A shameless pornographic fantasy in sheepskin clothing

Rating: 1/10 (13 February 2015)

If you are considering watching this for any other reason than to jack off at the movie theater, kindly save your money for something more worthwhile. This is a shameless effort by Hollywood to justify porn as something resembling a work of art or story. Porn is not made to be artistic, neither is it made to do be beautiful, it is meant to stimulate the brain towards sexual passion. Nothing more, nothing less. Watching this would be no different than visiting RedTube in a dark room alone with a bottle of lotion and some tissues.
As an avid writer, I can tell you that one thing has remained true no matter what form it embodied: pornographic content does nothing to benefit story. Sex scenes, passionate love scenes, naked men and women, none of it does anything to create a decent story. The only reason people see movies like this is because of something famously called "sex appeal". Want more people to see your movie regardless of how bad it is? Throw in some cleavage and scantily-clad women!
Why would I, a guy, say such a preposterous thing to regular porn viewers who see it as "okay" or "acceptable"? Because believe it or not, porn is wrong. Crazy, right? It twists the mind and turns women and men into nothing more than tools for your pleasure, instead of the beautiful humans beings they are on the inside, complete with personalities and virtues that are of greater value than their breast size, waist curvature, or penis circumference. Women and men are complex beings just like you and I, and obviously they do not want to be treated like a filthy rag that you only use when you need it most. By purchasing a ticket for 50 Shades of Grey, or even liking it on Facebook, you are telling everyone that you have little respect for women and men alike, and that your pleasure is more important that the lives of an entire gender.
Do not watch 50 Shades of Grey. Do not justify it as "mommy porn" or "wholesome media", because it is neither. It is trash, even worse, it is a foul disease. Avoid it like you would the Bubonic plague (or Ebola, more fitting), because it will do nothing to benefit your life other than destroy the intimate, beautiful relationship that you might otherwise have with a significant other. When someone asks you if you are seeing 50 Shades of Grey, tell them, "No, I can watch porn at home, and for free." and then shock the world by not watching porn and maybe talking to someone of the opposite gender to get to know them without the ultimate goal being to sleep with them. You'd be shocked at how meaningful the world becomes when everything is not about sex.
Let's show Hollywood that we want the art that cinema can be, and not the lowest form of "entertainment" that we as humans have seen fit to create.