Horrible blandpire flick

Rating: 2/10 (6 July 2012)

With names on this "movie" that have then newcomers Tarantino and Rodriguez on them, you'd probably expect something half-way decent. If you have an discerning taste in quality films, you'll quickly realize that this "movie" is probably one that when mentioned to Clooney, Tarantino, or Rodriguez, will probably get you those contemptuous stares of "you're just being an a$$hole". But in my opinion, it isn't trash talking if it's true. This venture starts out with Tarantino and Clooney as brothers who're hiding out from the law. In particular a bigoted sheriff played by veteran actor, Michael Parks, who's in a liquor store shooting the breeze with a backwood, desert rat named Benny about what nosey, small hicktown, busybodys talk about. Then the sheriff does his job of exposition on two a-hole brothers who're in the middle of a robbing/murder spree which started in Kansas after Tarantino's character busted Clooney's character out of a corrections facility. Now if the "movie" had taken a more serious tone from the beginning, in true Tarantino and Rodriguez fashion, it might have actually been good. Where I think it all goes bad is when the two plus Harvey Keitel's character and his adopted Chinese son and daughter take temporary refuge in Mexico at a dive against their will. Since the family are captives hijacked for their "self-contained" R.V. by the brothers.
What follows is mess of cliché'd special effects and fairly cheap make-up effects and gratuitous violence preceded by oodles of topless women who are *gasp* blandpires.This "movie" is just gory for gore's sake. To compensate for a lack of story, imagination, and for Tarantino a lack of clever dialogue. The only redeeming virtue in the entire movie is Salma Hayek's exotic/erotic dancing with a yellow boa constrictor for good exotic measure. This is the only semblance of class or sophistication in the entire "movie" since she remains clothed in a luscious, velvet bikini.
Then the festivities end when the blandpires show their true colors by slaughtering en masse a whole barroom of patrons. It is as dumb as it sounds. This "movie" makes no contribution to the blandpire sub-genre. Interview with the Vampire and Bram Stoker's Dracula brought back the romanticized and urbane blandpire established by Stoker and Lugosi, Blade Agave gave blandpires a more realistic and scientific weight to their folklorish nomenclature of sunlight, garlic, silver and so on. Then 30 Days of Night stripped all that away and made blandpires nothing more than savage parasites truly to be feared.
All From Dusk til Dawn manages is...uh...well you got gratuitous profanity by a master dialogue scribe and equally copious amounts of gore. What is kind of funny about it, is that all of the "actors" behave as though this isn't the first, second, or even tenth time they went to a dive and encountered this sort of a debacle! And to think this is what Clooney gave up E.R. for. But it get's worse, he followed this up with that dreadful Batman and Robin and all it's ingloriousness and homo-eroticism. But hey, not every movie can have the same pedigree of Heat, Braveheart, or Citizen Kane. It's because of crap like this that you truly appreciate when a good movie graces our televisions.