101 things that didn't work for me..

Rating: 3/10 (1 April 2013)

I could literally blog every day for at least 3 months on the things that irritated me about this film.
I will recap just some of my thoughts .
******* Possible spoiler comments below ************
1) The first 30 minutes played like a LifeTime story about drug addiction.
2) the last 60 minutes felt like Saw meets Hostel by way of Martyrs. Just non-stop gore.
3) There was not one second where I was scared.
4) there was no sense of dread.
5) Even though the film was supposedly about demonic possession, I never for one minute really believed it.
6) The so-called hero was one of the most irritating characters I have ever seen. I could not wait for him to die.
7) The characters were - at best - 2 dimensional. Bland.
8) There was no emotional impact. I could care less what happened to anyone.
9) The Demonic POV (the Raimi-cam from the original) seemed here more like a POV of a jogger in the woods.
10) The acting ranged from mediocre to down right laughable
11) The plot holes were so thick that you could drive a mack truck through it
12) The film should win the award "most consistently stupid things done on screen". Even for the horror slasher, the actions of the characters went beyond stupid. My eyes actually hurt from rolling so much.
13) The big-oh-so-scary demon that everybody was afraid of was the single wimpiest evil presence I have ever seen. Think the wimpy devil from Exorcist: Prequel kind of wimp.
14) The makeup was not scary
15) The music was so ineffective that I am not even sure there was a soundtrack.
16) after 60 minutes (30 minutes of non-stop gore) I felt numb. at 70 minutes I started thinking about grocery shopping.
Etc. etc. As I said, I could go on and on about what didn't work for me.
The good? this film has two- and only two good things that I can say - the SFX was very impressive. Not scary, but impressive. And if you like gore, then this is the film for you! Not just buckets of blood, not gallons, - whole truckloads (no joke).
This was a thoroughly typical teenage slasher/torture porn film. No plot, no logic, no acting, no scares, no music- nothing but blood and gore.
Yes, it was competently made. If that, and tons of gore is enough for you, then you will definitely enjoy it!
After about an hour, the woman next to me said "so this is essentially about 5 really stupid people killing each other. With lots of blood. That's it?" I said "yup. that's it"
Did anybody cover their face in the movie? Sure!! When you someone pulling a needle out of the eye you will wince. That is not horror. that is not scare.. that is just 'gross out' moments.
I talked to some people coming out of the theater. NOT ONE PERSON TOLD ME THEY WERE SCARED DURING THE FILM!
Isn't that what a horror film supposed to do?
Have we really just substituted frights and emotional scares with SFX, blood and gore and think its the same thing?
Its been a long time since I have seen the original I definitely intend on doing so.. it has got to be better than this.
As a remake it was better than most Platinum Dune projects - but that isn't saying much.
As a film by itself, it is passable entertainment for gore hounds.
Oh - if you must see this film, then please stay for the post-credit sequence. It was the only thing that put a smile on my face.
I really wished I liked this film.. But I cannot recommend it based on my experience.
May yours be different than mine.
3 out of 10. Generously.