Only You

Rating: 5/10 (26 December 2019)

I must be one of the few straight men to have read the book, but five years ago everywhere you went you saw women engrossed in copies of it (which charity shops are now awash with), so I thought it might provide some useful insights into what women actually seek in men rather than what they say they do. The suposedly all-important Sense of Humour is little in evidence in Christian Grey, unlike the vast quantities of dosh and very expensive presents that he liberally sprays about to facilitate the charmless and very basic advances that unless allied to fabulous good looks or or the sort of wealth that enabled Bruce Wayne to found the Wayne Foundation would never on their own have got Christian Grey to first base with Miss Steele. (Both book and film are extremely vague about where his vast wealth comes from, other than the fact that he is using it to attempt to End World Hunger; but the carbon footprint from his private helicopter alone probably undoes all the good work his philanthropic endeavours facilitate.)
There is actually more sex in the film than in the book (which not surprisingly devotes far more space to his billionaire lifestyle - and precious little to his supposedly busy life as a hot-shot businessman - and with the haggling over the contract before their sub/dom relationship can commence), but it remains as chilly as it's inscrutable anti-hero and it's presumably the undivided attention that she's getting that women reading the book - and watching this movie - crave rather than the sex.