Plain Awful Mess Of A Movie

Rating: 1/10 (15 March 2015)

Well, why is this movie so terrible? Can we enumerate 50 reasons? No, it should look like this - 50 Shades Of Shame - 1. Boring, overlong, slow-pacing movie 2. No real chemistry between main 2 heroes 3. Rather boring soundtrack, with Beast Of Burden being the only redeeming feature 4. Absolutely underdeveloped characters that look more like school book sketches than real people 5. Absolutely unnecessary prolonged nudity scenes that are neither arousing nor passionate, but plainly uneasy and awkward 6. Very vapid emotional background - we cannot feel for the heroes, and both Grey and Anastasia are just cold, withdrawn, detached figurines 7. No real sexual appeal - yeah, Dakota is pretty, but her nudity leaves a very clumsy, almost ashamed air 8. Tedious talks - all those Contract issues seem so laughable and vapid that leave you deeply shocked 9. Over-pretentious seriousness. Only 2 times when Anastasia chuckled or giggled was that funny, the rest was a yawn 10. Well, even 10 points are too much for this banal, dry, silly piece of horror Not recommended to watch. Score - 0 out of 10 - The Worst Movie of 2015. Period