"Fantastic Four" forgot the "Fantastic"

Rating: 2/10 (7 July 2005)

Let's get one thing straight. No matter how much the source material tells of a story about characters surviving with superpowers in the wide open public, society (especially the police) hate vigilante antes. If it was up to them, they'd let these show stoppers of the crime fighting type to go around a few times, solely to figure out what it is that makes them tick. They'd then capture them (already knowing their weaknesses, of course), get a bunch of scientists to study them, then finally charge them with whatever damages they've caused, regardless of what good they did.
It's this aspect of post-modern society that has been incorporated to most superhero films of late. Most superheroes must quickly leave after there job is done to ensure the feds don't come knocking (Spiderman, X-men), most are concealed too well in the darkness to ever be known as nothing more than a myth (Batman), others start off with the problems mentioned in paragraph one to begin with (The Incredibles), and others work their way up to be recognized as something of good (Batman, Superman).
It's this factor that is completely thrown out the window in "Fantastic Four." Here we have a bunch of researchers-cum-superheroes wanting to save the world, keep the world happy, show themselves off, and resolve personal problems all at the same time. In short, it's attempting to conquer what every other superhero film has in less than two hours.
The comic book could do this mix into perfection, making it the longest running of all Marvel creations. But the movie, headed by rather incapable director Tim "Babershop" Story, misses every aspect of the comic that inspired Stan Lee to keep on truckin' at Marvel.
The acting is reduced to nothing. At first, you'd think it's the fault of the actors, regarding the already bland performances given by Ioan Gruffand and Jessica Alba. Yet, when we begin to see Chris Evans and Julian McMahon trying hard to bring something in other than dry humor and clichéd action phrases, you see that the problem lies with the screenwriter, Micheal France.You can bet that instead of actually writing something, he took references from his past work on films such as "Goldeneye" and "Hulk," as well as from all the past Marvel movies.
The special effects are great and all, but it's all been done before. Every great achievement "Fantastic Four" has in CGI technology can be derived from Spiderman, Lord of the Rings, or any Disney/Pixar Film. What is worse is that in the middle of three complete CGI characters, The Thing is supposed to pass off as a piece of walking desert in a suit that less believable than most at Comic-Con. Take the only good page from "Batman and Robin," and do a mix of CGI and a prosthetic suit for your bulky characters.
Purists will probably be fuming from the head by now, yet there's bad new for you as well; comic to movie continuity is non-existent. As explained before, the original story that brought out a great family with fantastic powers (no pun intended), is made into another episode of the "Power Rangers." One big difference is Dr. Doom, now funding the four's project, is going out with Sue Storm, and instead of going ugly after a while with his powers, stays the same way (obviously for some more beauty shots of McMahon) and wears a metal mask for no reason.
I had the same feeling watching this film as I did watching "Rocky III." That is, the feeling of being only being slightly entertained, and noticing a formula wearing thin. The only upside is that it's a much lighter superhero flick than what has been offered in recent times. In theory, this should have been the film to take your kids to if you didn't want them to see the darkness of "Batman Begins." Yet, if you are wanting to see less violence after a rather large amount of "dark" summer blockbusters, rent "Superman" or Tim Burton's "Batman."