Well...that was disappointing

Rating: 3/10 (23 April 2017)

Let me start out with why I was really excited about this film: I am in some ways Eddie Redmaynes character. In fact, I watched to film on a plane back from researching wild animals in Africa, so you can imagine the idea of (finally) getting to see all those amazing magical creatures of the HP universe on the big screen was quite something to look forward to for me. why didn't I go see it in theaters you might ask? well because the trailer already showed that it didn't have much to do with the title in my opinion. the idea of these animals in the most bleak New York I have ever seen instead of the lush green grounds of hogwarts (not that it had to be hogwarts, but green) was not very enticing, but on the plane, I decided to watch it none the less.
So here goes: Eddie Redmayne is a good actor, we have had proof of that, and while he has done some truly terrible work too (Jupiter Ascending), I did not mind his acting here at all, only that it was a terrible character. Sure the: animals over humans mentality is to be expected, and quirky is an ever present character trait in JK's work....but a straight up "shut in" who never once makes eye contact with his partners in crime, but is somehow expected to build relationships with them? yeah....not someone I would choose as a main character. Not to mention that, for all those who are familiar with Doctor Who....his entire character is almost an exact copy of Matt Smiths version of the British doctor. Has an unexpected "hideaway" that is larger on the inside....bowties, over large shoes, and just a weirdness about him, that, if his passion shows makes him very endearing....only that that passion only appears two times in the whole movie. Really not happy about this (and MS is my favorite doctor)
about the rest? yeah so I am sure there were more colors than grey in old NY....also I doubt everything and everyone looked that clean and neat. A problem you often get in old representations of NY, like in King Kong, and even the final scene in Sleepy Hollow....but that does not make it excusable! it makes the animals seems even more out of place than they already are, and adds no interesting setting for any of the story. a large winged snake in a dark attic just isn't as fascinating as it would be in a tropical forrest! The Animals as a whole were a disappointment. lazy copies of existing and slightly changed real creatures most of the time, with no explanation or sometimes even the name. the ones in focus for the character even have very little appeal to them. a kleptomaniac echidna, and a wird reptile-bird that is almost a deus ex machina (even more than the deus ex machina that frank becomes in the end, if you want to find a cool way to obliviate NY in one go...ask MIB2, they did it right). overall, as a researcher of animals, I found it heart breaking that once again, the animals were only a "entertaining" side note" in a movie that supposedly dealt with them.
Which brings me to the plot (for anyone who is still reading). Would it have been so hard to make one of the escaped creatures the thing that Grindelwald wants to use against...well....we don't know against whom. We know very little about his interests from the last few HP books, and this film does nothing to tell us more. The actual idea of the dark power within a suppressed wizard could have made a great stand alone film...but sadly it was the main idea in a film that was supposed to focus on something else.
and since this is getting a bit long, let me (only) mention two more things about this film: the wizard government of America might be the only one that is worse than the actual government we currently see over there....seriously...incompetent, violent, and....just just awful!!! and last but not least, the biggest sore on the ass that was this movie: Johnny F*cking DEPP!!! believe it or not...but I found Colin Farrel to be perfectly cast as a disguised Grindelwald....but oh man what a waste. not only do we know nothing about his characters motivations other than: power and destruction....but sacrificing any information for the "shocking" reveal in the end is ruined by A) the strong emphasis on Grindelwald during the intro means he has to appear somewhere B) Colin was the only villain, so of course it was him C) if you show the back of the head of the secret villain in the first scene....don't follow with the back of the head of the villain in disguise with THE EXACT SAME HAIRCUT!!! was I the only one who found that very obvious? and D) (felt like the movie giving me the D here)....Johnny Depp is the worst choice possible. an actor once hailed as great on a steady decline into ridiculousness. any movie loses all credibility in my head nowadays for casting him....and this one is no exception. more so since it tries to make it the "twist we all wanted" that we really didn't. sad to no longer see colin in this project, who knows, he might have saved it.