Sadly overrated tripe

Rating: 4/10 (15 March 2000)

I cannot understand for the life of me the critics heaping praises on a film called Eyes Wide Shut. I suspect the critics who gave a film the utmost positive reviews did so out of respect for its dead co-writer and director Stanley Kubrick.
Eyes Wide Shut is an excruciatingly tedious and overlong movie that is more like the test of endurance than a thought-provoking philosophical movie such as Terrence Malick's flawed masterpiece The Thin Red Line. I was warned by an aunt that Eyes Wide Shut is really, in her own word, a "sucko". I cannot form my opinion unless I have seen the particular movie with my own eyes and judge the film based on its technical and artistic merits, among others such as logic, intelligence and content. I'm not easily offended as people might think (I consider Election one of the best movies of last year -- the sheer brilliance of the direction and screenplay blew me away -- though The Iron Giant takes the prize as my favorite movie of 1999).
What irritates me most are not only the deliberately slow pace and Nicole Kidman's terrible acting (watch the long sequence in which she was spaced out and accuses her husband of cheating, then eventually confessed) but the shallow script that have no redeeming value whatsoever -- no story, no plot, nothing. The dialogues are so contrived in the first hour that I thought Kubrick and his co-writer were fantasizing what the characters' conversations and interactions are like. The fatal flaw of the movie is its glaring emotional detachment. I felt nothing for the characters, and because of that fact, I do not care about the characters at all, regardless of the situations they face.
The infamous orgy sequence -- in its censored form -- was literally laughable, not because of the obviously computerized Austin Powers figures placed to avoid the dreadful NC-17 rating. There is no explanation or point about the supposed secrecy of the ritual comprising of the members wearing cloaks and masks and participating in copulation and orgy. It's an enigma why the ridiculous plot point is essential to the film -- not just the orgy but the whole idea that the secret society exists. This is simply to serve Kubrick's internal fantasies. I find it completely pointless and trivial.
The only things I like about the film are the decent acting by Tom Cruise and Sidney Pollack and amazing cinematography. I thought Eyes Wide Shut is truly a mediocre film. I did not like 2001: A Space Odyssey the first time I saw it, but I appreciated that film over time. Eyes Wide Shut might as well have the same effect, but its lack of emotional distinction and absurdity (witness the weird and laughable ending) are the reasons I did not like the film.
Stanley Kubrick tortured his actors and film crew during the making of Eyes Wide Shut for three years, and the final effort is not well worth it. Kubrick only wants to test the sanity of the audience sitting through the meandering and plodding two hours and 40 minutes movie.