Fifty Shades of Why!

Rating: 2/10 (8 March 2015)

This one goes out to all the negative whiners out there who saw the film - marketing on Fifty Shades was brilliant and that's why Hollywood is laughing all the way to the bank at its $85 mill opener. Yes, at your expense! It has made it's $40 mill back and then some.
It's a thin line between love and hate or whether fans/non fans consent to Fifty Shades. This is the perfect film that everyone wants to beat up. Let's talk about it at the water cooler at work or give up our two cents worth of analogies on the Net, Facebook, Twitter or wherever. Hollywood executives dream.
I can see them all around the boardroom table feverishly pitching this film.
"So we got this Fifty Shades film- "
"How many copies did the books sell?"
"Hundred million or so, but..."
"We'll release it Valentine's Day!"
"The thing is it's not exactly a romance...more along the lines of S&M..."
"What did I tell you about romance...now get me the crop!"
For those of you that didn't favour the books, yet still went to see this film with eyes wide open...too bad, so sad you got duped out of your pocket money. Nobody forced or subjected you to go see it -there's the door, use it, and don't let it hit your butt on the way out!
Reviewers have been rather sadistic about the movie, saying it doesn't accurately represent kink or the occasional detour into S&M. Or dating. Or journalism. Or billionaires. Or chemistry. Or romance. Or love. Or the way human beings speak. In other words, it's just like every other Hollywood film.
As for the sex part - it doesn't happen until 40 minutes into the movie (shout out goes to the gal that actually timed the first sex scene) and there is 11 minutes in total. Somehow, I can't get the image out of my head of a woman feverishly sitting in a theatre with a stop watch!
As for the domestic violence part, I've viewed way more abuse in a litany of other films and on TV. I could give you a list, but frankly I couldn't be bothered too much work. Which makes me ponder if Ghomeshi's damage control team are paying attention, taking notes on what constitutes consensual sex. Having said that...I didn't see the rape connotations reviewers are attributing to this film, but I did witness a girl willing to experiment and test her own boundaries. It was a power struggle between two people about having control. Christian wanted to control all aspects of Anastasia's life. She was not willing to relinquish total control over to him and in that way she was holding all the cards, which made her powerful. Yes, you can walk a fine line right into abuse, but she had the option to leave at anytime or say "No!" She wanted to know what made him tick and didn't bank on the consequences of finding out.
My personal take on this film is irrelevant, but here goes - it was slow, dull-witted, void of any cohesive storyline. It was not meant to be a romance as mentioned above. Maybe if the leads delivered their lines better, shared some mutual real passion or chemistry, were actually believable - the public wouldn't be so enraged at Fifty Shades of Box Office Bliss!
But...I did want to address some of the comments on here about Johnson not wanting to have fans see her movie. She made a generic statement that was taken out of context. She was referencing her parents and how she didn't want them to see her in a sex flick, kind of like how you wouldn't want to view your parents doing it. Johnson was proud of doing Fifty Shades and knew what she signed up for and she did so willingly. She studied for the part by reading and researching BDSM. Dornan went to dungeons and actually watched dominant/submissive sessions to better prepare him for his role. They hired a BDSM to give advice on set, so it would be as realistic as possible. These are quotes taken from Johnson herself - "I'm proud of the movie. I think she's actually stronger than he is. Everything she does is her choice. And if I can be an advocate for women to do what they want with their bodies and not be ashamed of what they want, then I'm all for that."