f***....

Rating: 10/10 (31 January 2000)

so i've been trying to figure out what disturbs me so much about 'fight club'. it of course is not the social implications that i see critics talking about; i couldn't give a shit less. It's all been said before and don't think anyone can give a new angle on that one.
it's that here's a guy all on his own. no close friends, no close relationships. business trips for a living. i don't think, like a review i've read says, that he is frustrated by a boring job; his job isn't boring, it's absolutely revolting. it's not an impersonal, mechanized society he lives in. it's soothing and smothering and completely analyzed.
he's very intelligent and probably has a good heart. he lives his life in a detached state; watching, mildly alarmed, lazily but enthusiastically performing his duties as a consumer. there's a sense of emptiness in him that i immediately recognize. it's been ever-present but growing lately in my own life.

on top of the emptiness there's an intense feeling of loneliness. not just the absence of people, but the absence of anything greater than ourselves. i surround myself with people, but the feeling never goes away.
why was tyler recruiting idiots? i don't think he gave a shit about fight club or about society. i think he was trying to make the narrator someone else. the person he could be. maybe it's the ultimate in self-love (although i don't understand the ball-cutting part. you'd think i was in tyler's best interest not to have that happen). maybe that's what was so disturbing. he ultimately saved himself. nobody else could.

maybe it was more a story about living. so many of us are spectators now, i often wonder who is doing the producing, the generating, the creating.
unlike the matrix (which i loved also, but for different reasons), this movie was very personal. it gets under your skin. so the matrix produces an 'oh shit' feeling. fight club gives me a shaky, murky, heavy, turned-on feeling.
it saddens me a bit that this is seen as a 'guy' movie. i'm very much a girlie-girl and this has to be my favorite movie ever. the images and the overall feelings it left me with are going to stay in my dreams for a while. i don't even like brad pitt who didn't disappoint - he played the same role he always plays - the aloof, mysterious, enigmatic guy. it's edward norton that won my heart along with the brilliant script and the kick-ass cinematography and the narration, the narration, ...