Why not?

Rating: Null/10 (10 August 2015)

Fans of the movie need not read this review. It's not for you. In fact, it's not for anybody who has already seen Eyes Wide Shut, whether you liked it or not.
I've reviewed hundreds of movies, and this is the very first time I've written a review of a movie I haven't seen. Here's why I'm writing it anyway: There may be others out there who, like me, still have not seen Eyes Wide Shut, more than 16 years after its release. They (again, like me) may be huge movie fans, even huge fans of Kubrick's earlier movies, but for some reason this particular Kubrick movie hasn't drawn them yet.
They may feel sometimes (like me again) that they OUGHT to see it, but for some reason they just haven't. If you're in that state, hearing my reasons may help you decide to see it, or it may help you reconcile yourself to never seeing it. This review is for you and you alone.
I've read a LOT about this movie, about the circumstances under which it was made, the challenges Kubrick and others faced in making it, its unique position in the history of making and distributing movies. I've read dozens of reviews of the movie, by professional critics whom I respect enormously (and some I don't) and by amateurs like us here at Amazon, IMDb, Netflix, etc. I've seen many clips from the movie, official trailers as well as pirated clips posted online, including some that are hailed as the very best scenes in it by most fans of the movie.
The thing is, not once in all that time have I ever read or seen anything that made me want to see the movie. Not for one second did I see a clip that made me want to see more, read anything that made me want to experience it directly instead of second-hand. There just is not anything about it that appeals to me. Nothing.
Nearly every movie I see I see because a trailer, or a clip from the movie, or a comment I read somewhere stirred up something in me that wanted more. Often the full movie turns out to be disappointing or even unwatchable, but I have found a few real jewels that way. But nothing has ever caused me to want to see this one even slightly. I WANT to want to see it, but I just don't.
Since it's unlikely that anything new will be discovered in this movie now, anything that would light even a tiny spark of interest in me, I just need to accept the fact that I don't want to see Eyes Wide Shut, and I most likely never will, and that's okay.
So I'm giving this movie one star because it hasn't even succeeded in making me want to see it, which is about the biggest failure a movie can have.