fantastic bore

Rating: 3/10 (20 June 2007)

"Fantastic Four" is perhaps the worst of all the generally disappointing Marvel comics adaptations, even the worthless "Daredevil". The problem is in everything--the banal cast, the hammy acting, the insipid melodrama, the suspense-less plot, the inane subplots, the dorky storytelling style, the unimaginative action scenes, the lackluster special effects...
The movie is too little-kid-oriented, and will likely not entertain anyone with teenage-and- above sensibilities. The only saving grace, honestly, is that Jessica Alba is hot. And even that is not true in this movie, wherein she wears creepy blue contact lenses and appears anorexic. She literally looks like a Barbie doll, and her character is about as boring.
Oh yeah, the Silver Surfer is a character in this movie. The CGI animators only gave him one expression--inscrutable--which made him look like he was constantly bored...but perhaps I was just projecting.