I kept an open mind. My brain fell out.

Rating: 5/10 (11 April 2015)

I really tried to see it from all angles. I forced myself to ignore the really weird dialogues, the uncontrollable female gasping at every touch of the guy, the impossibly longing looks shot to the girl or the fact that for any person I know, the behaviour of Grey would have really freaked them out (and I don't mean the sexual practices).
But after all that, I just couldn't believe how inconsistent the characters were. Any story has a first goal that absolutely must be achieved, and that is the suspension of disbelief. When the viewer cannot believe things like this can EVER happen (I mean, we believe magic and star ships are OK) then the movie fails. This film has failed.
I could not believe a twenty-something virgin can have the confidence necessary to wrap a hot charismatic experienced millionaire around her finger. I could not believe that a guy that needs to dominate women can be so weak and out of control. But worst of all, I could not believe the sex scenes.
I understand and acknowledge that women have their fantasies, but the one about the hot single rich stud, domineering and charismatic, who falls head over heels for the virginal girl, then ultimately either submits to her cultural perspective on a normal relationship or gives her the power to reject him is not only spooky, it is offensive.
Bottom line: Just like that joke about soft porn being hard porn at half the speed, this two hour long movie is a sort of softer soft porn, at a quarter of the speed. The fact that many critics praised the movie for being a lot better than the amateurishly written book makes female sensuality seem even more terrifying to me that it already was. And it was boring, people! So so boring!