I didn't hate it enough.

Rating: 4/10 (7 May 2015)

SPOILERS AHEAD. So watch it.
I have to admit that I went to see this film expecting something bad. I don't know why, but my shields were up. I just wanted to know HOW it was going to be bad.
I didn't have to wait long to find out. You see, the guy who built the amazing sensitive woman robot (more on this later) is an alcoholic dude-bro who absolutely positively could not build that thing in real life. No. He lifts weights. He boxes. He pounds down fifths of vodka. I might like to party with this cowboy but I cannot imagine this guy building anything but a really big sandwich. It's preposterous. The guy is so stupid that I thought HE would turn out to be some kind of robot-red herring but, nope, he is ACTUALLY supposed to be this super-genius who becomes a trillionaire and takes over the internet at the age of thirteen.
Please.
He's the same actor who appeared in "Sucker Punch" (a better movie about objectifying women) and he was a good villain in that and he should stick with villains. Dumb villains. If he shows up in a few more stinkers his career could tank--so he should not take any more roles where he plays a brainiac. I have some bad news. Brainiacs are nerdy people. They have issues. Social anxiety. They might actually BUILD a girl-bot for those lonely nights in Glacier National Park after they, like, bought it and stuff 'cause they were so rich. But not this guy. He's not the type. That's that. You can call me a racist or bigot or whatever all day and all night. It's a fact.
Actually, this movie could have taken the whole "what is intelligence?" thing and ran with it. It could have taken the whole "what is sexual attraction?" thing and ran with that. But it chose not to run with anything. It chose to sit there.
Now about that sensitive female robot. I could imagine a film where the idea of "sensitivity" is explored and the notion of "femininity" is examined. That would be a good film. I would write a good review of that. But this wasn't that movie. The sensitive robot woman is, sorta, oh man, I don't know, supposed to be a real girl, like Pinocchio, or something. It's just painful. She is a MACHINE. When the movie tries to imply that she isn't a machine, we go directly to creepy.
By the way, this movie offended my sense of smell,too. Something about being in that enclosed space with the HVAC system conking out every time the robot charges up--I dunno. I felt, after a while, I could actually SMELL the place. Or maybe it was that guy behind me eating the mushu pork.
But I digress.
The movie doesn't really reach down and turn fully stupid until the ending, where our hero (barely our hero) discovers that dude-bro the genius is making women suits and then teaching them to bark like a dog. He hangs up the old girl-bots in a kind of bachelor pad from Hell that he shares with the one bot that he never taught to speak (a whole 'nother movie could be made from that, but no).
Eventually, the robots kill the dude-bro and at this point I couldn't take it. I went out in the hall. Sitting in that awful seat watching an awful movie was giving me leg cramps. I missed the ending but that, I assure you, was nothing. Whatever happened, it could not have undone the damage.
Avoid.