Keeping it short

Rating: 1/10 (11 February 2015)

Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan had zero sex appeal, for me anyway. I hoped I was going to see something a bit more provocative than predictable. However, what unfolded on the screen was a story without enough substance. So I grabbed the first hard cover volume from my aunt's large collection of "literature." She warned me not to expect much and she was right. I somehow got through 150 pages of poorly written boredom and gave up. I'm glad I saw the film for free. On the positive side, I can report that the Music is by one of my favorite film composers, Danny Elfman. Plus, the soundtrack includes music from the likes of Beyonce, Ellie Golding and many others which helps but does not rescue the largely silly visual acrobatics. Maybe my opinion would be different were I a repressed housewife or middle aged spinster. But that is as stupid a remark as the movie itself, given I am a man.