Most People Wont Get It.

Rating: 7/10 (14 June 2015)

This is one of those movies that you are going to either love or hate, and you are going to judge hard depending on your beliefs and knowledge about the BDSM lifestyle. if your going to watch this movie and have no experience in the true BDSM lifestyle then you need to watch it with a completely open mind. You have to pick up on the details. Everything in BDSM is in the details... and that holds true with this movie. If you go in with a closed mind your going to view it as a soft porn flick.
I haven't read the books, but i have been a dominant in BDSM for 20 years, which makes me somewhat of an expert on the subject. You must understand that BDSM in its nature and at its core is very sexual as are the people that live the lifestyle. In fact, we call those not in the lifestyle "vanilla".
Most people will think that a Dominant/submissive relationship is weird or wrong. But most people are actually in one. You are in one at work, its just not sexual. In most relationships one partner has more control than the other... one is more dominate than the other in the relationship. BDSM just takes that to a higher , more controlled level without all the power struggle found in many vanilla relationships.
So I am going to break down a few key subjects in the movie:
1)poor submissive girl, rich dominant man- Not typical. However, this is a way in which they try to portray to vanilla people " a powerful man" 2)Most people get into BDSM in their 20s or it comes later in life. Grey being taken in as a submissive at 15 is not at all normal and that is greatly frowned upon.
3)99.9% of girls that get into the life are not virgins. Though I have met a few girls in their early 20s that claim to be. Also most experienced dominants find virgins to be undesirable. We want you to have some clue as to how things work.
4)Consent is always given. In the movie this was done with the contract which is very common. Also a "blanket" consent was given by anna when grey told her that should could leave at any time and that his helicopter would take her anywhere she wanted to go. There was no need to repeat this later in the movie as its basically a verbal contract. The submissive understands if he/she stays they are at the whim of the dom, but they may leave at any time. A contract would set defined boundaries and the submissive would not be allowed to leave when they wish. Otherwise this would give the submissive all the power and make the entire concept pointless( called topping from the bottom).
5)Spankings/punishment/bondage are all common parts of BDSM. Spanking is sometimes used as a punishment, but since most female submissives like it, its rather ineffective as a punishment. It is also sensation play as were the ice cubes. Bondage is very common..sometimes simple like bound hands and others much more complex. Punishments are common. Most vanillas see this as abuse.However, the submissive agrees to accept punishments so its consentual. Also TRUE Dominants are very restrained individuals with a lot of self control. This isn't a drunken hubby beating his wife cause she made a sarcastic remark. This is someone, for all intents and purposes, who is an expert at self control and corporal punishments.
6) A submissives safety and well being( including emotional and mental)is of the utmost priority. Aftercare( care after an session) is pretty much standard though it seemed to be lacking from grey. This may of been to make him look more "dominant" to vanilla viewers, but it actually only makes him look uncaring.
7)Dominants care about their submissives. Grey was portrayed as cold and uncaring who sort of warmed up to anna. Dominants are actually a lot more caring than their vanilla counterparts... Which to a vanilla seems unbelievable since they seem from the outside to be very selfish. Dominants tend to be more selfless than most vanilla people and some submissives. So this part of the movie wasn't the norm. Though you would find a few like that.
Overall this movie is very mild compared to the real deal and while it captures some of the lifestyle quite well, other parts it doesn't do as well on. And a few it gives a bad ( and inaccurate) impression of. It wasn't near as bad as i thought it would be and i actually quite enjoyed seeing how the lifestyle was portrayed to the mainstream public.