Too many characters, not enough exploration

Rating: Null/10 (21 April 2006)

I debated on whether or not I should review Fantastic Four. The film managed to convince me that the movie was not made for people like me  people who don't read comic books and have only basic comic book trivia 101 walking into the theater. I knew of all four powers, I knew of all four characters, and I even knew about Doctor Doom. The film didn't bother enlightening me beyond what I already knew.
The film is busy associated names to faces to their respective powers, but I never learned who these people are. I felt like the filmmakers decided to make the comic books an integral crutch to the viewing experience  if you want to enjoy Fantastic Four, go pick up some comic books so the characters actually have personalities, histories, and development. The movie flirts with the idea of character exploration and character motives almost as if it's nodding to the comic-book enlightened crowd, and then it goes on with condensed and abridged story line of the Four's first adventure.
So while the film managed to turn off my interest in the plot, in the characters, it actually did provoke my sense of curiosity  did the fans feel like they had a movie made for them? A movie that other people can get and understand, but not become absorbed in? Or did this cinematic Fantastic Four offend the hardcore fans who know every frame of the original comics? Were the Fantastic Four accurately represented on the screen? Did the movie offend the hardcore fans?
In the film's defense, perhaps it tried juggling far too many tangents with its limited amount of screen time. The film obviously features not one, but four main characters who must get an introduction, juxtaposed to the scene where they all get their powers (mercifully, all four are mutated at the same time), juxtaposed to the scenes (yes, plural) where all four explore their newfound powers, juxtaposed to the scene where all four really use their powers  when everything is said and done, the film is cutting left and right from one character to another, frantically trying to get the story of all four superheroes to its audience, but it's too much.
Fantastic Four can't keep up with all four characters, it can't fill the scenes with the necessary energy to keep them moving and interesting, and it fails. Take for example the scene were Johnny the human torch learns about his new ability to spontaneously combust while skiing, and the scene drones on with the enthusiasm of an accountant. The scene feels obligatory, shot straight out of the textbook "how to shoot a revelation of an unnatural phenomena." Cue his obliviousness, cue his date to look over and see the flames, cue his tragic fall that conveniently allows him to exhibit his newborn power to fly. Yawn and cut.
But what about the guy behind this super power? How does he feel about being able to light himself on fire without hurting himself? The film skips the confusion of how he defied the fundamental laws of physics, it skips the potential fear or concern that he's losing his mind (which probably strike most human beings before accepting they had super powers), and it jumps right to his excitement as he doesn't bother to get dressed before sharing his new find with the others. And you know what? That by itself  that one single tangent  it doesn't bother me! I'm fine with it. Sure, they didn't have to show Johnny going through a number of psychological phases to develop his character and accept what he's becoming. I understand that.
The problem is the sheer volume of similar incidents where the movie simply skips over the characters growing into their powers and the people they are destined to become. The problem isn't the one example that I've presented, the problem is the film provides 100 minutes worth of examples that I can present at the drop of a hat.
Poor Ben Grimm  he really is the outcast. He's the only one who gets to realistically deal with the hand fate decided to deal him. But once again, the film delivers it more out of obligation than a passion for his story. The energy needed to sell the scenes have (by this time) abandoned the images on the screen. The narrative just passively states, "Oh yeah, by the way, the Thing's love interest abandons him." The film doesn't feel complete  it feels like its missing a key ingredient to its story. Maybe the viewer who stayed up many a nights reading to see if the Fantastic Four would pull through the latest issue have a more intimate understand of who these characters are supposed to be at heart. And maybe that viewer will find satisfaction at their live action counterparts on the screen. As I said in the opening paragraph, I don't know.
To a non-fan, the movie doesn't seem to care to open up the world of the Fantastic Four.