The comparison to Clockwork Orange makes me puke

Rating: 1/10 (11 June 2001)

Please.
This is a dismal movie. I'm going to spoil some stuff, so don't read if you don't want, but read on if you want to save some time and money.

After I sat through this abomination, I knew I'd come on here and see that it got great reviews, because it tried to be so artsy that weak-minded people would say they liked it just to try to convince themselves that they have advanced taste. Midway through I told myself that if I heard that "I am Jake's this and that" line again I would get up and leave, but sure enough I kept hearing it and I stayed. Maybe I'm as dumb as the filmmakers. The fact of the matter is that I haven't seen a plot this full of holes since "Slugs". So if I start a fight club, the participants will just start showing up at my doorstep out of the blue and turn into mind-numbed drones that do my evil bidding??? Not only that, but this movie also taught me that if I stick a gun in my mouth and pull the trigger, not only will I live but I'll be able to talk to people in my normal voice, as long as I put a gauze pad on it.
If you still don't know, this movie is about a clinically-depressed guy who's search for therapy leads him to Brad Pitt, who teaches him that beating the bejeezus out of people will brighten his spirits. More guys find out about this, and they all join the "fight club" and then naturally go live with Pitt to become his evil minions. Of course! This must be how the Wicked Witch found all those monkeys. Their evil deeds get worse and worse, and the supposedly still-sane Norton inexplicably keeps hanging out with this bunch. This leads to one totally inane scene where the evil monkeys return from a gunfight with one of their members dead, and all Norton can do is whine "C'mon guys, cut it out".
So after this movie backs itself into a miserable corner, it's only escape is the equally awful "It was all a dream" ending, where we find out that Brad Pitt was just Norton's evil imaginary friend, and that Norton had been committing all these acts himself. Please audience, forget the fact that the "imaginary" Pitt managed to pull Norton from a burning car wreck and pick him up off the ground and hurl him down a flight of stairs. I don't care how psycho you are, your imaginary friend cannot physically pick you up.
Plot hole #9233 asks us to believe that during this short time, Norton had been in EVERY MAJOR CITY in the US forming more armies of mind-numbed robot monkeys, and that every male over the age of 18 in the United States was now a member of his "secret" evil gang. So anyhow, Norton finally realizes that he's been crazy all this time, and to kill Pitt he sticks a gun in his own mouth and blows his neck off, a wound which apparently isn't as debilitating as you would think, since he manages to get right up and make up with his girlfriend and watch peacefully as his evil plot comes to fruition. But wait, you thought he was sane now and would be horrified at what he did? So would I, but that apparently also is not the case.
Before you typically think that my movie tastes aren't as cultured as yours, let me tell you that I loved the masterpiece that was "A Clockwork Orange", and this movie was NO "Clockwork". If Clockwork ended by telling you that the old man in the wheelchair was actually the killer and that McDowell was just his evil imagination, then we'd have a comparison, but Kubrick wasn't that horribly stupid.
I am Jake's bad movie review.