I wish I was dead

Rating: 1/10 (5 February 2017)

This movie is actually drying my vagina. It's making me never want to have sex. Not because of the fetish stuff, just these two fools are making it asexual somehow. Starting with the kissing, it looks like two goldfish going after the last piece of food. Next, Anastasia Dead-eyes Steele is verging on Kristin Stewart in public level awkward. He looks like Roadkill and his "contract" is the worst piece of shite I've ever heard. These two morons had about as much chemistry as a turd stuck in a dog's ass fur. I would rather pluck my eyes out with forks than watch this again, or any of the future sequels. Im just sorry that even after plucking my eyes out, I'd still have this movie burned into my brain. I'm going to be having PTSD flashbacks of this movie for the rest of my newly asexual life. Also she has bad boobs.