waste of time!

Rating: 4/10 (15 July 2005)

The recent outpouring of superhero movies has had its hits (Spiderman, X-men, The Incredibles...) and its misses (Electra, Catwoman...), but Hollywood fails to savor comic-book fan's prided foremost family of ab-normals: The Fantastic Four. Top reasons this film will not have any sequels (hopefully):

the villain: Or should I say "villian"? Audiences cannot manage to cheer for the heroes if the evil is not being evil. Doctor Doom left me wondering, "Huh?" It could have been the acting or it could have definitely been the story or maybe the plot, but the fact remains: no conflict!

The Invisible Woman: The special effects sucked and, yes, the dialog, too, but Sue Storm does not bring to mind smart, powerful women. Being the only female in the group and amazingly the middle of a cheesy love triangle, Ms. Storm represents only the nagging, bitchy trailer-trash mothers that are a part of the feminine population. Very disappointing. When is Hollywood going to get an admirable, awe-inspiring superwoman into the theaters? Here's hoping for Wonder Woman.

The Special Effects: Or lack of them. I get the feeling that the producers must have been running on a tight budget because I was watching Gumby with arm hair and a rendition of the early The Invisible Man. The Human Torch and The Thing were a little better than mediocre but I felt as if they were harnessing the glories of 21st century special effects. The entire movie slowly lead up to a poorly choreographed climax filled with cheesy, scientific ways the "fantasic" four try to defeat a bafflingly threatening(?) enemy.

There are at least ten other reasons this film fails to impress, but I must say I loved Johnny Storm and Ben Grim. I also loved the genuine puppy love Reed Richards has for Sue and there scenes together are cute and deserving of cotton candy romance stories. Chris Evans shines above all of "Fantastic Fours"'s shortcomings. Though the film strikes out, it may lead Fox to finally learn from its mistakes.
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