"American Pie" was better

Rating: 3/10 (24 February 2013)

There is supposed to be some deep, maybe even profound, message to this movie, but, for me at any rate, I sure couldn't find it. Indeed, my recollection of this film, which I've only seen once, on Pay-Per-View shortly after it came out, was that this was basically really high class porno made by an extremely skilled director. As such, the best (and maybe only) way to enjoy this movie is to fast forward through all the parts that don't contain naked ladies.
The problem is, "Kubrick" and "Emotional richness and complexity" are two expressions that just don't go together. Think about how many of his characters, from Strangelove to this present movie, that you really cared about. The only one that comes to my mind is the unfortunate fat kid who cracks under pressure in the boot camp part of "Full Metal Jacket". And that's the problem with this film. We just don't care about these characters AT ALL. At best, this is a stylistic exercise, a slick production that is utterly devoid of real human heart.
In that sense, "American Pie", which came out the same year, does a much better job of exploring the sometimes embarrassing and often hilarious things that occur when men and women (or, in this case, boys and girls) tap dance around the issues of love, romance, and sex. Unlike "Eyes Wide Shut", we see real human beings in real human situations with real human emotions. We can relate to them, and laugh along with them as they deal with the various foibles that come with human relationships. In contrast, the characters from this movie might as well be cyborgs for all the warmth they bring to the screen.