Hot, Sweet, and Filthy!(Spoilers)

Rating: Null/10 (29 July 2001)

"What kind of charade ends with someone turning up dead?" Those are great lyrics, Nolan. I've got real talent. My lyrics?- Those are lines from the movie, idiot! I couldn't even think of interesting enough phrases from my own imagination to use during my review. Anyway, "Eyes Wide Shut" was a great f****g movie! When Kubrick makes a movie, they're supposed to be good; that's the whole point. It was moving yet stupid. The sets look like they were designed by Edward Hopper. Tom Cruise is Bill Hartman, and he wonders where his seed will find purchase. Maybe if Tom could tell himself who it is he's looking for, he could help himself. The orgy scene, what a great scene! That was actually how my parents met. Oh, for fun. Nicole Kidman- I hate to stare at a butt like that. Sydney Pollack- you twisted old fruit. Vinessa Shaw, in a cameo role- Now she really is hotter than Nicole. My only critique to the actors would be-"posture, people- let's snap it up a bit!" And, what was with the whimsical sitcom music? "Fidelio"- let me get a pencil, I want to write that one down. Hey, it's my favorite movie. But, sure wish I had a girlfriend instead of this movie! Rating: 10/10 ( Vinessa, there's a dance next Friday, and I was thinking..)