Simpering, vacuous cliché-fest. Best watched with bemused incredulity. Or when very drunk.

Rating: 1/10 (15 October 2007)

Well this was truly dreadful. Starting with the positive, the VFX were of average standard, and imaginatively realised in places. The score created the brief moments of atmosphere there were. But there is no rescuing this horribly over-sentimental and (surely?) badly adapted film.
I had always thought Ioan Gruffudd a reasonable actor from his several appearances in British drama, but I stand corrected by his god-awful performance here. However, standing as it does next to the feeble acting abilities of the other leads, it sets a standards you wish the others would aspire to.
Alas, they don't. They are not helped, of course, by the revoltingly clichéd screenplay, with its ham-fisted wise-cracking 'humour' (provided mostly, and relentlessly, by the daft rock-based thing), and the constant preaching of all-American family values. Then there is the absence of any coherent story, riddled as it is with numerous plot-holes, inconsistencies, and characters being SO stereotyped (Army general, anyone?)that one can only laugh at the seriousness with which they woodenly phone in their hackneyed and predictable dialogue. It really is painful to watch in places.
And deeply, though unintentionally funny in others. The ridiculously named villain, 'Victor Von Doom' hands in a performance that is as threatening and intimidating as a tossed salad, and every line he perfunctorily regurgitates raises a smile for all the wrong reasons. I might venture that he 'just looks a tit'.
This is a horrible film in almost every way. I could tell you the plot, but it's rubbish, so I won't waste your time. I haven't read the comic, and almost certainly won't if this was anything approaching an accurate testament to it. I sincerely hope it wasn't, and that comic fans feel equally let down.
The VFX team and the composer should leave the room and head for the pub, feeling, I'd hope, that they have contributed the only redeeming features of this unrewarding film, but everyone else involved should hang their heads in shame, and aim to do better next time.