The Thing Rocks

Rating: 6/10 (1 February 2006)

'Fantastic Four' is a first-rate Marvel comic book crammed into a second-rate F/X movie. Director Tim Story doesn't do anything funky with the material (ordinary people turned into freaks after a cosmic mishap in space) and he's given us one of the lamest villains since 'Star Trek: Nemesis'. Maybe Victor Von Doom (Julian McMahon) is cool in print, but he blows violent chunks on the big screen. Super-stretchy Reed Richards and Sue Storm---also known as Mr. Fantastic and the Invisible Girl---are not any better. At least Sue's brother, Johnny Storm (aka the Human Torch), uses his newfound fame to get girls...and more fame. He's one of the rare superheroes who actually ENJOYS being a superhero.
I didn't have much use for Reed Richards or Sue Storm. It doesn't help that these soft-soap characters are played by a reliable bore (Ioan Gruffudd) and a marginally talented beauty (Jessica Alba). At least Johnny is refreshing in his youthful exuberance and arrogance, even if he's also a bit of a doofus. On the other hand, I couldn't get enough of Ben Grimm (Michael Chiklis), better known as the Thing. This one character nearly saves the whole movie. I liked him so much, I went right out and bought the action figure. Now the ugly rock man proudly sits on my bookcase alongside the Buddy Christ, Marv from 'Sin City', and Yogi Bear.
The Thing is the thinking man's Incredible Hulk. Chiklis works hard to show the heart under a mountain of rock. He makes the most of his cumbersome makeup. I actually some genuine emotion for him 2 or 3 times. First, when he was given a well-deserved ovation from the crowd after saving some firemen and their truck from going off a bridge. And then when he gets kicked to the curb by his terrified wife. And once again at the end of the movie when he proves he'll sacrifice anything for his friends. A real hero. It's true that as a comic-to-movie adaptation, 'Fantastic Four' is more like the "Fantastic 1 and a half". But the Thing rocks. I've got his action figure to prove it.