you what, someone else stepped in and started adding touches to the script..probably.
After this first 35 minutes, and after Ermey and D'Onofrio leave the movie for reasons I won't say exactly, but I will tell you that it involves Gomer Pyle and Hartman getting a special airline ticket..TO DEATH! Well, let me get back to telling you about the separate movie that follows the first 35 minutes of this one: We are now watching a bunch of Army recruits in Vietnam, and the story of this movie is that they are supposedly "Dehumanized" by the war. If dehumanizing means putting in needless (and bad) music cues, and absolute boredom during the war scenes that are SUPPOSED to be effective, than yes, I guess you can say that these people are dehumanized. Come on, Shelley. I read that plot outline, expecting to truly see an effective movie about people dehumanized by war. I thought I was gonna see a truly dark movie that depicted dehumanized people. Nope. When you're in the middle of a war scene, and for no reason, you put in a music cue (terrible uppity-ass songs), that kind of destroys any chance of the movie making you feel any emotions other than complete awe because of how ridiculous what you're seeing is. Seriously, when Army recruits are spouting stupid cocky lines in the middle of a damn war, that really doesn't give you the feeling that they've been dehumanized, and when you put in subtle jokes during war scenes, that's just ridiculous. I expected to feel sorry and depressed as I watched this movie.
I should also add that none of these characters are interesting. They're just stupid, and when they get shot, you feel absolutely nothing for them, even when you should be. Honest to God, whenever one of these characters got killed, I was a little bit happier because I knew the movie was coming to an end. You almost forget that you saw such a great 35 minutes in a movie that's this crappy and BORING AS HELL.
I don't understand it. I can't understand how everyone loves this movie. I can guarantee, someone's reading this, and saying, "Well hey, the reason why you don't feel any emotion during the last half is because none of the soldiers are feeling emotions, are you stupid, LOLLOLLOLlOL!!!" Yeah sure. That's the reason why this last half was so boring and why there was so little character development. I'm expecting to see the following above this review: 0 out of 99 people found this comment useful, because apparently, if you don't like a Kubrick movie, and you don't like this one, you're an idiot and you have "No understanding of the genius of this FILM or FILM in general."
It's hard to believe that this movie started out so good and ended up so bad. That just goes to show you, only two characters truly can make a movie good. If it weren't for the first half in the boot camp, and the bad-ass song "Paint it Black" during the end credits, I'd hate this movie completely. Go watch Saving Private Ryan. At least you'll feel an emotion other than complete boredom. Or better yet, go watch the first 35 or so minutes of this, turn off the movie, and go take a crap. I guarantee, that first 35 minutes and that crap will be more effective than the entire last half of this movie. I've said it before somewhere, and I'll say it again: COMEDIC OVERTONES DO NOT BELONG IN A WAR MOVIE.
This movie's like a hamburger. The first parts are good, but the middle and last parts are terrible. That doesn't make any sense, but I don't care.
Score: 5
UPDATE: Now, the counter reads: 2 out of 6 people found the comment blah blah. Two people have an opinion as bad-ass as mine, but four don't.