The Fantastic Four franchise is effectively dead

Rating: 3/10 (17 June 2007)

(Warning: Spoilers abound.)
I went into this as a childhood fan of F4 and a major post-Satriani fan of Surfy... and by midway I was thoroughly disgusted.
The Silver Surfer is a character ripe for the...silver screen, but in F4 II he's little more than a nifty prop. His total number of lines here is around 12 and he does little more than make a few brief cameos before he self-destructs. So much for the original "exile to Earth" storyline, and obviously for Surfy's future presence in this franchise. What a colossal waste.
As others have pointed out, the CGI rendering of the Surfer was unimaginative and wooden. When I think of this film's treatment, then recall in my mind's eye what the great Moebius did with such spare, understated artistry in "Parable," it makes me want to make loud noises and break things. How is it that simple pen-and-ink drawings can convey more grace, fluidity of motion, and intensity of action than a state-of-the-art motion picture? Amazing.
The rest of this film is an absolute mess, a combination of: tired and mind-numbingly-boring infighting among the Four; an endless stream of cheap one-liners that are astonishing in their stupidity even by one-liner standards; a couple of unintentionally-comedic left wing political potshots the juvenile writers just couldn't help themselves from throwing in; several maddening contradictions of aspects of the Four's "powers" as spelled out in the first film; capped off with an extended and laughably-implausible Dodge Ram ad (American automakers can't even do cars that run on the ground, let alone Jetsonian hovercars.)
So with the virtual certainty that another of these is in the works as I write this, I'm wondering where, exactly, this inept Story/Payne/Frost crew will go with the next F4. Two new hours of "Johnny, you must stop being so irresponsible and 'narcissistic!'" and "Reed, all you care about are your geeky gadgets!" and "OK, that hurt?"
The trouble with superhero flicks is that the best story is the one where the characters first discover their powers, and that was done - somewhat better - in the first film. To continue beyond that requires intelligence and integrity among the writers and directors. So far Batman (excepting the dismal "Batman Returns" and the truly horrid "Batman and Robin,") is alone among superhero film franchises in sustaining itself with good writing and direction. F4 is apparently doomed to remain a schlocky grab-bag of blatant in-film product advertising and slick but wasted visual effects, tacked onto writing, direction and acting with all the depth and subtlety of a high school play.
Stan Lee, both in endorsing and appearing in this mess, has apparently lost the ability to take himself seriously. Maybe he, Story, Payne and Frost could be ejected for a team of Frank Miller, Moebius, and perhaps Spiderman co-creator Steve Ditko, to turn Fantastic Four into something that looks like it was produced by responsible adults. Maybe I'm dreaming.
Surfy deserves a separate franchise of his own, but it would have to be full-blown Sci-fi along the lines of Lucas and Whedon, and of course it would require writers at above Junior High School level.
The only thing that kept me sitting through the mess that is "Rise (and Abrupt Fall) of the Silver Surfer" to the bitter end, was a combination of hope that the story would suddenly get better and the need to finish the humongous $6 tub of popcorn I sprung for.
'Guess I need to get a better breakfast strategy...