Fifty Shades of Why

Rating: 1/10 (20 March 2015)

Once upon a time, a television executive discovered the "Twilight" books, and became such a super-fan of the poorly written drivel that she decided to take up the hobby of writing Twilight Fan Fiction.
Somehow, this developed into the novel that is "Fifty Shades of Grey".
She has admitted to being aware of the fact she is not a great writer, and that the book is her "midlife crisis, writ large. All my fantasies in there, and that's it." Allegedly, she was as shocked as anyone that the book's popularity escalated so quickly and that suddenly she had film studios negotiating for the rights to turn her version of Twilight into a major motion picture.
The film adaptation is just as bad as one might expect given the facts I have presented you with. One gets the impression that both writers really don't have even a rudimentary understanding of what BDSM is, how it actually works, and that everything they know about it is based on every bad cop drama that's misrepresented or otherwise created an aura of terror around that subculture, things they've seen but didn't understand at an adult "bookstore", and maybe a glance at a Wiki article on the subject.
This resulted in the perpetuation of the ignorant perception that BDSM is synonymous with psychopathy and that it's really just domestic violence dressed in leather and carrying a whip. Needless to say, this really angered people that actually do participate in such activities - especially those that consider it a lifestyle. I myself having a working knowledge of the subject and an open mind, find it irritating and obnoxious. The film has all the eroticism of an episode of "Saved by The Bell" and honestly that show is more arousing.
Yet, inexplicably, there is a sequel in the works.
My advice, if you have yet to see this film is to never watch it. It's not even so bad that it's good...it's just garbage with a big budget.
If you went to see this because all of the media hype regarding how kinky and risqué it was supposed to be, and that part of it piqued your interest...and you were hoping to get at least a glimpse into that world, I highly recommend watching the documentaries "Sick: The Life & Death of Bob Flanagan, Supermasochist", and "Graphic Sexual Horror".