100 Shades of Terrible.

Rating: 1/10 (12 February 2015)

I was in the mood for a great film about a young girl who meets a successful and seductive businessman with sexy results. This was not the case. This film was purely awful. No one can blame me for not being in the right frame of mind for the cinema, as some reviewers are. They see a film and end up having a bad night and they put the entire blame on the film, this is not the case for me. I was in a positive frame of mind, and really in the mood to see what I thought would be a somewhat good if not better than mediocre film.
This film is about two people who have no chemistry "falling" for each other. "Falling" like off a three story balcony leaving you without the use of your legs for the rest of your life. I'm just going to be blunt. This film is about GLORIFYING DOMESTIC VIOLENCE and a little girl in over her head who tolerates it. The man in the relationship, Chris, in a career-ending performance portrayed by Jamie Doormat, is a control-freak who must be in control in everything he does, including the life of his BDSM buddy, Ana.
Not only does he creep onto her, HE BEATS HER, non-consensually while they have intercourse, he stalks her, HE INTIMIDATES HER and he shows no love for her. If this were any other film, he would be the antagonist. If you're in the mood for a movie that shows what true love is, I suggest you see Mrs. Doubtfire, as that film is about a loving family man who shows his dedication and support to his wife, even after they are separated, and his children, by dressing up as an elderly female babysitter.
50 Shades of Brown gets 1/10 stars from me as I am unable to give A BIG FAT ZERO.