A monumentally incompetent movie

Rating: 1/10 (28 March 2015)

I think it's safe to say that Frozen has steadily become an excellent example of a love-it-or-hate-it movie. Many people worship it as though its existence will lead to world peace, while others, like me, love to tear it to shreds. At first I was reluctant to watch the film despite finding out about the world's adoration for it, but after my Mum bought the DVD, I decided to give it a go. My family and I sat down one day after Easter Sunday to watch the film – and honestly, I've never been more disappointed in my life. I didn't just dislike Frozen. I outright hated it. It didn't delight or move me in any way.
There were so many reasons to dislike Frozen that at the time, I couldn't keep count of them. Watching it, I was so flabbergasted at the sheer ineptitude of it that I eventually gave up hope that it would improve and just sat there, knowing that at some point I'd be writing this review. Granted, I found one, maybe two things that are good about the film – but the negative aspects of the film absolutely demolish the positives here. It fails in almost every department. The story is weak. The characters are one-dimensional. The settings are bland. The pacing is awful. The film doesn't open with a bang, but with a boring musical number that serves no purpose; this is followed up by perhaps the most depressing first few scenes in the history of animation, and the film goes downhill from there. Any scenes of action are tacked on. The troll scene is an abomination. The adventure is clichéd and never truly takes off. The supporting characters are useless and unfunny. The dialogue is forgettable. The climax is predictable. There's hardly any sense of joy because it takes itself too seriously. No scenes really stand out because of how rushed everything is, and loads of questions are left unanswered.
However, in my honest opinion, the film's most grievous hindrance of all is the main character, Elsa. She is so thoroughly unlikable that if I were to make a list of my most hated film characters, she'd easily rank somewhere in the top five. Elsa is a smug, entitled, bitter hypocrite, no better a role model for little girls than Taylor Swift. She believes throughout most of the movie that it's better to hate yourself than have any human interaction, making Anna's childhood miserable in the process and showing little to no shame for it. She then claims through her infuriatingly overplayed song that her ability to "let it go" suddenly places her on a pedestal above everyone else; thus, she's now able to love who she is, but then proceeds to do absolutely nothing to actually improve herself until the plot forces her to like a selfish wimp. She's a useless, cowardly, self-important whiner, and it's this aspect, along with the movie's convoluted snoozefest of a plot and mediocre supporting characters, that makes the movie fall flat.
In my honest opinion, despite all of the praise it has received and the money it has made, "Frozen" is a catastrophic failure and easily the most disappointing animated films I have ever watched. My expectations were massive and weren't met at all. Not counting the pretty decent computer animation – the sole thing about the film that's actually good – It doesn't get anything right (though it still manages to entertain undemanding, princess-obsessed little girls, so there's another positive). It's so broken in so many ways that it's beyond repair; that is, unless one was to re-write the entire thing from scratch. What should have been a magical, optimistic winter fantasia full of lively, comedic adventure and heart is actually a miserable, pretentious, aimless bore, and in my honest opinion, the most overrated movie in the history of cinema.