The Four morph into a big fat bore

Rating: 3/10 (23 May 2007)

Remember the Four from comic books, and the cool powers they had? The only power exerted by this cast is as a tranquilizer to the audience.
Quite bad. A few scenes from other superhero movies are recycled, and poorly. No tension, drama, or even comedy, just some exaggerated CGI images. The group respond to their developing abilities like spoiled children throwing temper tantrums. They resent each other, then suddenly adapt to teamwork; who could have possibly seen that original plot device coming?
Apparently, the radiation that mutated their genes, not only gave them super powers, but also the acting talents of card board cut-outs. The guy playing Doom belongs in a "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" commercial. If he had more mousse in his hair, he'd catch on fire from spontaneous combustion. Speaking of which, the Human Torch guy is just plain irritating, and never shuts up. I kept hoping he'd fry his own mouth, but no such luck. Jessice Alba does no acting at all, just the inevitable "Invisible Girl re-materializing at an embarrassing moment" bit. The guy playing Mr. Fantastic tries, but the idiotic things they do with his character make him look more like a used wad of "Mr. Chewing Gum Stick." The only actor that succeeds is Michael Chiklis portraying Ben/ Thing's struggles with his freakish mutation. The sub plot with Ben and his wife is as close to a story as you'll get, but even that is thinly scripted.
The finale is so poorly executed you'd swear it must be intended as a parody, but even on that level, it fails. Pretty much like the whole movie.