Carry on Cruisin'

Rating: Null/10 (6 October 1999)

This is like an old-style British "sex comedy" in which no-one actually gets any. Sid James and Hattie Jacques being unavailable they had to settle for Cruise and Kidman.
True, the film raises a number of important questions, like: Are all prostitutes in Manhattan really that nice? How do you perform oral sex while wearing a mask? If Tom Cruise can't get laid in New York, what hope for the rest of us?
As the plot is built mainly on coincidence the only element of suspense is wondering if you have time to nip out to the lobby and get an ice cream before Nicole Kidman finishes a sentence. (You do.)