Thanks for ruining a dream from my youth...aka Hollywood schlock.

Rating: 3/10 (11 September 2006)

I remember fondly my love of Fantastic Four as a boy in the 1970s. I remember writing in my journals as a teenager in the 80s that a film about the Human Torch could have a heart- rending 'Edward Scissorhands' humanity, and be Miltonesque in its cinematic sweep involving an almost fallen angel type character. Fire is archetypal, after all.
Well, I just watched "Fantastic Four" in HD over the weekend and it was not archetypal, it was abysmal. The only decent thing in the whole film was the Thing and the choice to put a good actor in makeup/prosthetics to bring that character to life. Everything else, from 1) poor casting of other roles: i.e. the cheesy Californication of the Torch and lame teen "rock" tracks, to a plastic Dr. Doom, to Alba as a mysteriously blond yet Latin Invisible Girl; to 2) the uneven effects work, especially the 'Poser model on fire (with HAIR!)' that served as the Human Torch. Only the Thing impacting the truck was super solid and felt 'believable'; to 3) the laughable excuse for a script/story. So many plot holes, lame coincidences, lame lines...so little drama, so little character development, so little ANYTHING worth watching. Did they use a computerized Mad Lib to auto-generate the shooting script or what?
I never write comments on films at IMDb, but the fact that this film was so bad and cost so much, and that the studio is going to make another one and probably ruin another childhood hero that should be treated w/ style and substance, "Silver Surfer", made me act.
There is NO reason films that are given these kinds of budgets and have so much potential have to be so damn bad. Obviously, talentless money-men are making the decisions, aiming for formula and the lowest common denominator. Shame on you all...