Yes...You Must See This.

Rating: 10/10 (3 May 2015)

Hello my beloved children of the night, it is I, your beloved monstermaster and I have returned - it's time for me to take you back to a time where vampires were actually awesome. That time being 1996, and the movie in question...From Dusk Till Dawn.
I know I already talked about this movie during Halloween last year, but....I thought it would be an awesome idea to talk about this movie in full, of course everybody I know has seen this movie so I am not going to go over the whole plot, but I am going to go over why I think this movie is awesome. For starters, this is how I think a vampire movie should be, it is scary and intense but also exotic and intriguing! It's become one of my personal favorites, so much so I am becoming obsessed with it - i'm even starting to dream about it, you could say that in my dreams I am a regular at the Titty Twister, no i'm not a vampire yet, but I feel I might become one very soon. I even have a fan-made Grimm Wesen based on the vampires in this movie! I love how this movie is different than your typical run-of-the-mill horror flick, it starts off as a typical Tarantino-esque crime caper only for it to become a kickass horror movie in the second half! It took me by surprise! Kudos to Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino for their teamwork here.
This movie is one no horror fan should be without, as it is an absolute must for horror movie fans, vampire movies, and badass movies in general. It's movies like this and Bram Stoker's Dracula that make me wish i was a vampire myself, I just have a thing for bloodthirsty monster types and monster-girls. It's also movies like this and Sleepy Hollow that make me wish I was the one being bitten or kissed like that. The same goes for Bram Stoker's Dracula, and you can't fault me for the latter because the Hessian in Sleepy Hollow is Christopher Walken and when Walken is on screen you don't question anything and just let Walken do the rest! Also you cannot fault me for wanting to get bitten by Santanico Pandemonium because Salma Hayek is a goddess, and i'd gladly surrender to her and be her willing slave anytime. Hey! It was that sexy dance that did it for me.
That sexy dance scene.... by the way is...still impressive even to this day, even more impressive considering Salma Hayek is afraid of snakes and had to be hypnotized in order to overcome her fear. I'd let her bite me anyday! I'd let her bite me anyday! And you can quote me on that! There's so many characters in this movie to love, including the Gecko brothers, the Fullers, Sheriff Earl, Frost, Razor Charlie but I think my personal favorite is this guy here. Sex Machine. This man is one badass mamajamma. Just look at him. How many people do you know that have a crotch-gun? No one.
This guy is AWESOME! I wanna hang out with him! One of the best scenes and also one of the funniest moments comes in the scene where we see Sex Machine transforming bit by bit into a vampire, it just cracks me up - especially when he covers his mouth after his fangs start forming, and his right hand changes to become all monster-like with long claw-like fingernails and then his left hand changes and then he hides his hands behind his back. And he's completely unaware of it at first as is everyone else. It's got my two favorite kind of TFs (transformations) in them - the 'Bit By Bit' variety where a person changes one part at a time, and the 'Completely Unaware He/She is Transforming' kind where the transformee doesn't realize he/she is transforming. It's no wonder Aardman paid tribute to this scene in Curse Of The Wererabbit.
What moment moved me to tears? I'll tell ya.
It has to be when Richie dies, I know he's a psychopath - but that moment made me cry a little. *sobs* Richie's gone? NOOOOOOOOOOOO! Oh well, he'll come back.. but here's the slight hiccup, he won't be human anymore and he'll probably be after your blood, Seth - just a head's up.
As for the funniest moment? Like I mentioned earlier, it was the scene with Sex Machine transforming into a vampire, oh and Frost's reaction to being bitten by him as well, funny as hell and one of my personal favorite scenes. (Frost: He f***in' bit me! F****' BIT ME) That scene cracked me up to no end! It is a pretty awesome movie and it is also incredibly badass, especially with the action and crime elements, the vamps are very intimidating and also intriguing. Not to mention the ever alluring Salma Hayek as the vampiress Santanico Pandemonium, who...is in fact quite hypnotic. I'll admit that the vampire with the snapping mouth on her stomach is a bit much, but why quibble? Fun fact: The color of the vampires blood is green because the MPAA has issues with it being red, they have absolutely no problem with blood - but they don't like it because it's red. It was indeed Tarantino's idea to give the vampires green blood to avoid the film from getting a rating higher than R and to get it past the censors.