Middle of Nowhere

Rating: 3/10 (13 June 2015)

I'll admit that I tried to read the books but found them lacking and full of trite and ridiculous material. I failed to see what the big deal was about this story. Was it just sex? Surely not. Have we dropped so far in our sense of taste that this story was made a big deal solely because of its supposedly graphic nature? I can't believe that because there are other stories out there that are just as graphic that are beautifully written.
I'll also admit that I saw this movie twice. Once I watched it on my own because I was bored and I figured if I couldn't make through the book, the movie would surely be easier and less painful. In truth, it was. I was able to watch the movie completely. But unfortunately I'm still left wondering what the big deal was about this movie.
The pacing of the movie is terrible. It does two things. One, it rushes parts of the story that should be filled with character development and then two, it slows down to a snail's pace when showing unnecessary characters like her mother. Yes, her mother should be introduced at some point and this character should give some background as to why Ana would ever fall for such a guy as Christian Grey. It's true he's rich and somewhat good looking, but Ana knows more about him of course and she knows there is this supposed dark side to him. Maybe Anastasia's background could explain it. Unfortunately, that doesn't happen. All we get are slow scenes with her that take away from what little of this story there actually is.
In the end, I sat through the movie waiting for the big pay off. There had to be a point to this. I gave it ample to time to develop. Something to at least show me there was a point to this movie. Something that went somewhere. It unfortunately never happened. The story basically takes you to the middle of nowhere and stops.
What was the point of this movie? Why didn't it have a proper plot and pacing? The first story of a series should at least do that much. I fail to see where else this story could go after this? In the end, it's tired and been done before and much better. Plain girl comes across a mysterious, rich, and good looking man who is surrounded by beautiful women and of course he takes an interest in her and therefore plays out the fantasy of women everywhere right? Wrong. There are elements of that to this story but again it has been done before and again...much better.
There simply isn't much going on here.
I give it 3 stars because it was worth watching again with a friend just to get some laughs out of it and to riff it a bit. If you're into that, it'll serve it's purpose and enjoy. If not, just skip this one. Go watch a good porn, there is probably a better story there.