A failed historical fiction with absolutely no sense of history or intrigue *SPOILERS*

Rating: 1/10 (6 June 2018)

"Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them" takes the "Harry Potter" series in a new and exciting direction through its use of historical fiction.
The story takes place in New York after 1929. In the opening scene, our hero Newt finds out firsthand how difficult it is for immigrants to get through Ellis Island. Many from other parts of the world are turned away just for being seasick, or for the new quotas instituted by the government, as was really the case back then. Newt barely gets through the exhaustive inspection process, enduring many indignities before he finally reaches land. The event humbles the aristocratic magic user, but also focuses him on the task at hand.
The reason for this heightened security is a sense of paranoia in America stemming from the Great Depression and the Dust Bowl, both cataclysms blamed on witches and wizards hiding within the country. The misery suffered by unemployed Americans standing in bread lines helps fuel the anti-magic movement, known as the Ku Klux Klan, into a furor. The biggest moment came before Newt's arrival, when a mysterious person revealed to the newspapers that wizards and witches live in opulent hideouts, resembling speak-easys of the ongoing Prohibition. Word of a grand conspiracy is afoot.
Newt is on a mission to heal this divide and expose the true terror behind what's been happening in America. He knows the villainous Grindelwald is on the loose, that it was he who leaked the existence of magic to the American muggles, sparking the anti-magic Klan movement. With the humans distracted, Grindelwald wreaked magical havoc on the stock market, leaving the muggles frightened and subservient. Then he teleported to the Midwest, infecting the soil with his dark magic until it blew into choking clouds of dust.
Newt has traveled to America as he has learned of Grindelwald's third and most ambitious plan yet. A plan to help the fledgling Nazi party through their fascination with the occult. Though he's uncertain if he's up to the task, Newt has brought with him a suitcase filled with magical creatures in hopes that they can help him stop Grindelwald. He finds a small group of rebel magic-users who he hopes will stop this villainous plan before it's too late.
No.
No, wait.
I'm sorry, none of that happened.
"Fantastic Beasts" is a completely squandered opportunity. Despite being a period piece, it has no sense of history and uses the time period as little more than an opportunity to let its characters wear period clothes. The film takes pains to tell you it's taking place during the mid-1920s - before the Depression - and though the twenties are still "roaring," everything looks drab and dull as if the Depression had, in fact, happened. This decision has long-reaching consequences as it prevents the film from being historical fiction.
There is an Ellis Island scene, but again, nothing is done with it. Newt breezes through the checkpoints with virtually no incident. The film also made clear that Newt wasn't an immigrant, but someone who's simply visiting, further preventing this scene from being used to its fullest potential.
There is an anti-magic movement in the film, but there's no reason for it to exist. The "roaring twenties" were a time of carefree excess, a time where the U.S. economy was booming after World War I. There's no crisis known to the humans that justifies such a movement taking place, as the Depression, the Dust Bowl, or even the rise of the Nazi party could have.
Grindelwald is in this film, too, but isn't even revealed until the very end of the film. His nebulous presence is used in place of any real-life historical events, and is thus much harder to understand. Having seen the trailer for the sequel, it's clear this was done merely to keep this going as a series, which was to the complete detriment of this first installment.
In short, this is what happens when a British person tries to understand American history or American culture. Just like John Oliver has before, J.K. Rowling failed.
I'd have less of an issue with these decisions if the film had something much more interesting waiting on the other side. Unfortunately, there isn't. The entire film is very drab, dull, and slow-paced. The characters with the single exception of Jacob Kowalski (played by Don Fogler) remind me of the Jedi from "The Phantom Menace" - they act without passion and act a little too secretive, concealing their motivations from the audience. Only Kowalski's story is relatable as the "everyman," but even then it's uncomfortable watching him be manipulated by the female love interest pretending to like him.
The result was quite possibly the most boring film I've ever seen. Longest two hours I've spent in a theater. What a waste.