Oh, baby. Welcome to my world.

Rating: 5/10 (22 March 2016)

When handsome billionaire and closeted sexual dominant, Christian Grey meets timid, virginal college girl Anastasia "Ana" Steele he sees great submissive potential in her and goes to great lengths to pursue her.
And by 'great lengths' I mean try to control every aspect of her life and by 'pursue' I mean stalk her relentlessly.
For obvious reasons I went into this movie with very low expectations, but it wasn't as bad as I thought. Don't get me wrong, it's bad; a given seeing as though the source material it's based upon is bad... and the source material that's based upon is bad. But a lot of what is wrong with it is mostly due to E.L. James' problematic writing, which I can't fully blame upon the film makers (who, to give credit where it's due, seemed to go out of their way to make a glossy, slick looking movie.)
For example, when Christian declares, "I don't 'make love'. I ****... hard" to Ana only then to apparently 'make love' to her in the very next scene after she reveals to him that she is still a virgin.
Or how he repeatedly tells her that he is not good for her and she is to stay away from him, but when she does exactly that he pursues her and tries to persuade her yet again to become his submissive.
Or how Ana keeps asking Christian to show her what she's in for if she agrees to his demands and then getting angry when she doesn't like it.
She redeems herself slightly in the contract negotiation scene where she tries to meet him halfway by agreeing to the things that she is comfortable with and eliminating the things that she isn't, but then she's right back to agreeing to letting him do what he wants to her and getting upset when she doesn't like it.
Well, you get the idea.