First time I've left home to watch porn

Rating: 2/10 (16 February 2015)

I only decided to see this after the initial reviews, I simply could not believe it was as bad as everyone made it out to be. Many of the reviews here are similar in grammar and tone, I was starting to think it was some kind of conspiracy. I actually believed there was some kind of anti-fifty shades of grey movement happening on the internet. Shockingly, I was completely wrong.
How to sum this movie up... pretty much everything that has been said here is true. The acting and plot outside of sex scenes absolutely plays out like the stuff you would see in softcore porn. Cliché after cliché right down to the core, I really can't stress enough how awkward and downright tacky some of the lines, or even reactions in the movie play out. While reading reviews here, I saw the phrase "sophomoric writing" pop up many times, now I understand why.
The totally out of place and blatant lip biting, the ludicrous thirst showcased by Anastasia from the very first interaction with Grey is completely out of character and unbelievable for the type of person she is supposed to represent. Half of what she says reads and sounds like lines someone as awkward as her would come up with an hour later in the shower (alone). Christian's character has his owned forced one-liners that are obviously a service to book readers, I won't even bother with it because it has been covered extensively in other reviews. All I can say is I would be in for a few years worth of spankings after all the eye-rolling I did through this movie.
I am convinced the writer's views on romance and courtship have never surpassed the preconceptions developed during her teenage years, when everyone dreamed of being swept away by a mysterious figure with the potential to make all their material dreams come true. This movie is nothing more than a fan service, and I would expect no one but avid readers of the book to enjoy or even be able to take it seriously. The music was okay though, so 2/10..... still a better love-story than twilight?