Thomas Crown meets the Secretary.

Rating: 1/10 (16 February 2015)

My wife read the books and liked them enough to drag me to this film on opening weekend. I wasn't expecting much since the reviews had been pouring out - no male frontal, in France they are letting their 10 y/o's go see this film, etc.
Don't know this E.L. James author, but she isn't a Danielle Steele by any means. Sam Taylor- Johnson? She won the lottery when she married the kid from Kick Ass so I guess she doesn't care what she puts on film for people to watch.
The producers should have never let E.L. have that much control over a script. Did anyone see the Secretary with James Spader and Maggie Gyllenhall? Did anyone see the remake of Thomas Crown Affair with Pierce Brosnan? It seems like those two films got merged and made into this pile of whatever it was.
I've heard the novels were plenty more graphic, so if that was the case, slap an NC-17 rating on it and get some actors that can act and make the film E.L. James wrote.
I think the downfall of this film started with the casting - the guy from Sons of Anarchy was the wrong choice and then he dropped out from so much negative review and then they bring in Don Johnson's daughter and the British guy.
The script was shameful. I've watched porn online that has better dialog. The cinematography was horrific. I could go on about how much technical stuff, the things that actually still mean something when you make a film are terrible.
Don't waste your money. I wouldn't even rent it at home to be honest. My wife had a nice Valentines Day though...
Happy wife, happy life.