Fast and Loose (Ageism SHOULD be a factor to human rights)

Rating: Null/10 (1 February 2006)

The Fantastic Four all work in a factory producing ready meal jambalaya under the management of Doom (Julian McMahon) the man who not only invented Theme Hospital but lived it too. The recipe is the best tasting on the market but enjoying power, Doom employs four assorted misfits to bring down the master chef. Sue Storm (Jessica Alba) once kiddie fiddled one too many cub scouts of America and enjoys adding extra paprika to the food. Reed Richards (Ioan Grufford) skimmed a fair percentage of profit from company's he's worked for in the past and now marinades a couple of his own peppers in expensive perfume each week with the money he extorted. Johnny Storm (Chris Evans) was coerced into sleeping with a Thai prostitute whilst serving in the armed forces then murdered someone because they laughed at the fact it was a bloke. He now repeats desultory Buddhist chants whilst preparing the food but still wonders their real meaning. Ben Grimm (Michael Chiklis) is your atypical American, blaming the fact he is balding and overweight on the spliff he smoked when in his youth. He is now on a number of antidepressants and in love with the factory secretary who thinks the only thing wrong with her is the fact that she has a photographic memory.