a disappointment as far as comic-book adaptations go in this day and age

Rating: 3/10 (17 May 2007)

What makes Fantastic Four such a grave misstep of a summer blockbuster is that potential for a better movie is squandered. This potential lies mostly in what was likely a better screenplay- co-written by Twin Peaks co-creator Mark Frost (which was, in truth, the reason I decided to check out this movie two years after its initial release)- before the producers and other 'committee' members that usually go over and make up their own 'bits' to put into the movie took over. There are kernels of a more entertaining flick here, even as just a goofy B-movie (certain lines of dialog, like "the clouds are accelerating" or Thing's line to kids "don't do drugs). But there's just basic problems that end up becoming all the more apparent and actually annoying as it rolls along.
For one thing the characters have been dumbed down, either by aforementioned producers or whomever (maybe it was even Frost for all I know), for a mainstream audience; they're like the fantastic four for the pre-teen mall crowd (i.e. the scene where Johnny Storm goes snowboarding with the nurse seems like it should be on one of those monitors that plays in the food court). There could still be some interesting things to have with stock characters, with one of them at least, Ben Grimm/Thing (played in maybe the only half-way decent job by Michael Chiklis), being compelling in the traditional conflicted superhero fashion of person vs individual powers. But the actors chosen are really all but second-rate, as the characters ask to be played by stars, not so much TV people (yes, even Jessica Alba, as sexy as she can be stripping off to go invisible, ho-ho); Chris Evans also makes it in my un-official book as one of the most annoying performances in any movie in the past few years.
And finally, there's the actual craftsmanship being Fantastic Four, which feels the most lax. At a time period when the comic-book adaptation brings out from filmmakers their strongest gifts at making exciting action sequences, spectacular special effects, and fun comedy amid the high momentum of thrilling moments, Tim Story just doesn't cut it with the rest of them (i.e. Sam Raimi, Bryan Singer, Chris Nolan). Maybe this should've been expected, as it is his first huge summer action movie, but nevertheless his skills at making action seem dynamic- chiefly with what should be a harrowing rescue scene on the Brooklyn bridge- is close to nil, and seems to not have much input into making the intentionally comedic moments, or just slight moments of wit, worth even a chuckle. And unfortunately Story isn't even outrageous enough to make Fantastic Four an awesomely bad movie, where there can be some guilty-pleasure to be had in over-the-top performances. Timing seems to be off in several scenes with the fantastic four dealing with their conflicts of newly found powers, and doesn't even have a kooky enough villain in Doom.
All around, it's a let-down, mostly as one looking at the writing, which I almost feel a little sorry for (the writers, I mean, not necessarily the script as it appears in the final product), and the filmmakers don't seem to know that it lacks the dimension in character or the punch in action and visual splendor to even sit in the same crowd as a Spiderman or Batman movie.