You were doing so well Disney; What happened?

Rating: 1/10 (14 June 2014)

In the last 4 years or so, after releasing some duds for the first half of this decade (Atlantis, Brother Bear, Chicken Little,) Disney has finally returned to its' roots, releasing films that are on par with the classics (Princess and the Frog, Tangled, Wreck-it-Ralph.)
So naturally, I had high hopes for this year's spring release of Frozen. I sat down to watch it and couldn't believe my eyes!
Plot holes, contradictions, mostly forgettable musical numbers and bad jokes abound in this film that is SOMEHOW being hailed as "the best Disney movie in years!" but makes me feel like the creators were more concerned about how many dolls they'd sell, rather than putting together a good story!
The story is about this princess named Elsa, who is, for some reason never explained, born with the ability to create ice and snow out of thin air. After she accidentally throws ice at her sister, Anna her parents, after being told by a bunch of trolls that "fear will be her enemy" LOCK HER IN HER ROOM HER ENTIRE CHILDHOOD, no doubt giving the fear that she's supposed to learn to let go of every opportunity to rise.
Fast forward to three years later and Elsa is about to be crowned queen; surprising as no one's seen her for years; why would they want her to rule them? However, after a falling out with Anna, her powers are exposed and she runs away to the mountains to build an ice palace where she declares she will live on her own forever more so that everyone, especially her sister can be safe from her. Did I mention that she accidentally freezes her entire kingdom and won't try to figure out how to unfreeze it, or that she sets a giant snow monster (she apparently can create sentient beings now) on her sister when she follows her?
Okay, it's one thing if the plot makes no sense but what about the characters? I've already given my take on Elsa, so I'll go through the rest of them individually.
Anna is easily my favorite character in this film. I love how for once instead of making their princess practically perfect in every way, they made her someone who is clumsy and gets into messes that she has to get out of. Anna's klutzy moves, such as when she accidentally squashes her sister's coronation cake with a bust make me laugh out loud. On top of that, I really applaud the unending determination she has to be with her sister again and cheer for her all the way through.
My second favorite character would have to be Hans, a foreign prince who comes to the kingdom for Elsa's coronation and ends up becoming Anna's love interest, due to the fact that his older brothers have treated him the same way Elsa has treated her. He also acts in a refreshingly fun and goofy way and on top of that, he has such an admirable level of competence, taking it upon himself to look after the whole kingdom when Anna goes to find Elsa.
Apart from those two however, I find myself really disliking the remaining characters and even question their inclusion in the film. Olaf, the comic-relief snowman continuously makes jokes that are completely irrelevant to the plot and really feels like he was just stuck in there so that the Disney Store could get a cuddly stuffed toy on their shelves. Meanwhile, Kristoff, the mountain guide who replaces Hans as Anna's beau is hands down one of the most BORING Disney characters ever. He never makes any mistakes, constantly does everything right and makes me cry a little inside because he ends up with Anna instead of the far more interesting prince.
The songs, well actually...some of them are alright; "Do You Want to Build a Snowman", a song sung by young Anna about how lonely she gets without her sister is cute enough, while "Love is An Open Door", a duet for Anna and Hans, while perhaps a little corny is nice, upbeat and does leave you happy for the two of them.
On the other hand songs like "Let it Go" and "Fixer Upper" have very weird contexts that leave you confused. The latter is sung by the trolls to Anna about how Kristoff is no Prince Charming, but could be with a little fixing; who in the world says that about their child? The former is supposed to be empowering...I think, as Elsa sings about how she finally doesn't have to worry about her powers hurting anyone and can now use them freely in isolation, but what, I ask you is so empowering about being cut off from the rest of the world?
I should mention as well that the songs are very unevenly placed throughout the movie, with there being about 4 in the first 20 minutes and then none happening again, until the last third.
In addition to the above problems, the story feels like it's ripping off a number of others. The plot plays out in a fashion eerily similar to Stephen Schwartz's Wicked and Olaf , while cute in design, is basically Ice Age's Sid in snow form.
The one star that I give this movie is simply for the animation, because being Disney, it's still very pretty.
Hopefully this movie isn't the start of a downward spiral in the hits that Disney has been producing in the last little while. Those three films I mentioned earlier are ones that I've added to my DVD collection, have re-watched and will be watching again. This one, however, is not.
I wish that I could turn back the clock and live in a world where Frozen did not exist.