Call me crazy, but I hated it!

Rating: Null/10 (23 July 1999)

I've looked through all the reviews of this movie online, in the newspaper, and on tv... "Eyes Wide Shut is a brilliant movie, four stars, superb, etc." Personally, I don't understand. The movie I saw was incredibly long, confusing, boring, and if I had to hear that annoying piano solo that seemed to contain only two notes just one more time, I would have killed something or someone. Maybe I need to see the movie again because it was too "deep" for me, but I kept expecting Ghostface from Scream to pop out when the masked men were opera singing near the circle of (sarcasm) completely essential naked women. I didn't find this film sexy, erotic, or any of the things I've heard about it... I found it to be dull and mindboggling. Perhaps if I were a man I would have liked it better, maybe the hordes of naked women would have been appealing or slightly purposeful. The only thing that kept me going was staring at Tom Cruise for almost three tortuous hours... Now why did we have to stare at a naked Nicole Kidman forever but not once see a naked Tom? Life is unfair. And if life is Eyes Wide Shut, it's also an overrated and pointless farce. I think I'll stick with American Pie... it may not be a Stanley Kubrick "masterpiece" but at least it's entertaining and has a plot!