More M&S than S&M

Rating: 5/10 (7 March 2015)

One must try - and inevitably fail - not to adopt a patronising tone when reviewing FIFTY SHADES The novel, whose literary merit is neither here nor there (and certainly not there) - launched a new genre of its own - Porno Lite - and so, I fear, will the movie. I'm pretty sure bondage involves more than a few smacks on the bum and lots of kissing, which seems to be about as far as an 18 rating allowed Sam Taylor-Johnson to go.
The movie's fatal flaw is the lack of chemistry between the two leads. They are acting out an attraction they clearly do not feel. Dakota Johnson tries to play it feisty and vulnerable but comes over as a bit bland. Jamie Dornan, who was glamorous and creepy as the serial killer tracked down by Gillian Anderson in THE FALL on BBCtv, is not glamorous enough here - and rather deficient in creepiness. Apart from his under- used dungeon playroom, even the furnishings in his billionaire bachelor pad (and his suits) look as if they came from the high street rather than high-end designers. The whole movie is - sorry about this - more M&S than S&M.
If there is to be a screen sequel - FIFTY SHADES DARKER - I wonder, without much enthusiasm, if some of the contraptions briefly glimpsed in Christian's chamber of horrors will be brought into play. How far can the line between porno and mainstream be blurred? It was much more stylishly crossed in 9 1/2 WEEKS.