Flat and Farcical 6

Rating: 1/10 (11 June 2013)

What do you do if a bad guy intends stealing a device that could threaten the population of the entire world? Do you send in the Marines to sort him out? Perhaps Special Forces? May be a crack team of operatives trained in covert operations? Of course not, you get someone from an unknown department that looks like he has overdone the steroids and likes wearing tight t-shirts,(Wayne Johnson), to approach a crew of law breakers who can drive cars fast slamming them into the gears at the same time as hammering the throttle. Obvious really! They can chase the baddies at high speed through city centres including London ( some chance - I hope they paid the congestion charge or they will have broken the law even further), or stop him the bad guy when he is driving a tank along a Spanish highway by just using a bit of steel cable and an old 1970's Ford Escort. This was a truly dreadful film whose script must have been written on the back of a cereal packet using a crayon. The acting was as bad as the storyline. Diesel Van looked more like a man sent to clear your blocked toilet. Unfortunately he didn't do it with this pile of hokum.
I marked this review as containing spoilers but it's hard to imagine how a comment could spoil it any more.
The film also contained numerous product placements and ended with a barbecue where an obvious brand bottle of ketchup had it's name covered by a bit of red tape. Perhaps they refused to have their name associated with this rubbish movie.