"Fantastic Four" more like "Tawdry Three"

Rating: Null/10 (20 July 2005)

Ostensibly this "Fantastic Four" becomes a "Tawdry Three"  the good, the bad, and the ugly. If there had been a little more good and a little less bad and ugly, this might have been a great movie. The Good. The potential is staggering. Having stayed relatively true to the original comic book, the script has some really excellent qualities. Screenwriters Mark Frost ("Twin Peaks") and Michael France ("The Punisher" and "Cliffhanger") have created a competent script that is really fine at times. There is playful banter between the lead characters that is written and performed well, and some pretty exceptional special effects. Two of the five main characters are portrayed by superb actors that capture the true nature if the originals. Of course, it mustn't go unmentioned that the original characters were not that deep to begin with. However, there are two exemplary performances here. Chris Evans and Michael Chiklis are nothing short of "fantastic" (yeah I really did it) as Johnny Storm (The Human Torch) and Ben Grimm (The Thing) respectively. Both actors capitalize on the strongest parts of the script (the banter between the two superheroes) and do a credible job of drawing believable characterizations. Chiklis has to do most of his acting with his voice (electronically altered) and his eyes. He is very good at creating a character that has the depth and soul while at the same time demonstrating the angst of being thrust into a body made of stone. Evans is excellent in his devil-may-care characterization of Johnny storm. In him we feel every child's dream of becoming the superhero as we experience with him the onset and discovery of his powers. His childlike, Peter Panish, I'll never grow up attitude is infectious and pulls us into the storyline whenever he is the main focus of the film. He is also part of the best special effects offered here. When he totally "torches out" it is a joy to behold, and one of the movie's defining moments is when he yells "flame on!" while jumping from a skyscraper. If the rest of the movie could have even half kept up with Evans and Chiklis, it would have been a very good movie.unfortunately it didn't.
The Bad. Two more of the five main characters are simply bad, the fifth will be discussed later. As Dr. Reed Richards (Mr. Fantastic), Ioan Gruffudd, appears to be a capable actor. Unfortunately, he lacks heart in his underplayed rendition of the "stretchable" Dr. Reed. The characterization is low key, because it is the doctor's nature to be low key, but Gruffudd carries it too far and comes off as lummoxy and boring. Doubly unfortunate is that his main screen partner is totally inadequate  to be discussed later. Julian McMahon as Dr. Doom is nothing short of completely disappointing. Being a huge Nip/Tuck fan, this reviewer was looking forward to seeing this accomplished and talented actor on the big screen. With a weakly drawn character, and no true motivation to be so "bad", McMahon's performance under whelms even the most faithful fan. Additionally, some of the special effects, while wowing at times, are clichéd in their execution. How many times do we need to see a fire truck teetering on a bridge before it is just too many times? And to exacerbate the situation, they actually have a dog putting his paws over his face, totally cheesy and inappropriate in the context. The script is rampant with unfunny jokes for all the lead characters with Johnny Storm getting the only successful zingers in the whole wash. If the dialog could have been of the caliber that Chiklis and Evans demonstrated it would have been great. Most disturbing is, again, the tremendous unrealized potential.
The Ugly. A lot of the ugliness lies in the casting of Jessica Alba as Sue Storm(The Invisible Woman). This performance brings back horrible memories of actresses who keep getting parts just because they are nice to look at - and she is indeed nice to look at. But there has to be some level headed somebody somewhere who should have looked at the early rushes (or even screen tests) and seen the potential for disaster here. This is a performance of the caliber of the high school actress who never does another play because her first experience was so devastating that she would never walk the lighted boards again. Unfortunately for "Fantastic Four" fans, this actress was not deterred. She ruins the movie. She simply cannot act. Her line readings are bad, the chemistry between Sue Storm and the other character is horrible, and her depth is non-existent. No one even cares about the love triangle between Storm, Reed, and Von Doom, because she doesn't have the acting ability to makes us care even a whit about her character. It is impossible to make a successful film that involves a team of four when there is one member who is non-functioning. It makes me sick to think how great this movie could have been, with all its other flaws, by simply casting a Jennifer Love-Hewitt or Scarlett Johansen in this role. Again, we head back to the lack of potential in this film.
Bottom line. The die hard fan must see this movie. Even with all its weaknesses, the fan will enjoy seeing their heroes (with the exception of Sue Storm) come to life on the big screen. For the casual fan or the non fan, don't bother.