If you only knew, to watch another movie. (Spoilers)

Rating: 3/10 (8 July 2004)

(Spoilers)
I am friends with some serious movie buffs and let me tell you folks, Blue Velvet is not as bad or weired as portrayed by those wonderful movie reviewers, but Eyes Wide Shut is worse than anything a movie reviewer could dream up. Keep your eyes pretty much closed and wonder, did I just see a bunch of skin and wish I had seen at least a soft porn film instead of this? Keep your eyes shut and you won't have to wonder how a supposedly so smart doctor would not even give a hoot about the piano player. You won't have to wonder how stupid the doctor's wife is for saying she would have taken a roll in the hay and given up her life for a stranger. You will see some incredible nude women. Women that are drop dead gorgeous specimens. You will see the doctor play with a woman without showing anything of her body and make it look like she is ready to bed him right then and there. But then you have a dead hooker and the missing piano player and nobody who gives a hoot? Please don't let the doctor be my friend. And if I only knew, well I tell you I have a lot of friends who say they will sleep with Bill Clinton but not too many who will run off with the first man in uniform. That's what I know.