Targeted to brain-dead viewers.

Rating: 3/10 (16 May 2014)

After years of using IMDb, this is the first movie that's forced me to review.
Here's a quick summation of the ridiculous. 1) The snowman was the equivalent of what another reviewer accurately labeled as "Jar Jar Binks". He was supposed to be the slapstick, but it wasn't funny. Donkey from Shrek was cuter, and had exponentially more personality. Plain annoying. He's supposed to be a cherished relic of the sisters' past, but neither one ever emotionally recognizes him.
2) First Disney movie I've ever *sighed* to when I realized another song was starting. Singing about being gassy? I miss classy, noble, well spoken princesses. Keep your "like omg what-everrrrr" nobility.
3) "Fixer Upper". What exactly with the reindeer was outside of nature's laws? Sharing food, talking to, and befriending animals isn't. I don't know what they're suggesting.
4) How can you take a Hans Christian Andersen story, and use his name Hans as the villain? That's not a very respectful tribute.
5) Who managed the kingdom while the girls were growing up? Where did they all go on coronation day? Not one trusted local soul?
6) Hans met the princess on chance, and was very genuine before even knowing who she was. When he fell in the water in the beginning, he had the look of "love at first sight" in his eyes. He managed the kingdom impeccably, and even stopped others from killing Elsa. Why? I thought he wanted her dead, why not just conveniently turn an eye? His personality change was the most in-congruent character change I have ever seen in my life. It's as if they didn't plan for it, and changed their minds to make him the villain 30 seconds before it happened.
7) Trolls. They didn't recognize Anna with the white hair? Not even the chief? They have no respect for a marriage engagement, freely blowing it off, not knowing the circumstances?
8) They play off the whole "love cures a freezing heart" cliché, which is fine, but Anna didn't begin to grow cold as her condition worsened? Anna purely loved Elsa from the very beginning, and Elsa loved her in return. Why wasn't Anna able to control her powers out of love beforehand? No one "learned to love". They all did from the beginning.
9) After shooting her sister in the chest, Elsa makes a snowman that almost kills her sister, yet continues to talk about not wanting to hurt people.
There's more, but is more even necessary at this point?