A Review from Someone Who Likes This Stuff

Rating: 3/10 (21 February 2015)

I'm a man in his early thirties who's written and read a decent amount of erotic fiction, most of it involving some sort of BDSM. Most of my relationships have been "regular", but I fancy myself a dominant when I am involved with a willing submissive. For this reason I had to see this movie (I hadn't read the book). I had to see if this movie was "real" BDSM and whether the main character was truly "abusive". I also had to see this movie because I couldn't trust any of the reviews. The first 10 or so user reviews on IMDb I've read rated the movie low because the main character was reportedly a bad guy or because they had high expectations for the dialogue. I didn't mind either of these flaws.
For those interested, yes, this is one representation of a BDSM relationship. While Anastasia is naive and apprehensive throughout most of the movie, there is sexual bondage, domination and submission, making it BDSM. Some of the action flirts the line of Safe, Sane and Consensual, but that doesn't change the definition of words. Christian Grey is somewhat abusive. There is nothing as bad as I've been led to believe, but there is severe jealousy and light stalking, not unlike you might see in a movie about a regular relationship. For me, the movie could still rate a 10, because I don't need all my main characters to have the golden morals of Superman. Flawed characters make for better stories. The problem with Fifty Shades is the *lack* of story.
The buildup is quite good. The characters aren't brilliant and the dialogue is definitely unnatural at times with Christian spouting one-liners reminiscent of made-for-TV movies. The sex scenes weren't overly titillating, but they were moderately hot and seemed to be edging closer to some hot grand finale. The actors are nice to look at in their barely-R-rated nude scenes. In my head, the movie was getting a 6/10 for the first 30 or so minutes.
But then the movie stalls. The characters stop growing, the plot goes in circles, you wonder where the chemistry went. Why do they still like each other? Finally, it's over before anything significant happens.
I can forgive lackluster dialogue and stereotypical characters, but the lack of sexy, BDSM, and plot in a sexy BDSM movie is unforgivable. Watch Secretary instead.