can I get my money back?

Rating: 1/10 (12 October 2003)

What a terrible film, what a waste of time. I'm sorry, but there is only so much I can take and I must speak out. Yes, I am aware that it is Kubric, but need I remind everybody that he did die before the end of making this film, and indeed, it shows. The editing is dreadful: it was far too long; they were overindulgent in scene and shot lengths. And while the sets are lavish and the lighting beautiful it does not make up for a POINTLESS script. It is a hollow shell of a film, a pretty facade, but scrape past that and you will reveal a void of superficial characterisation, trite dialogue, SHOCKINGLY BAD musical score (c'mon.1 note??), with an inane plot.
There is no plot, and the insipid characterisation is only made worse by the shockingly bad acting (I'm sorry, was Kidman laughing or crying???). I am aware that a good use of the pause can add an element of drama to another wise dull dialogue, but adding it after EVERY WORD makes it boring to watch, and it only resulted in a pathetic attempt to add depth to two shallow characters. The character's adversity is banal, and it is extremely difficult to muster any concern for anything that befalls them.
I am also aware that the film won much acclaim, but I feel that this is misguided plaudit from blinded fans of Kubric. This is a rotten film, and Kubric fans would be best looking at his better work rather than remembering him for this banal crap. People put too much emphasis on visuals, forgetting there is supposed to be a point, (remember that thing called the narrative). This is hardly cinema de look, and even `The Big Blue' had a better plot!
If you have not seen this yet, then you are lucky (in more ways than one) as you are obviously not a die-hard disciple of Kubric, and are therefore not vulnerable to liking a TERRIBLE film. I feel quite safe in saying that you too, will loathe this film. Do not waste your time.
1/10 (an award I do not bestow often)
PS: If you are still gripped with the desire to see this film I recommend watching it in fast forward, you'll adequately get the gist and if you do this with a DVD player you can listen to the dialogue at the pace that most humans speak at.