Go see Los Quattros Fantastico!!

Rating: 10/10 (10 July 2005)

I've heard a lot of crap being given to this movie. I've heard people say the following: "Oh, dude, in the spectrum of the most recent philosophical comic books films, this movie strives to be a contender against Batman Begins or the brilliantly crafted Spider-Man." I exaggerated a bit there, but you know this is what a bunch of people say in order to act like they don't enjoy relentless bad-ass action. Since when did a comic book movie HAVE to be about people who get powers and then get negatively affect by them? Is it such a stretch of the imagination that maybe if someone did get bad-ass super powers they wouldn't act like it's such a bad thing? Suddenly, every comic book movie has to be a deep drama about the human emotions. It's good sometimes when a comic book movie is deep, but come on, lets just blow s*** up. That's what Fantastic Four does. They blow s*** up, and it's damn entertaining.
Everyone already knows the story of the Fantastic Four, so who needs an explanation? The story is that while in space, five people get exposed to radiation or something, and they get cool superpowers. Ben Grimm turns into this weird, bulky rock-man. Johnny Storm can make fire, his sister Sue Storm can go invisible, Reed Richards can stretch any part of his body, and Victor Von Doom (a pretty bad-ass name right there) turns into metal and can control electricity. Von Doom wants to kill a lot of people, it's up to them to stop them, and you know the rest.
The movie is loaded with action. Cool, CGI filled action that'll make you crap your pants because of how cool it is. The movie starts off slow because they don't have any powers, but after the first 20 or so minutes, they get their powers, and that's when the movie gets bad-ass. There's one cool scene where Ben Grimm, The Thing, jumps in front of a semi and it crashed right into him. He stands there, completely still, while the semi truck is smashed up like a weak piece of paper! I thought to myself, very intensely I should add, "My Godhow can this get any cooler?" Then, stopping that semi triggers off a massive car pileup. A fire truck comes storming through, but loses control and comes close to falling off the bridge. The rest of the Fantastic Four appear, and each one of them saves someone. There's explosions everywhere, The Thing grabs the fire truck and pulls it back on the bridge, cars are flying everywhere, and my God. When I was watching this, it felt like I got roundhouse kicked in the face by a foot that had an orgasm on it. It was bad-ass.
You think it stops there? Hell no! After taking a needed break from the bad-ass action for a little bit, we get some character development and some comedy. The comedy was good, but when I saw this, the theater was packed with little kids who would watch the joke, laugh, and then verbally express the joke to themselves, so that kind of killed some of the comedy for me.
The movie doesn't really have what you would call "Good acting" from everybody. Jessica Alba can't act very good in here, but she's probably one of the hottest women on the planet, so who cares about acting? Michael Chiklis is cool as The Thing, Iaon Gruffudd's character isn't really cool, Chris Evans is cool as the Human Torch, and Julian McMahon is bad-ass as Dr. Doom.
The movie is loaded with CG. I've heard people complain, "The CG is cartoonist, at best, and it doesn't look very good." Forget what those people say, these special effects are cool. Cartoonish? It's a movie based off of a comic book, who gives a rat's ass if it's cartoonish looking? If it looks good in the movie, don't complain.
The movie comes to an end with a long, kick-ass climactic battle between the Fantastic Four and Dr. Doom. This battle is so bad-ass, I don't even want to describe it. Spoiling it would be a shame. All you need to know is that after watching the final battle, you'll feel like you need a cigarette.
This movie's cool. Batman Begins was one of the most bad-ass movies of this year, but if you want something that's not very serious and just cool and entertaining, watch this. The only thing it needed was, yes, you guessed it, GWAR tunes. Either way, though, it's bad-ass. The action is unrelenting, and the characters are cool. Who gives a damn about serious emotions anyway? Score: 10