Surprisingly bad

Rating: 4/10 (21 January 2003)

OK, I like Johnny Depp, I love suspense movies and don't mind a little blood. But this film left me disappointed. Let me just comment a few things:
1) Johnnys accent. On the dvd version, the directors gave compliments to the fact that he was able to switch from Irish to Cockney to posh English, and they were so impressed that they didn't think he needed much coaching. What can you do but laugh. They're American, I guess everything with an intrusive R sounds English to them. Let the specialists be the judge of whether Johnny's accent was British or not, and let him get the help he really needs. I'm a native Swede, and I thought it was was terrible. And that says a lot. (I especially hated his mock Sean Connery thing, pronouncing "s" as "sh".)
2) London in the 1800s was dirty and smelly. Why are the streets so clean, and especially: why is Heather so squeaky clean? And another comment: Heather's character is so obviously much more pretty than the other prostitutes. This could be credible, if only someone would have commented upon it. At least her friends should have teased her about it or something. Or she would be making more money than the others. It doesn't make sense.
3) Johnny is supposed to be investigating a murder. I understand that the methods are much more refined today, but come on... Most of the time he just wanders around looking sad, alternatively surprised.
4) When I heard the directors' comments on the film, I lost whatever respect I may have had for them. Laughing, one of them said he'd cast one of the girls because she had such darn sexy collarbones. Duh. And all of you looking for nudity: on the dvd version, one scene which was cut out can be seen, where a very well shaped and beautiful female body lowers herself into a bath. I agree, she looks terrific. So why was she cut out? The answer is obvious. She was only there as a decoration, had nothing to do with the film, and I found that fact a bit offensive. Needless to say, the directors disagreed with the test audience, who wanted her out. Are we talking Hollywood directors or teenage boys here, everybody??