Sequel Squanders

Rating: 2/10 (13 June 2007)

Reviewed by Sarhan "Tsar" Rashid
There are few marketing departments in the world which can convincingly fool their target demographic. Fortunately for 20th Century Fox, they have one of best.
Which would explain the positive buzz surrounding "Fantastic Four: The Rise of The Silver Surfer". So far the ads have sold the movie as a triumph over its predecessor. It must help to have Rupert Murdoch's numerous media outlets brainwashing the public with talk of a better script and a bigger budget. None of which appears to be true.
They've also again managed to stir some controversy to raise curiosity amongst the core fan base (i.e. comic book aficionados).
The first movie succeeded not because of the carefully orchestrated media blitz but because at its heart it was a simple, old-fashioned comic book romp. It had a decent cast, a focused storyline and origin stories are mostly always fun.
The sequel gets it all wrong by padding scene-after-scene of repetitious exposition, poorly conceived drama and bland set pieces which only end up testing the viewers' patience. It's amazing how lengthy and pointless its short 92 minute running time feels. The proceedings never manage to engage the viewers. Even the Silver Surfer, under the direction of the visually lacking Tim Story, is realised as a flat one-dimensional hero.
The cast must've been chasing a quick paycheck because they all look bored exchanging quips and cheesy lines littered with unreal sci-fi more fitting for an episode of "Star Trek". The comic interplay between these characters in the comic books has helped set them apart from their angst ridden counterparts. Here they decide to ham it up and play it broad.
A special mention though must go out to one cast member. Jessica Alba. Her sugar coated smile, sun-kissed skin tone and perfect figure would be enough to keep my heterosexual eyes glued to the screen but she failed at even managing that. It was a good call to keep her in the background for much of the first films duration but here, where she's front-and-centre, it exposes how wooden her "acting" truly is. Was it so difficult to find a hot Caucasian actress with blue eyes and at least moderate acting chops to play the quintessential American sweetheart Sue Storm? Dolling Alba up in a blonde wig and obvious contacts has to be one of the worst ideas in casting history. And is it just me or does she share a better chemistry with Chris Evans (Johnny Storm, her movie brother!) than with Ioan Grufford (Dr. Reed Richards, her movie fiancé!)?
Sorry to be so hard on Alba. Like I said can't blame her for chasing a quick paycheck.
I doubt fans of the genre will be as gullible to trust the next such product Fox unleashes upon them. For that matter moviegoers in general might just start staying away from any comic book property Fox decides to butcher.