The Evil Dunce

Rating: 1/10 (13 September 2013)

Let me preface this review by saying, that I am a fan of the Evil Dead series. These movies are the last vestiges of honest creativity in the cult classic world. No seriously, think about it. When was the last time you saw a movie maker just take and run with his ideas; not giving a crap about the status quo? Not caring about if his stuff is macho enough for the 1 in 25 sociopaths out there? Now everything is stylized bullcrappery meant to elicit a reaction, not tell a story, not meant to entertain. It's just created to satisfy the urge to see women scream. Sick, sick, sick.
I am the exact opposite. I expect a horror movie to scare and entertain me, not terrorize me or encourage violence against half the human planet. I don't confuse blatant, violent misogyny as an acceptable expression of "Horror." I don't expect to see racist or homophobic crimes in a horror movie, nor should I expect to see crimes against women used as entertainment fodder for the psychos in our society.
All you have to do is look at the advisory warnings to see what's in store for you if you decide to spend money on this movie. Violence, gore, more gore; sick sexuality with some lesbian appropriation thrown in. Ooooh sex. Tee hee. Sex is always a Big Deal to the repressed and immature.
Sam Raimi has officially lost my respect because of this movie. He has taken a perfectly good movie franchise and sold it out to the crowd of "the biggest, most aggressive, violent, cruel, sadistic butthole rulez! (bro)." This movie didn't add anything to the storyline, and it didn't enrich the viewer's enjoyment or understanding of the movies it was based from. The magic of the original Evil Dead movies is that they were creative, funny, ironic, and did NOT rely on cookie cutter stylized pop culture garbage. That magic is gone now, completely RUINED. Thanks for nothing, Mr Raimi. I wonder if Bruce Campbell regrets ever being a part of this franchise.
I'd like to make one last point about horror - the point of horror is not to create movies for psychopaths to get their jollies off or satisfy a need to see women in pain. For godsakes. Horror is meant to be intriguing to a degree as to the possibilities that exist outside our normal lives. That is where the bona fide reaction of being afraid comes from, geniuses - the realization that things exist outside our normal understanding. Whether they are a dead person rising from the grave or a monster from parallel universe. Read Lovecraft, he knew exactly what horror was even if his writing style is not your favorite you will learn more about what horror is reading one story of his than you will watching 20 modern "horror" movies (lolz, if they can be called that).
In my time at IMDb, I find that the real fans of the horror genre are intelligent and cynical. Cynical because they have already confronted the aliens, the demons, the psychos, etc and you won't find them GUSHING about how WONDERFUL it was to see women sliced in half, because they don't watch horror to be entertained or expect the movie to reflect their sexist worldview. No, they want to be taken OUT of their worldview, they WANT to confront something that is new and different, a possibility they have never considered before. And they want to TALK and DISCOVER about those possibilities, not sit around staring at mindless gore.
Yes, I know, the Evil Dead franchise was not meant to be the most intellectual or radical movie series, but it was at least entertaining until this piece of crap remake came along. But you could at least say, "Yeah, I've seen those movies. What a hoot huh?" and now I can't even say that anymore.