Horror movie in Sci-fi's clothing

Rating: 6/10 (1 August 2002)

So my brother-in-law and I are bored: 'Hey, why not go check out that movie Event Horizon?' 'So what is it all about?' 'I am not positive, but it looked to be a sort of science fiction work.' 'Oh, well, you mean like Star Wars?' 'Well, I loved Star Wars!' 'As did I!' 'Well, let us see Event Horizon! Shall we?' 'Let's! Surely it shall be jolly good fun!'
Well, doggonit, that's what the freakin previews made it look like: just another science-fiction movie! Cool spaceship. Scientist people. Maybe some interesting theories about life and stuff.
Imagine my shock and horror as the characters began to disembowel each other, rip their eyes from their sockets, and burst sloppily in space (in no particular order). For an hour and a half, I sat paralyzed in my seat, fingers rigidly clenching the armrests, afraid to blink, afraid to move, afraid to get up and waddle to the bathroom.
Mine virgin eyes had never watched Hellraiser nor Friday the 13th nor Nightmare on Elm Street. I pity the poor theater worker who had to clean up the bricks under my seat after the movie. THIS IS A FREAKIN SCARY MOVIE.
As I may have mentioned earlier, this is an immensely effective horror flick. Only problem is that I didn't go to the theater on that innocent, summer day so long ago to see a horror flick. Chalk this one up to poor marketing and misleading commercials.
Years later I saw it with a bunch of friends who thought it was stupid and said I was a pansy for being scared.