Dumb

Rating: Null/10 (24 February 2005)

What do you get when you put a bunch of marketers in a think tank, and give them the sole purpose of creating "the next big thing..."? I'll tell you what you get; you get a bunch of teen-age boys who want to see blood, topless women, good "drama" (as they define it), space-ships, and a little bit of horror and gun play, and in-your-face moments.
This has got to be one of the absolute worst films I've seen in a long time. It's like an X-rated "Mission to Mars," but with a lot more needless gore, courtesy of the appetite of America's teenage-boy-market driven media-babysitter society. It's enough to make a man want to leave the nation... but I digress.
Heck, the only thing missing from this piece of trash is Paris Hilton and a bunch of islanders with hand written ballots. Now THERE'S a movie! Seriously, if the brain-dead jerks at the major Studios would only look at their own data, they'd see that they've squeezed themselves out of their own market with poorly executed trash like this piece of junk.
Give me the same script, actors and budget, and I could crank out an infinitely better film. AND, I'd bring it in on time, AND, it'd be interesting, AND it'd make a return, AND it'd bring a mainstream audience back to the threatre.
To me it looks like some USC film major flunkie read the manual to the original DOOM computer game, and thought they'd could go the distance with a script based on a flimsy premise: Hell occupying another dimension.
Lots of blood, f-words, and a pair of breasts, if I were Joe Bob Briggs I might recommend this crap, but as it turns out the best I can recommend is that you use the DVD as a coaster.
Avoid like the plague.
Better yet bang on Paramount's business doors, and demand your money back.
An utter waste of time, money and effort... and that's just to watch the thing.