It's slobberin' time!

Rating: 4/10 (24 July 2005)

Yes, slobbering. That's what you'll be doing at the back of the theater, your head slumped, your tongue hanging out, as you watch this week's Marvel-comic-book movie, "Fantastic Four." FF was my favorite comic book back when I was a wee lad. These were Stan Lee's original superheroes with "feet of clay" (even before Spider-man). But the real heart of the comic was the Thing (Ben Grimm)--the big, tough wise guy with the big broken heart. And he is the one thing the movie got right--Michael Chiklis (and the impressive make up) capture the Thing perfectly.
Unfortunately there are three other team members, who need to be "developed": Reed Richards (Mr. Fantastic), Sue Storm (the Invisible Girl, er, Woman), and Johnny Storm (the Human Torch). Ah, for the old comic-book origin story, where the four are shot up into space, are exposed to "cosmic rays," crash back to earth, and immediately start manifesting their super powers. Before you know it, they're fighting the Mole Man (and sometimes each other).
If only the movie had used such shorthand. Instead, well over half the flick is "family" bickering as the Four discover their abilities--and the origin of Dr. Doom (their greatest enemy) is outlined.
Doom is the movie's most serious misstep. In the comic books, Doom was a scientist who falls from the "pure faith" (yes, "he tampered in God's domain," to lift a bit from Ed Wood's "Bride of the Monster"). He had a regalness and grandeur about him, even as he tried to destroy the FF and take over the world (the perfect opposite of Reed). In the movie, Doom is another tiresome industrialist who (ala Norman "Green Goblin" Osborn) obtains super powers. His showdown with the FF at the end is somewhat less than epic (and the climax rips off a bit of "Terminator 2").
The whole movie feels as though they shot a first-draft script (characters fairly trip over the loose ends, and Reed is about as much of a super genius as Wile E. Coyote). But there is the occasional chuckle, usually thanks to Bashful Benjy Grimm.