A huge disappointment unless this is the first movie you watch. Ever.

Rating: 2/10 (10 August 2005)

The reason that I just had to write my own review was all these 10 star reviews that plague the comments area, leading the unsuspected viewer to think that this is a new movies classic, able to surpass the Godfather or Ran. If you are a teen who thinks that Dumb and Dumber 2 had an interesting plot and Jessica Alba and Julian McMahon are enough to make you pay a ticket for this movie, then you might actually enjoy this. Being a FF and comic heroes/scifi fan in general, I joined the rest of the herd into the cinema to see one of the worst, if not THE worst movie with the "Marvel Comics" logo showing at the beginning of it. The plot has more holes than swiss cheese. The jokes are boring and are thrown to our faces way too often just in case you missed them the previous 20 times they were used. Yes Torch boy, you're hot, we get it, ha ha. The Thing carries the burden of a comic relief and you find yourself laughing at a slapstick comedy, only that the Three Stooges did it much better.
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I mean seriously, let's just think of the scene at the bridge. Everyone just happened to be on that bridge at the same time. Thing's mates were there just when he needed them and guess what, his wife too! How convenient. One would believe that everyone lives and works at the bridge. The firemen acted like stupid rag dolls and when the firetruck was hanging on the edge of the bridge, everyone rushed towards the wrong part, probably thinking "the weird rock-skin fella will save us". And the stupidity just went on. "Become invisible and go help him.". A few moments later our heroes find themselves close to him. "It's a good think you became invisible and we got here". So, in a nutshell, she became invisible, pushed aside a couple of cops saying "coming through, excuse me", they all walked there and she became visible again. Yyyyeah. The story between Reed and Sue is cheesy, boring and half the movie revolves around it. It's like a soap opera with a really weird couple. Johnny is a silly guy who's on a quest to become famous the easy way and he's a character that no one really cares about. His ability to imitate a match is an endless source of supposedly funny lines repeated every now and than, like "- You're on fire. - I know. - No, you're actually on fire." Ha ha ha. But the quality humor continues. Ben's story line could be interesting but after 40 seconds of dealing with the love of his life, it's all reduced to 30 (at least) unoriginal and predictable jokes about him being too heavy and too strong. Dr.Doom is no better than the rest of the bunch. He becomes evil just because it's in the script. He loses his job, a few hair, gets a scar, superhuman strength and he decides that it's time to conquer the world using his secret weapons, ultra boredom and super whining. I was expecting to see him in a handicap match versus Ben and Reed, with Sue cheering in a bikini and Johnny holding a chair, waiting for a chance to give a sneak hit with it, but no, they just had to go for a boring 4 minute fighting scene in the end which is less exciting than watching a couple of baboons sleeping at the zoo.
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There are probably a zillion movies that you haven't seen but you need to. This is not one of them, it's a complete waste of time. It's the best example of Hollywood exploiting an idea and actors favorite to teenagers to make money. On the bright side, there's no Justin Timberlake or Jessica Simpson in it, so it could be worst. Steer away at all costs. If I saved a single soul, then I didn't type this for nothing.