50 shades of disappointment

Rating: 1/10 (19 February 2015)

I usually don't write movie reviews I'm not a critic, I'm just a Moviegoer and a book reader. During late 2014 while I was bedridden my friends constantly suggested that I read a book that was very popular at the time called "50 shades of Grey". It was actually a trilogy, a love story an erotic novel. More attracted to biographies, I still decided to give it a try. Although called "mommy porn" by many critics, I disagree. I felt it was entertaining and interesting. No, it's not English literature.!! You know this when you go and buy the book, so that should not come as a surprise. Nothing wrong with some light reading every now and then! I found the books to be entertaining and what you might call "a guilty pleasure".
The casting and the chemistry are the number one priorities to make this story work on film. This is what I found TOTALLY lacking in the movie version. The movie version is not sexy. The book is so much better. The screenplay is a watered-down version of the book to the extent that those of you who never read the book will not understand the relationship between these two characters in the film or understand the reason why this girl could ever fall in love with a man like Christian Grey. In the movie he just comes off as a creepy stalker with no real or deep feelings. The film looks more like a bad summary of a real movie.
Jamie Dornan who plays Christian Grey has a serious problem with his Irish accent and it kind of spills out. There is also a lack of depth in his character. It is one dimensional during the whole 2 hours and five minutes. Making it hard for the audience to empathize with him. He comes off as moody, never seductive, playful or sweet which would have made us root for the character and the love story. All qualities that come off very clear in the book along with his mercurial personality which shows off his more scary and unstable side. This is also missing from the movie! Looking serious all the time is not the same as being dark and mercurial. I left the movie theater feeling that I should have spent my money elsewhere. Let me remind you that I am writing as a fan of the book trilogy, not a hater.
Part of what makes Christian Grey a likable character is seeing his lighter playful side which usually comes out in the book when he's writing emails to Anastasia It is here where you start to see their more light and playful dynamic. At no point in the movie is there any sort of reference to this side of him.
There are pivotal moments in the book that show you who these people are and how they function and affect each other which were absolutely ignored in the movie. How can you justify the characters actions if the back story to them is not exposed? How can you empathize with the characters when you never get to know who they are?
Let us review some of the information that was missing:
1- In the book Ana is uncomfortable with Christian's wealth and dislikes the fact he is constantly showering her with expensive gifts. It makes her feel cheap. In the movie that doesn't come off, on the contrary you could even think that his money Is the reason she likes him to begin with. Not having that made clear changes the whole storyline and the dynamic of this relationship. The movie does a poor job of making this clear.
2- To understand the outburst of passion in the much publicized elevator scene, you should have been given a better view of what was going on between them from the beginning. That scene made no since in the movie, it came from no where and it was lacking the HEAT that these two people feel for each other. It was played way to safe by the actors and director. It did not look like a "fuck the paperwork" kind of first kiss.
3- Christian's family dynamic is completely ignored!!!!!. His relationship with his parents and siblings is absolutely ignored in the movie and would have given the viewer an idea of the loving environment that gives him his good, grounded and honest side. It marks the contrast and explains the duality that is Grey.
4- When Christian finds out about Ana's virginity in the book, he freaks out and is in complete shock. He is upset with himself for not having noticed just how innocent this girl was. This says a lot about him. The movies approach is cold and impersonal. Her virginity comes off as something to deal with as fast as possible so he can move on to kinkier things. In the book you see he cares for her more that he can comprehend. Again in the movie he doesn't really seem to care much about anything except the contract.
5- Ana's relationship with her roommate is also a key element. During her whole relationship with Christian Ana's roommate (kate) is terribly critical of Christian, feeling he is dangerous for Ana.. In this movie, the poor girl does not exist at all! She might as well been a "prop"...... which brings me to the following point: All the actors in the movie aside from the two main characters seem to have been hired as "props" since they don't tell their story or add to the main story at all. What a waste of hired talent. As a fan of the trilogy I give this film a painful two thumbs down.
I would have been happy with "plain old vanilla" but what I got instead was an empty ice cream bowl.!!