Hollywood, you have fooled me for the last time! (not really..)

Rating: 3/10 (16 February 2015)

My notes after watching "50 Shades of Predictable" are as follows: 1. Those who have spent a year anticipating this film - expect a brutal reality check. 2. Those who have considered devoting a VIP ticket for this film - please reconsider. your wallet will be angry with you. 3.Those of you who have left the theater with an odd feeling you've already seen it before somewhere - you are not alone! 4. Clause 3 explained - Ask any shrilly teenager to name that movie: A rich stud, tormented by a secret, falls inexplicably for an average, dazed girl, whose selfish mother neglected her and puts her own interests before her daughter's. The girl is baffled by this Greek God's interest in her, and (rightfully) feels unworthy. Being very protective and flirtatious on the one hand, but telling her she should stay away from him on the other, the girl is very much confused by these mixed signals. The girl, so smitten with his Adonis looks and charisma, is willing to take on whatever crap he is about to lay on her, just so he would be with her. Oh, and there are also some sucking, but of a different kind. ANY GUESSES? 200 points for the righteous winner! 5. I know, I know. E L James has never hidden the fact that her book is an erotic adaptation of *that saga will shall not speak its name*, but for the love of God, do we really have to see it twice? only with the addition of nudity and lots of sex?! 6. It is beyond me how a book written by a woman, a screenplay written by a woman and a movie directed by a woman turned out to be no more than a sleazy B class soft porn intended, solely for the pleasure of male viewers!! Gee, thanks a million dearest MPAA, for letting me sit through more than half of the film watching Dakota Johnson's 13-year-old-boy, nude, unshaven body, while showing none of Jamie Dornan's "assets". That was exactly what I envisioned and hoped for!! 7. For those of you who are still considering watching it, keep in mind: IMDb rated this movie at 3.8 ... Kellan Lutz's "The Legend of Hercules" got 4.2!! How's that for perspective?...I rest my case.