Have mercy on your man ladies

Rating: 1/10 (15 February 2015)

I sit here with my head in my hands, as i now have to relive the two hours of my life that i wasted on watching this 'film'. I don't quite know how i can put across how bad this film is. My most accurate synopsis is that if you've ever watched a porn film, there will usually be (so I'm told ;-)) a terrible ten minute build up containing terrible acting, cheesy lines, and non believable attraction between the characters...imagine that for two hours and you have Fifty Shades of Grey in a nutshell. The whole affair just seems to fade into one long boring series of encounters, with very little substance to the story, and the supposedly 'steamy' scenes are about as arousing as a flash of your school dinner ladies drawers. The lad can act but his American accent is terrible and much like the book, the script is horrendous, he should sack his agent. the female lead is attractive but again i just don't buy that she would be attracted to the male, and if the film is based upon their fascination with each other, then it leaves you wondering why the hell you're sat there...you actually don't care if they get together.
Its one of those films that just doesn't grab you from the start and it ultimately fails to pick up throughout, make no mistake, had it been at all possible, i would have left after 10 minutes, but i think my girlfriend (who also found it appalling), would maybe have scowled at wasting the money.
Ill sign off with this: WOMEN: wait for the DVD, spend the admission money on a steak for your man, he will appreciate it more.
MEN: At any cost, fake illness ,death,self inflicted loss of limb, get yourself out of watching this absolute dross!