This truly bites hard

Rating: 2/10 (7 July 2007)

This movies commits every "sin" that can be done to a film based on a "comic book." It's the "comic" part that confuses film people.
Campy humor and self aware parody are just sad when the original stories didn't have any of this. Its like the writers are embarrassed to be working on a movie based on a "comic" and so they have to stick in the snickering crap so that everybody realizes that the writers "know." This one doesn't go as far as the old TV version of Batman, (BIFF-POW) but still cheapens the story with too much juvenile fluff.
Why rework the characters and give them different personalities rather than use what has been developed for so many years? Why not cast people that resemble the characters? Jessica Alba is very tasty but her complexion is too dark to make sense as a blond, and her "brother Johnny" has an entirely different coloring. Alba looks oddly enough, like a Latina with a bleach job. The Storms are both blonds, cast two blonds & be done with it. Or in the name of PC diversity, make both Storms Latino, but pulease don't mix em...
The "Thing" is all rubber, so there is no reason why he doesn't look like the original Thing. Seems like Stan Lee has been distancing himself from Jack Kirby since Jack died... The look of the originals are indebted to Kirby and I think Stan wants to gloss over that fact & take all of the credit.
Why essentially dump Galactus, and insert Dr. Doom without his characteristic man/machine look? Why is Doom even in this???
The story of the Silver Surfer & Galactus is awesome in the classic use of the word and intense of a grand scale. Why rewrite that story & downplay the most visually impressive elements? Simplify the story sure, but why turn Galactus into an amorphous cloud? ? ? A little filmic license is to be expected, but when you remove the elements that could have made a bigger, better movie, and replace them with funny business, and weak cgi - the you end up with tripe like this stinker.
A not so Fantastic Four...