This Movie About the Future Set Women Back About 500 Years

Rating: 1/10 (4 January 2016)

Ah yes, nothing quite like a powerful man building anatomically correct, female droids and getting his jimmy wet with this bevy of bionic beauties ranging from blonde (is that a race?) to African to Asian. Between the incredibly smart, powerful man in tech with the body of a gym rat and Achilles heel of a lush; and the scrawny nerd who just wants the drunk one to admit he's a great coder; my brain was drowning in the urine of this pissing contest while the drunk nerd was drowning in metal vagina. I have no doubt many twelve year old boys probably grew pubes watching this movie, while the rest of us cringed at this nerd, male fantasy called a movie. If you've ever dreamed of raping chicks, but needing them to be robots so people don't judge your proclivity too severely, this is the movie of a lifetime for you!
But wait! There's more! So when these women aren't letting the king of the castle really give it to 'em, they desperately need rescuing from his house. Yeah, robots need rescuing. I'll tell you what, I'm about to get one of those BB-8 Spheros and if any of you jerks come to my apartment and try to "rescue it", I will call the cops on you so fast for burglary. It's a robot; not a person. I mean, super gross this guy ejaculates inside of them and all, but Siri sprouting a chest does not make her an actual person at all. But you know those women, always needing saving! Even the robot ones!
I'm still not done, by the way. It gets even worse. Then there's this whole thing where the main robot chick, who is way out of the league of the not drunk, hero nerd, uses her sexuality to manipulate him to free her. Again, you know, cos these robot concubines might be robots, but they are women, so they will obviously use their vagina to get out of situations they don't like. Even robot women! Of course, hero nerd is such a nice guy that he does this for robot woman. What does out-of-his-league robot woman do? You guessed it! She betrays him, effectively leaving him to starve to death (I assume he'll try to Beat Grylls it by drinking his own pee). Women! You just can't trust 'em! Amirite? Even when you build your own woman to have sex with/rape on the daily and nightly, they'll still stab you in the back bother literally and figuratively! Yes, if you're wondering, there's a scene where one of the robot concubines literally stabs drunk nerd in the back.
The sci-fi component itself is 8th grade, stoner level at best with very little resting in plausible technology. The philosophies that usually blossom of sci-fi do not even exist here. At some point, they use a Bhagavad Gita quote (that they credit Oppenheimer with, of course, I'm not going to get into that much more), but they do not manage to come up with a single original thought.
Pros: Kickass architecture and really pretty shots of Alaska.
Cons: Literally everything else about this movie. I'm surprised it's rated so highly, though I'm seeing most of the the people writing such glowing reviews are... you guessed it... dudes!
Recommended viewing: if you are a recovering alcoholic who feels like relapsing; a woman who was raped and feels like being triggered; an angry, white, male nerd who needs that extra push to rape and murder the chick who lives a couple doors over.
This is probably the only time I'll ever write a review on IMDb, because I'm really shocked that it has a score over 4 let alone all these reviews raving about how great it is. No. This movie is terrible.