Terrible film, slow, long, uneventful and ultimately pointless

Rating: 3/10 (29 January 2017)

I showed this film to some people who did not know it was Kubrick, so they gave it no extra hype bonus points from the martyrdom of Saint Stanley who died shortly after the making of this film.
Too long. The film is long in every way possible - total duration, scene length, dialogues. People speak slowly, with multiple breaks between every sentence or word, ask a single questions of 10 words over 30+ seconds. Everything is slow and labored.
The film is just slow. There's so much fat in every scene, so much that could be cut without losing anything from this film. Someone walking outside, fine, but 2 minutes and 20 seconds would tell the same thing.
There are very few events in this film. Things happen, but you really don't care about them. There are subplots that have nothing to do with anything in the story. The costume store story has no purpose. Cruise goes to rent a costume from a costume store, the owner of the store sees his underaged daughter having sex with two older men so he traps them in the store and continues doing business, threatening to call the cops. When Cruise returns the next day he sees the Johns leaving the store, thanking the owner, who tells Cruise that they worked it out financially before offering his (still underage) daughter's services to Cruise.
The music is beyond irritating - a single piano note being hit over and over.
So this is a 3 star film. They got some things right, mostly technical things, the acting is not bad, it's not the fault of the actors who did the best they could.
I cannot recommend it to anyone and I regret watching it.