Totally uninspired, falls flat on all aspects.

Rating: 1/10 (15 April 2013)

Before I begin my review, I just want to say that I was one of the few who is a fan of the originals, who looked forward too/had an open mind about this remake/reboot/re-visioning (whatever the hell you perceive it to be). Let me also add that I did not let it affect me to bash this movie simply because there was no Bruce Campbell in the starring role or Sam Raimi to direct it.
With the title of this review being said, This movie was HORRIBLE. When I say it fell flat on all aspects I truly mean it.
1. Story. The good part is its a story of 5 friends that go to a cabin in the woods. Not for the partying and fun like the original. The main character, David, goes to this retreat in the hopes of helping his sister become clean of drugs. it is then you find out it this cabin is a place where a lot of their childhood took place, but when their mother died, the less and less they visited and became a place where locals came to perform an exorcism on a local girl who was possessed by demons that surrounded the forest.That is where David along with friend Eric, discover under the storage cellar, where ritual took place because of constantly smelling an odor. That is where they discover a room where Carcasses of cats were hanging. They come across a book that is wrapped up in a trash bag, and tightly wound Barbed wire. eager to find out what it is Eric discovers it is the book of the dead. He reads a summon out loud (Even though the book clearly states that no one should even acknowledge it.) which wakens the demon. which (of course) possesses Mia (the recovering drug addict.) so when weird things start happening to her of course everyone makes it out to be her withdrawal that are making her neurotic. OK that's enough. I don't really have to go any further for you to guess what happens. that being said that is pretty much the same premise as the original. Although there is similarities, over all it falls short of inspiring. the movie moves at a pace where you watch about 40 minutes of it and you still don't know any of the characters names, or even want to care about them. There was absolutely no substance to the story telling. maybe that's because you focus so much on the original, or because this writer/director just butchered the hell out of this remake to make it his own, you just stop caring and you just want to get to the good stuff
2. Special effects ("the good stuff") The great thing about the original was the low budget and the on screen effects that Raimi used. Well obviously the bigger the budget, the more fun you can have right? I read other reviews, where people said what makes this movie great is the on screen effects and the minimal use of CGI. Whoever said this is a joke all in its own. The on screen effects were just as bad if not worse the actual good abundance of CGI used. The CGI used looked so fake and cheesy, I cant believe other viewers looked at it as if they couldn't notice. The overuse of fake blood made this movie go from bad to worse.
3. What they did right Believe me when I say this. There was very, and I mean very little that they did right. there was minor homage to the original, like the random appearances of the "boom stick," Ash's chainsaw hand, the cameraman running though forest representing the presence of the demon. But honestly that is all I can think of.
My conclusion? Skip it. I literally asked myself: What the hell did I just watch? You would think if you were pay any homage to the original by making a remake or reboot, you do it the right way. But in a sense, is there really a right way to do a reboot? rarely anyone walks out of the theater satisfied. They just get mad that someone tried to fix something that did not need fixing. I know the reason for remakes, but i laughed at all the teenagers that walked out of the theater saying how horrifying the movie was. Some of which never knew this was a remake of an old movie. like I did through out this movie all I did was laugh and shake my head. Skip it save your money. Pop in the original and appreciate it.