Fantastic Foursome: The Attack of the Capri Sun Guy

Rating: 4/10 (28 June 2007)

F4: RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER (IOAN GRUFFORD, JESSICA ALBA, CHRIS EVANS, MICHAEL CHIKLIS) DIRECTED BY: TIM STORY ~ THE RUNDOWN: The drama doesn't penetrate and most will not be entertained by this exercise of cheesiness. ~ Only a moron or a comic book fan (same thing) would expect greatness from a movie called "Rise of the Silver Surfer"; however, you do expect action, something the writers apparently thought unnecessary here. And, seriously, most ten-year-olds would find this sh-t corny; the jokes are usually pathetic, the script is totally generic and unaffecting... and Jessica's fine bod: wrapped like a mummy. It's true, the concept of a silver pansy that flies around on a surfboard killing billions drew me into the theater, but he just wasn't enough. There's nothing appealing about these family-friendly flamers or their movies...and they can't act for sh-t. ~ Both Marvel and 20th Century Fox should ashamed for completely bum-fkkkking people with this lighthearted grade-B superhero bull. Hell, at least its short; I'd rather see 90 minutes of sh-t in a diving suit than the 140 minutes of sh-t in a red cape that the Superman sequel will amount to.