Everything a good factory made horror film can be.

Rating: 4/10 (15 October 2013)

Evil Dead has plentiful practical effects, a setting faithful to the original, and a halfway decent lead actress but completely fails on story and sound. I liken it to a TV dinner; corn, mash potatoes, and Salisbury steak with gravy... lots of gravy. Because even though the mash potatoes taste like Elmer's paste, splash some gravy on there and suddenly they go down fine. Maybe spoon that corn into your potatoes and mix it up, take a bite of Salisbury steak with potatoes and it's dandy; if you have plenty of gravy. Evil Dead has no gravy and by gravy I mean sound. The gravy ties the dinner together so even if the corn or potatoes are lacking, you don't mind as much. Sound (or silence) sets the mood and creates ambiance and is arguably the most important ingredient. Here they play generic music mixed with random noises and the dry instant potatoes just sit in your mouth waiting to be washed down. To summarize the movie: Character acts unreasonably stupid to set up gross out scene. Excellent disgusting effects ensue. Character waits until effects are finished then impotently reacts. Repeat ad nauseam. I hate this type of bad horror film more than any other because the filmmakers had resources, had talent available, and they chose to make a mediocre movie. If you programmed a robot to make a horror film, Evil Dead 2013 is what you would get.