Awful, an insult to Depp and Coltrane

Rating: 2/10 (15 June 2009)

This was a depressing, awful, dark, dank, and damp (OH GOD was it ever damp, This version of London has to be the wettest i've ever seen.)
Although going full well into this movie knowing it was based on the macabre and mysterious Jack The Ripper, it was more depressing, insulting, boring, and bland than it was suspenseful and scary.
It's sad too, because it appears the Hollywood machine went full force in recreating 19th century London, CGI, costumes, and props. It Could have been a great, terrifying suspenseful mystery adventure. Instead it takes a little Alan Moore, history, and mixes in a terrible script. I actually cringed at the awful, screeching Cockney accents provided by the non British/UK actors and actresses. (Depp was OK though, his being mellow and not seemingly screeched at the top of his lungs like the "unfortunates" was.)
There was no chemistry what-so-ever between Depp and Graham, at no time was I convinced of their attraction to each other, or of their predictable "romance", if you could call it that. Depp seemed to sleepwalk his way through most of this picture, (I wish I could've done the same.) The "unfortunates" are portrayed as the dumbest group of screeching harpies I have ever seen spread across the screen. How many moments of stubborn pride "I won't take charity from nobody" "I'm not a whore", "I wasn't always a whore." "I need to work to live/eat." moments did you count? Especially from Graham?
Even late into the movie, as all her friends lay horribly slain, she still stubbornly sticks her nose in the air with these ideas rather than just taking the money offered to her (and at this point it should be quite obvious that it's not someone trying to get in her pants) and getting the hell out of dodge. It's nothing more than a bad script setup to share a "passionate" kiss with Depp.
The killer story, for one of the most infamous and gruesome murderers in all of history is really quite boring, and lacking any mystery and aforementioned "suspense."
I felt sorry for Depp and Coltrane, I really did. Having seen them both in much, much better roles, at least the friendship and work between the two of them was comfortable and convincing. It's too bad that no one involved in writing/producing/directing this disaster decided that anyone else should be.
Want to see a movie done right with Depp as a detective? I suggest "Sleepy Hollow."
2/10 for Depp & Coltrane.