Those Bums, They Made Hagrid Cry!!

Rating: Null/10 (9 January 2003)

Hey guess what, this crime is officially still UNSOLVED. You did not just watch a documentary, but a fairy tale. Got it? I sure hope so. Let me back up and start with the good elements. It's a triumph of atmosphere that really put the polish on the Michael Caine TV movie, which is quite similar to a point, especially in naming the same culprit as this bomb does. The suspense and the murders are done without going overboard on the red red krovvy. And for a movie I hate, I did love the scene in Mary Kelly's room, showing the Ripper composing himself just before he strikes his final and most brutally butchered victim. If you haven't yet had a chance, go to your local library and take a look at the actual police photograph of the crime scene. It will haunt your slumbers! Slick and thought provoking visually, but oh how terribly Stupid story and otherwise. Once again, the British Empire plays whipping boy to the Hollywood loonies, who know full well the Brits will just sit and take it. The only thing factual is that there really was a Jack the Ripper, and a Queen of England named Victoria. The rest, straight out of a heroin daze. The topper, the scene with Victoria showing she had full knowledge of the crimes. Right out of Python, sans the humor. Eventually we'll see a version where Victoria herself actually does the killing. Think this movie gets popped into the Palace VCR on Sunday afternoons? "Hey, throw that flicker in where great great great great grandmamma orders that Ripper chap to kill all those tarts." Your right, neither do I. We're lucky Tony Blair didn't nuke us over this.