What... was... that?

Rating: 2/10 (14 January 2001)

Eyes Wide Shut: *1/2
"Eyes Wide Shut" is confused, dark, dreary, and unappealing. It is a movie so bad, I can't understand why critics gave it positive reviews. (Thank God "Entertainment Weekly" gave it a negative one, though.) The movie is like a sponge. It pulls you in scene by scene so you can see what happens next. But when the end comes and everything comes together, you're sitting there thinking, "That was it? That was the whole movie? That's what I wasted two and a half hours of my life on?" It is so utterly bad, that can't help but watch. Then you get that feeling at the end.
The movie is confusing. But more, I think the movie itself is confused. Is it a drama? Erotic thriller? What? Tell me. I missed something. Now, Stanley Kubrick was a great director. But it's said to see him go out with this. His career was like, great film, great film, great film, and then this. This... this... monstrosity.
Cruise and Kidman are very well respected actors by me. "Rain Man" great film, "Batman Forever" good film. "Eyes Wide Shut" horrible film. I mean, they ARE good in this. They are the only ones working hard in this movie. Everyone else doesn't seem to care very much. And neither did I. The plot is not very well planned out. It's confusing and it doesn't even seem to be there.
I didn't care for this movie to much. So to Roger Ebert and everyone else who loved it, sorry. But what were you thinking?!