ok then.... there's some spoilers I guess...

Rating: Null/10 (7 August 2003)

wow... so... Sat down with my younger sister on July 22, because morbid curiosity got the better of me and we were bored. Movie starts and we're both squirming because our little movie heroin had a very large spider in her room and was oblivious... as we're sitting there complaining that the movie is starting slowly the pile-up scene finally begins and in mid-sentence we're both screamin like fools... very distressing opening sequence that freaked me out even more than the airplane sequence in the first movie (and I'm scared to death of airplane's anyway)... so we're shrieking and logs are flying everywhere and people are melting and sliding and stepping on water bottles and big Devil trucks are coming out of the rubble, whatever shall we do? Then the little b*tch wakes up from her little dream and the movie comes to a complete halt... for the most part... we got a little freaked out during Evan's excrutiatingly long death scene... come on people... I know that death is trying to get it's little design back, but it seemed like it was literally chasing people sometimes... but Evan's death teaches us an important lesson... if you have an apartment like that, then win the lottery, the first thing you should do is either move into a better apartment (or house), or hire a cleaning crew... setting that dump on fire was the best thing that could have happened... I've read quite a few comments about the little pearl of great screen writing involving someone actually saying "They'll be attacked by pigeons" or something like that so I don't even need to touch that... all throughout the dentist office scene I was very upset about young little Timmy's pending demise... he was funny... you know he had the potential to be quite a cutie when he hit 18... and no one wants to die in a dentist's chair... so fortunately one of the movie's "plot twists" saved the day for him... until he got the idea in his head to run into a flock of pigeons that were merely rockin out on the floor... I'm sorry but anyone who runs around when there is construction in progress and then causes a very large commotion deserves to be turned into oatmeal... enough of the death scenes though... i think just about everything else was ripped off of Resident Evil (and much creepier in that movie I might add)... let's talk about Dr. Candyman the coroner... I'm sure everyone remembers him pulling the embalming needle out of Billy in the first movie and making the orgasm face while doing it... remember where he was? in a funeral home... where that kind of thing generally happens... SO WHY IS HE NOW IN SOME CREEPY UNDERGROUND LAIR? So he can talk in riddles and look sinister? give me a break...
alright but this movie was so boring that I'm getting bored reviewing so I'll speak plainly... Check it out if you must... but make sure you watch the first movie a couple times before... there was really nothing wrong with the first one... i saw the sequel as pointless and often frustrating... if you happen to buy or rent the dvd however... make sure you check out the special features in the inifinifilm portion of the dvd... some of the specials (like the terror gauge) were quite interesting and made me feel like I didn't waste $20 on my purchase...