Bloated, boring and ugly to look at.

Rating: 4/10 (28 January 2017)

I'm perplexed by the glowing reviews for "Fantastic Beasts," as it seems to lack any of the wonder or warmth of the best of the "Harry Potter" movies. The titular beasts are not-so-fantastic, rather appearing as very garish, cartoonish CGI creations - instantly pulling us out of the film and its new world-building. Every set piece is just constructed with endless green screen and lazy computer effects. There's nothing exhilarating or awe-inspiring on display here - just one video game cut scene after another. (And I'm a video game fan, so I'm not belittling them; but the point is that as a movie with such an emphasis on visuals, there's nothing here that you haven't seen done much better, including on home gaming consoles.)
Eddie Redmayne, one of the most overracted actors alive, is woefully miscast as Newt. He takes scenery-chewing to Nic Cage levels, minus the fun. Every facial expression, every little tic, is so overly calculated and overly accentuated that it begins to evoke memories of Simple Jack from "Tropic Thunder."
Colin Farrell is stuck in another supporting role that doesn't play to his strengths, completely forgettable and generic. Ezra Miller seems to be in competition with Redmayne to see who can chew the most scenery - the kid is just awful. There's a not-so-secret cameo appearance that was announced before the movie hit theaters (ostensibly to counteract any potential fallout due to the actor's recent personal issues and allegations of doemstic abuse) - and this actor, who was once so talented, manages to ham it up even with just two pieces of dialogue, and leaves very little hope that he will be a menacing or charismatic villain in the (god help us) sequels to this movie.
There are numerous supporting actors who seem tonally and aesthetically wrong for the 1920s setting - the whole crew of wizards, for example, look like a bunch of Abercrombie models playing Prohibition dress-up. You know how the undercut haircuts are all the rage right now, loosely based on haircuts from that era but upgraded with the skin fading, etc. that barbers back then did not have the means to do? Well, that's pretty much how everyone looks in this movie. Even Colin Farrell is rocking a hipster undercut that just distracts.
Katherine Waterston is awesome. She looks the part, she puts Redmayne to shame as an actor, and she inspires a lot of faith for her role in "Alien: Covenant." She is the lone saving grace of this film.
It's a shame about the rest of the performances and the glaringly poor CGI special effects, because honestly, the other attention to detail paid to the city and its era is pretty impressive - there are lone shots in the movie, the ones mostly devoid of the miserable SF/X, that are quite impressive and lovely to look at. The costumes for average city folk (less so the wizards...) are lovingly fashioned. There are hints here of what a great film this might have been in the hands of a better director, someone who didn't make a film as bad as "The Legend of Tarzan," with a cast of actors who mostly aren't hamming it up and totally misfiring on every level.
Maybe the sequel will rectify these issues.