Am I really the only person who thought this was the cheesiest movie of all time?

Rating: 1/10 (21 September 2008)

I have a handful of friends who refuse to watch horror movies because they think they're all pure cheese. Event Horizon is definitely gives their argument some backbone. Here is one of the most acclaimed and said to be the scariest movies among horror fans, but when I watched it all I could do is chuckle. Event Horizon is cheese horror, and here is why: - The casting is horrible. The characters are not only all clichés, but they're clichés who can't act. They say some of the stupidest lines in the history of cinemalike, "Look, a corpse-sickle!"and then act as if they've said the most intelligent thing ever. It's ridicules.

The entire movie is filled with melodramatic scenes. Something bad will happen, then it's accompanied by a laughing man imitating Dr. Eviland everyone still takes him seriously. One of the absolute cheesiest lines is, "Once you're evil, you don't need eyes . . ." as Dr. Evil-wannabe cackles in his chair. Sorry, I didn't know I was watching a comedy.

There is no atmosphere, tension, suspense, or terror. The movie jumps strait from the opening to the scenes that are supposed to be scary, but never gives you any suspense or atmosphere. The ship is so abstract it looks like one of those play places at McDonalds or something, not a bearer of doom that the movie expects you to think of it as.

Why does EVERY sci-fi movie have to rip-off Medline L'Engle's book A Wrinkle In Time, then think it's the first movie to come up with the idea? I could list at least 10 movies that have done that, and this makes number 11. Great, we get it: if you fold space you can go from one place to the other faster. We get it already. Think of something new, please. We understood it in the 60's, we understand it now. What I don't understand is why EVERY sci-fi movie can't think of something even slightly new instead of using the same old tired cliché and acting as if it's the first time we ever heard it.

There were at least 5 wake-up-and-it's-just-a-dream sequences in this movie, and every time they just get cheesier and cheesier.

I'm not even sure there is more for me to complain about because all that is fresh in my mind is how cheesy Event Horizon was. I cannot remember a single minute of the runtime that I actually found something serious or scary. Sure, I can understand why some people would find this movie scary, because as Stephen King proved hundreds of times, cheese scares people. But for someone like me who is spoiled by truly good sci-fi/horror movies, like Alien, I simply can't take this seriously. The premise is great, but that's all I can give it. I think this movie proves that everything Paul W.S. Anderson turns to cheese. If he directed it, even if it's somehow acclaimed, don't see it.
1/10