The closest thing you can have to a meaningful life is a productive life.

Rating: 4/10 (24 September 2015)

In this movie the players have an objective: climb a big hill. However, something bad happens along the way. That's the movie. Based on a true story, the original title was "A Bunch of Gits With Too Much Time/Money Take on a Needless, Time-Consuming, Fruitless Task: Climb a Dangerous Hill." More than a few times over the movie's 121 minutes you can catch the film's Nepalese players exchanging dry looks.
Without even seeing "Everest," you know exactly how it's going to go. The "team" climbs the mountain, rubbing and blowing into their hands (lol) along the way, just to, you know, let you know it's an ordeal (or something) and, by and by, that "bad thing" I mentioned above happens. As I've learned from watching this movie, Mount Everest is, like, really quite tall, and the ice up there is *super* slippery in places. One of the team members slips and things quickly go pear-shaped. Commence even more grunting, gritted teeth, and long, long looks down the side of the mountain.
I'm sorry if I sound like Mr. Sourpuss, but I just really think there could have been something at the top of the mountain. They spend all that time getting there and all you see are little markers left by people *who have already climbed it.* It would've been nice if they got to the top and found an ogre. Or a dragon. Or maybe a giant robot! Wouldn't it have been cool if they got to the top and saw one of the robots from Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow?
But no. Not one lousy robot-- they couldn't have even given me that. Instead, one of the team (or two or whatever) slips on their way down, and that's what the second half of the movie is about. (The first half is about the way up, in case you were wondering.)
It's not all sub-par, however. It's nicely shot, the colours are beautiful, and the part where the Nepalese helicopter pilot (smirking the entire time) flies out from near the mountain's peak is pretty cool. But I just can't get beyond the fact that a.) the name "Everest" is being used in such sentimental Hollywood schlock, and b.) the conflict in this movie was entirely avoidable. Seriously, it's not like the cure for cancer or the next great Canadian novel was up there. Check out the motives of these people: the Japanese woman was doing it to be the oldest woman who's climbed the most mountains. Another guy was doing it because he's getting old and is feeling self conscious. I guess I just don't get their motivations, but to me, it's vanity. The closest thing you can have to a meaningful life is a productive life. Go give to charity or write a book instead, you pompous gits!
Early on, there's a scene where one character is climbing a slope (I know 99% of this movie is like that, but listen) and he slips momentarily. That wasn't acting-- that was an actual moment where the actor lost his balance and then righted himself. You'll see it and remember it too if you watch this.
That unscripted, half-second blip was the one authentic, unsentimental part of this movie. The rest... Hollywood dross.