Noooooooooooo

Rating: 1/10 (15 February 2015)

People seem to realize that this movie is bad. Horrible, even. But that's not the real question; no, the real question is: Is this movie worse than cancer? Well...at least with cancer you die. Everything about this movie is wrong. The acting is wrong. The script is wrong. The sex is wrong in all the wrong ways. At one point, Christian states that "I don't make love. "I f***. Hard.". He promptly ties her up and makes love to her. Christian, I hate to be the bringer of bad news here, but just because you tied her up does invalidate your love making. There wasn't even a point to her being tied aside from "oooh look at our edgy, kinky sex". But it wasn't. It was pretending to be. The most accurate plot summary of this movie would be "a compulsive liar pretends to be a sadist and is constantly on the brink of tears about it.".