Stop making these! Please

Rating: 1/10 (23 April 2011)

OK, You know when you're in trouble when the die hard F&F fans behind you burst into hysterical laughter at the movie's very first stunt, but then again,so did the whole cinema.
This film is the classic metaphor for the postmodern tripe that Hollywood has had the misfortune of ever getting into bed with since Get Rich or Die Trying.....you'd think they would have taken a lesson.
It also is the classic overly used unrealistic stunts, like the ones we would usually see in the 80's muscle films. Classic example, 5mins into the film, Vin Disiel drives a car off a train, but hits the ground square on the nose and you see the wheel buckling.......you blink and the car is back to pristine condition......? And it was boring, yes extremely boring, for a driving film, they're was about 15mins max, the rest seemed to concentrate on developing love interests and avoiding the occasional rabid mob.
In this case - get cars, get paid and get lost................(that's pretty much how grammatically fluid the script was).
Plot - Once AGAIN ex FBI agent and Vin Disiel go about looking for top of the range cars as they're still broke and off the Radar, only this time in Brazil, one last job etc etc etc. FBI sends they're best man, who happens to be a pro wrestler ( but out acts all in the film by a long shot) and his muscle bound team of trigger happy feds. But there's a Rio business man/gangster with all this cash just hanging about in safe houses (how convenient), which they proceed to rob. Yawn! There are many faults with this film, but my top 5 gripes are thus: 1. The script & dialogue. Seems to be written by a middle school kid who is flunking at English. 'You Family' 'We Hungry' ' did yo slap or tap that ...........eh? Excuse me? Scripts....and Films like this (using the term loosely) justify film piracy. If refunds where available, who honestly wouldn't demand one after this garbage.
We get all the usual propaganda about how it funds terrorism and the other political mantras. This Film justifies the murder of cops, stealing cars and excruciatingly bad acting. Please can we have a law in the future which states that actors have to be part of the actors gild or trained to an acceptable standard ( by acceptable, not hitting out with this urban degeneration of English).
2. The cops just switch sides.......yes the cops that have no other goal but to hunt down and bring these men to justice, just change sides and help the bad guys out...............seriously, now get lost. And more to the point, why does the female cop instantly fall head over heels for someone who is in the same circuit that killed her husband, I found it was cringe worthy as the two of them swaggered up to the beach house at the end.
3. The 'we need a team to pull off this last job' Cant we make films about someones first job instead, its exemplifies the person who is sick of their day job, in this case, nicking cars and getting paid loads of cash.....but you can see the hypocrisy there. The team..........totally being ripped from Oceans 11 and Gone in 60 seconds films. The fringe characters from the previous F&F films, (I never did watch Toyko Drift so I didn't have a clue as to who the Japanese guy was. I can feel my blood pressure rising as I type.
4. They manage to rob a police station with more troops on the ground than America has in Afghanistan and Iraq and not take one single causality. Dragging a 10 tonne high security safe along with two medium range size cars??????? Who the hell where the two Brazilian freaks who did...... well, what exactly? Jumped around spewing out jokes with would only appeal to someone with the IQ of a demented Badger. The indoor training to beat the cameras where they needed invisible cars. So the highest security office in Brazil doesn't realise that 4 of its muscle cars, ( yes that's right the Brazilian police instead of Fords have supped up NOS guzzling super cars as basic patrol vehicles) are missing? And then it transpires that they don't need them. But just to keep a low profile, they drag race them along Rio main intersection.......Yeah sure, trying to be inconspicuous.
5. The big happy ending for everyone,......... laughable. Once again the cinema was in hysterics, not at the badly time jokes from Tyrese ' His agent should be shot for war crimes for introducing him to Hollywood' Gibson and his obvious comic relief character as, quite Frankly, no one can take him seriously. The Japanese guy and the ex-military bird just speeding around Germany in a super-car. The two Brazilians gambling in Monaco........
For a team of people who wanted to just disappear, they managed to annihilate a whole squadron of police cars, assault Brazil's maximum security police station, destroy half of Rio, Kill about 40+ police officers and then for their retirement, buying the rarest cars in the world ( always the best way to lie low for a while)..........which government in the world wouldn't seriously just unleash the death squads against them after the above.??????? Hopfully, this is the end of this terrible franchise and hopefully the end of most actors careers in this steaming pile of you know what.
Watch at your own peril