50 Shades of Suicide

Rating: 1/10 (26 February 2015)

Well, I watched it and as per expected it was atrocious. Am I surprised? No. Fifty Shades of Grey was a book that somehow managed to get published and I have no idea how. It's as if the writer was a mom and rummaged on her 14 year old daughters computer and found a sexual fan fiction about some popular YouTuber and changed the names around and edited some of the stuff, made it longer and threw it at a few publishers. It became controversial for the absurd sexual content and a specific tampon scene. The movie takes this story and gives it a massive budget, and throws it on the big screen for you.
What are the good things?
The first hour of this movie is so bad that its actually good and pretty entertaining, the camera-work and soundtrack are honestly not half bad and Dakota Johnson is very attractive. That's honestly everything good I can name.
What are the bad things?
Fifty Shades of Grey is the worst big budget movie I have ever seen in my entire life. They try and go for subtlety and foreshadow a few things in the beginning but it's done so badly that it calls for a few awkward moments. The acting is sub par at best and the way the characters communicate to each other is ridiculously unrealistic. The first hour may be so bad its good, but the second hour is extremely boring, and it's just hard to watch. This movie honestly gave me anxiety.
"BUT ITS NOT MADE FOR GUYS!!!"
Honestly, I watch a lot of movies and I do watch a lot of movies people would consider chick flicks and have enjoyed some of them. It's such a ridiculously stupid argument. Maybe if you're a girl who doesn't watch very many movies ever and doesn't care about writing or anything like that, then they'll probably enjoy it. Good for you. But this movie if you actually take grasp of the elements that signify whether the movie is good or bad, then this swims deep into the bad side.
Fun fact: The guy who plays Mr. Grey has quit the franchise, seemingly due to his wife not being okay with it.
Should you see this?
If you're curious you can go ahead, the first hour of it would be fun to make fun of with friends because of how terrible it is but the second half is god awful.