Are you kidding me?

Rating: 1/10 (10 September 2006)

I don't usually take too much time on a film that I had rated with one star. So, this should be quick.
I read a few reviews and see that some of the film's fans feel that it shouldn't be taken seriously because it's a comic book film that don't take itself serious. Granted, that is the case. I realized that after seeing the Brooklyn Bridge scene. Doesn't mean such a bail out disguised as a lame excuse such as this should be given to a Hollywood production. They have more than enough necessary resources to make better films. That excuse doesn't have any validity with a true film goer like myself. This is probably the worse film of 2005, definitely the worst comic book film of all time.
Some people compliment the acting. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Alba along with the rest of the Fantastic Four should have been called the "OVER THE TOP POP TARTS" instead. I think it could have been better with a stronger script and a better director. The bad acting, executing awful dialogue, prevented me from believing in the world of the story. Maybe it is suppose to be a fun comic book film, but that would never work if the individual viewer can't look past the campy acting.
Some people make an excuse for the writing. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? With all the writers, all they can deliver is this steaming pile? I'm surprised the studio actually thought that this script worked. It would have been slung over my shoulder, hitting the trash with the quickness. BULLSEYE! The dialogue was so on the nose. Their efforts to be funny failed every time. I hated seeing how immature the characters were behaving when they were discovering their powers, which slowed the pace of the film for me. They were bickering like the siblings of "The Incredibles (a vastly superior super hero film than this turd)." Weren't these grown, educated people? I'm sorry fans. Get over it. This script doesn't work... at all.
Some complimented the directing. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I mentioned the acting before. Oops... (chuckling)His bad. Not as bad as the amateurish camera work along with the poor staging of actors and extras he worked so hard to execute (Story). I didn't believe the swarm of bystanders standing around looking googly-eyed at the extraordinary things that was happening around them by the Four. The media covering the great feats played as false to me. It all felt so... fraudulent and hokey. Tim Story? Your last name doesn't compliment your abilities as a storyteller. Go back to film school.
The art production sucked eggs as well. The colors were too solid. Could have benefited from the film's colors being desaturated a little. This isn't really relevant but it was just one of all the things that troubled me about this film. The whole look didn't work.
Lastly, some of these novice film-goers loved the special effects. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! The special effects took the film down from a two to a one for me. I hated the scene where they first were given their powers. That looked like some cheesy video game with sub-par CGIs. The best effects I had seen in this film was when the fire truck came crashing through the side of the Brooklyn Bridge. That little moment made me appreciate what I was watching for that one minute out of the film's one hundred minutes.
Also, that whole thing between THING and Kerry Washington was so stupid, clichéd and predictable that I couldn't stop throwing up.
Bottom line, I'm not giving this film an excuse just because it wasn't taking itself seriously. That's a cop-out. They could've made a better film. They were just lazy. I am too through...