I swear to god, if you bite that lip one more time....

Rating: 2/10 (16 February 2015)

WEll... I did read the books, and I did think they were alright...
What I don't understand is the expectations I had prior to watching the movie. The books are basically about nothing, but Christian and Ana going at it everywhere. And that pretty much sums up the plot of the three parts. There is that minor Leila thing in book two, but that's just ridiculous, so lets not even mistake that for a twist or part of the story line. So in all fairness, it would have been rather surprising had the creators turned this mediocre read into an enjoyable movie. They could have at least tried though...
Spoiler, I think
First thing that irritated me: Christian Grey... I do think that everyone who read the books had their own Christian and Ana imagined, and the creators could not have found a Christian that would have been approved of by every fan, but this guy is... is a joke. He is ripped, I gotta give that to him, but apart from those abs, he does not really have anything else to show for it. He is supposed to be this mysterious guy, that is just so charismatic and so "grey" ha ha, that simply thinking of him should make us blush. Instead we have a guy, that looks like an underwear model and is capable of showing absolutely no emotion.
Second thing that irritated me: The complete lack of chemistry between the leads. I actually found Ana to be okay, I mean all she had to was biting her lips and looking innocent. She kind of nailed that part. But whenever these two were in a scene together[ which is like 88% of the movie] it just felt odd. There was no tension, no sparks, none of that romantic bull. Only lip biting.
Third thing that irritated me: We all know, Fifty Shades of Grey is based on a fan fiction, which was based on Twilight. That's fine, I could not care less actually. I did not really like Twilight either. But there was that scene when Ana and Grey went for a walk in the woods. Seriously, I swear I had seen that somewhere else before. The content of their conversation may have been less pg-13 though... There were other similarities to Twilight, which is just plain horrible.
To sum up, it is a film that you might be able to suffer through once, with the right amount of pop corn nearby. I would love to mention something I liked about it, but apart from Eliot being extremely attractive, nothing comes to mind. Grey had a nice apartment... Yep, thats it.