Fifty Loads of Crap

Rating: 1/10 (19 February 2015)

OK... let's talk "Fifty Shades of Grey"... first of all, let me start saying that I did not read the books. Well I did start reading the first one, but when I got to the "contract" part, I could not take it anymore. I thought that the book was really bad, poor written skills and very repetitive. So I tossed away. But I just saw the movie and what a load of CRAP. I think the movie might be even worse than the book. As a former student of cinema, I do pay attention in every single detail and I could actually direct this movie better than who did. There was no sensuality, no erotism, not chemistry between the actors, not a drop of sweat, they didn't even kiss with tongue, nobody had an orgasm, nothing, just some slaps on the butt, duh and for calling himself a "dominant" in a BDSM world "Christian Grey" was way to amateur, practically a virgin himself, there was not a believable scene in this movie, maybe when she was crying, but even then it looked more like a soap opera. Btw... Jamie Dornan disappointed me. I do prefer him as a serial killer in the British series "The Fall". I do blame the director for this poor movie, more than I do the actors. The movies "Secretary" with Maggie Gyllenhaal and "9 1/2 Weeks" with Mickey Rourke and Kim Basinger are my favorites on this genre.