Royalties... what a feeling.

Rating: 4/10 (7 May 2020)

Let's not beat about the bush here: 'Flashdance (1983)' is nothing more than a cash-grab, designed specifically to feed off a cycle of royalties. The intention, even as described by those making the movie, is for the film to sell the soundtrack, which then sells the film, and for the soundtrack to be played in public (via, essentially, pre-made music videos), which leads to further free marketing and brings in a hefty royalty cheque. As such, the piece is pretty much as bare-bones as you can get, its thin story stretched over the ninety minute mark simply so it can be classed as a 'feature'. It's about an eighteen-year-old woman who works in a steel mill by day and dances in a non-nude exotic club by night and... well, that's about it, actually. There simply isn't a proper plot. Instead, the flick moves through short-lived subplots that don't amount to a cohesive whole. I mean, the protagonist's ambition is to be a ballet dancer but we only really see her attempt to do this twice. There's no real drive to her oft-promised but never delivered arc, as she seems quite content with the life she lives and doesn't actually come across all that many obstacles. In fact, whenever she reaches a small hurdle, she throws an absolute fit and acts as if she's starring in 'Fatal Attraction (1983)'. This would be fine if the piece were willing to explore her inner demons but it seems as though it actively goes out of its way not to. There's just nothing all that interesting about the picture. It's shot in an utterly inoffensive but generally effective way, it has a few decent dance sequences (with some really bad doubling, I'll add) and it is, when it comes down to it, absolutely watchable. However, it's neither engaging nor entertaining. The best thing about it is its custom-made soundtrack, which has a number of genuinely good songs on it (including 'Flashdance... What A Feeling'). Of course it is, though; that's the only part that received any real attention. 4/10