Terrible

Rating: 4/10 (29 May 2007)

Fantastic Four: A group of social retards that must face off the pathetic little unhappy scientist because he couldn't buy a pony. In a nutshell, that is metamorphically what the movie amounts to.
Ioan Gruffurd (or should I say Bob Saget playing Danny Tanner in Full House?) is a super nerdy scientist who becomes Mr. Fantastic during a cosmic storm (which in itself, is nothing special, even if its on the silver screen). Ioan Gruffurd is convincing but is written in the footsteps of Danny Tanner in Full House, thus reducing the impact of his role.
Jessica Alba is the Invisible Girl, who can turn invisible (duh) and create force fields. Her role is no more than OK. She has many corny moments but still has an occasional good line. It is also pretty obvious why they chose such a bad actress for the role (as you will see three times when she's next to being naked.) Some guy I forget plays Ben Grimm. Ben Grimm is one of the highlights because the guy plays a nice, average human tortured by his inner conflict of being huge. The inner conflict is pulled off really well, and the actor who plays him makes it all the more convincing.
Chris Evans plays the Human Torch. Another highlight of the film. Yes, the character is written as a jerk, but his wonderful performance makes him a lovable jerk and provides some of the better humor of the film. However, he has one or two pointless scenes (random motorcross scene?), making you wonder why its even there.
Julian McMahon plays one of the wimpiest villains ever (aside from the villains of Batman and Robin), Dr. Doom. In the comics he is the archetype of evil, a force to be reckoned with. But here he does little damage, his motives are non-existent, and he has some extremely corny lines spoken in a very cheesy manner. He looks intimidating but is not. What I do like about him, though, is his very, very last scene in the film. That's it.
The storyline is a bore aside from Ben Grimm's emotional conflict, and the action is almost non-existent. Only towards the end is there a heavy action sequence, which sadly reeks of Tim Story. There is one earlier in the film, and it's pretty bad too.
What can I say? The movie is bad. It has its moments but in the end, just can't pull it together. 3.9/10.