Fifty Shades of Disappointment

Rating: 3/10 (17 May 2015)

I can say very proudly that I never read the Fifty Shades of Grey book. After seeing this movie, I have to say that skipping the books was the best decision I ever made. Within the first few minutes of the flick, the entirety of what to expect is laid out right before the viewers' eyes. As soon as you see Anastasia disappear behind an elevator door with the word "Christian" on her lips, I suggest you get out. By this point, the extremely awkward and lackluster acting, as well as the poorly written and cheese infested script are very evident. Don't expect these to go away either, they remain throughout the entirety of the film. Also (spoiler alert), if you expect any chemistry to develop between the characters, turn back now. This is hardly a romance movie, and both of the main characters are stale. The movie essentially leaves you exactly where you left off: the main characters do not have a relationship and neither character has evolved. The complete lack of plot resolution leads me to a couple of possible conclusions: a) the makers of this film hate everyone and want to punish them (much like Christian Grey), or b) there is a sequel in the works. My guess is b, though I hope that sequel never sees the light of day. Either way, two hours of my life are down the drain and I can now say that movie quality has reached an all time low.