Absolute garbage

Rating: 1/10 (14 January 2014)

I'd give this zero stars if I could. Everything about it was just awful. The weak script was made even weaker by the dry, emotionless, utterly unremarkable acting (Vin Diesel and Michelle Rodriguez being the worst perpetrators). A ten year old writing a creative essay for school could have come up with a better plot. What action there was was so meaningless and forced. To be specific:
1) Why have Gina Carano, who apparently is a mole in the crew, fight Michelle Rodriguez who, at the time, was working for the bad guys? They were both on the same side, so they wouldn't have needed to fight.
2)I'm sorry, but since when is a super-tank guarded by two unarmored jeeps with no turrets? And since when are tanks shipped with ammunition in them? And how do they know how to drive it? The squashing of all those random cars was a lame attempt at making the bad guy more detestable, but it was just laughable. And the way they brought it down was absurd and an insult to physics.
3) Probably my biggest gripe in the movie is in the same tank scene. As Rodriguez's character (I forget her name b/c she's so forgettable as a character. I think it was Larry or something)is about to fall off the tank and down to certain death, Vin Diesel scrambles to the hood of his car. Just as Rodriguez falls of a fast-moving tank, Vin Diesel jumps from his also fast-moving car (and apparently he has hops like Michael Jordan), catches her in mid-air, slams into a car on the other side of the highway, and is JUST FINE. Not a single scratch or bruise. Later on, Rodriguez asks him "How did you know that car would be there to break our fall?" WHAT. BREAK YOUR FALL? Since when do cars "break your fall"? The last time I checked, people who jump off of buildings and fall onto cars don't survive. THEY DIE. And at the speed they were both going, and the way Vin Diesel hit that car's windshield, they both would have died or at least suffered life-altering injuries.
4) The "plot twist" was also ridiculous. The bad guy is caught, but he threatens one person and they hand over a chip that can start WWIII? And then he conveniently has an AC-130 transport plane waiting for him?
5) The final 20 minutes of the movie I spent with a look of grotesque disbelief on my face. The plane is moving at take-off speed, about 150mph, throughout this ENTIRE scene, and yet it doesn't run out of runway? Where'd he find a 50 mile runway? And the rear door was conveniently left open the whole time so cars could keep driving up inside and wreaking havoc. Vin Diesel does this ridiculous flying headbutt. The bad guy gets jettisoned out of the windshield of a jeep he was trying to drive off the plane and yet the jeep was barely rolling when it shot him out of the plane. The plane is stopped from taking off by three lightweight cars affixed to its wings. A fourth little car SOMEHOW brings the whole thing down and wrecks it. It bursts into a ball of flames and Vin Diesel somehow drives a car from the cargo bay through the rest of the plane (which is impossible) and out the nose of the airplane while it's burning up and exploding. His car flips over a dozen times at over 100 mph and he not only survives but walks away unscathed.
6) The whole plot was just absurd to begin with. An uber-terrorist is trying to gain control of a computer chip that could start WWIII and instead of sending in some SFOD-D operators, Navy SEALs, CIA agents or whatever, they get a crew of criminals who only skills are driving fast and shooting unnaturally well? COME ON.
I can't say enough bad things about this movie. Bad acting, bad script, bad plot, and to top it all off it was too long. Hands down the worst movie of 2013.