......Oh dear....

Rating: 2/10 (13 February 2015)

I didn't want to bother doing a review for this movie, because being honest it doesn't deserve any more of my time. Nor your's for that matter. Getting straight to the point, a lot of this movie just doesn't work. At all.
Based on the inanely stupid book of the same name you have cardboard cut out sheltered chick Anastasia Steele (yeah, really) and kinky billionaire Christian Grey who partake in confusing bondage sex that actually barely appears in the movie. Yep the most anticipated movie in years because of it's graphic sexual content and Twilight mum fan base that trolls the internet doesn't feature much sex.
So if there's little sex in a movie all about bondage, bdsm and all that stuff what can we rely on to carry the movie? A good story? If you've read the books you already know the answer to that question (those who haven't, it's garbage). Good and interesting characters? The main characters have less engaging chemistry than a two hour chemistry lecture presented by a professor who should have retired a hundred years ago at 3 o'clock on a Friday afternoon. If there was a huge amount of sex going on in this movie it would be more awkward and uncomfortable as opposed to sexy. Why? Because there is zero sexual tension in this movie which culminates in it committing the worst sex movie/porno sin...inducing boredom. Severe boredom.
I give this movie props for two things: one it's actually shot fairly well and does it's best to create an intimate atmosphere (unfortunately the dialogue and awkwardness undoes all that hard work) Secondly at least it's not as laughably bad as the book its based on. Two kinda positive points results in it being given a 2/10.
Thanks for reading and if you found this helpful /enjoyable check out my other reviews.