Disappointing superhero bore

Rating: Null/10 (19 December 2012)

This movie is one of the prime examples of how not to make a superhero movie. This was one of the first modern age films based on comic book superheroes, especially the ones from the Marvel universe. But let's look at the films that came before this one. Blade films had featured a dark, Gothic style and intense, bloody action scenes with a troubled antihero as the protagonist. The X-Men films were more colourful and suited for younger audiences, but even they dealt with topics such as discrimination and the dangers of having supernatural powers at your disposal. Did Fantastic Four try to replicate these feats? No, instead it tried to be as kid-friendly as possible. Because of this the action scenes have no power behind them, the characters are about as black and white as they come and the whole film is awash with bright colours and shiny gizmos.
Not that there's anything wrong with making a kid-friendly action/adventure film, but even such a film needs to have decent characters and a good storyline. Kids aren't stupid and they deserve better stories than this. And I even think that the story isn't the biggest problem here, even though it ends up being nothing more than a grudge fight between to egoistical scientists. Rather the characters and their actors are at fault here. Reed Richards (Ioan Gruffudd) is a boring genius with no backbone. Susan Strom (Jessica Alba) looks amazing, but has no real characteristics, ending up being just the token chick of the group. Johnny Storm (Chris Evans) is a clichéd whiner. And lastly Victor von Doom (Julian McMahon) is one those stereotypical "must get back at my school rival, even though I'm one of the most powerful and richest men in the world and he's just a failed patent inventor" type of guys. The only character that might be called a good one is Ben Grimm (Michael Chiklis), perhaps because he actually faces a real personal dilemma, his problems have strength and soul behind them, thus making him sympathetic and relatable.
And as stated, the story isn't anything special either. It amounts to nothing more than a petty rivalry between von Doom and Richards, which isn't all that exciting really, because there are no stages at play. Nothing substantial is threatened and because most of the protagonist are so boring, you don't really care whether they triumph or not. Sometimes in these cases a good villain might make the movie entertaining - rooting for the Galactic Empire and all that - but in this case that doesn't apply either.
The film has some saving graces. Ben Grimm is surprisingly good character, as stated, and I actually liked the little subplot dealing with his love life as well. Plus the action, while pretty meaningless, is at least enjoyable to watch visually and the special effects in general aren't half bad, even by today's standards. They look fake nowadays, but in this regard the bright comic book style actually works for the movie's favour.
So, my final verdict is that this is a pretty weak superhero film. It made some pretty lazy decisions in regards to the storyline and the visual style, plus its characters are not all that interesting. But it's bright and pretty and you might enjoy it if you're looking to turn off your brain and relax for an hour or two. It's not the worst superhero film I've ever seen, but it's way below average and I wouldn't recommend it.