Idealistic yet realistic definition of love

Rating: 10/10 (9 February 2020)

I often find myself knowingly going back to toxic relationships regardless of it being romantic, etc. After a high, a low may follow and it absolutely crushes me to know that I will go back to them regardless. Sometimes, I wonder what it would be like to leave them completely. But that only lasts a second and I know that I am going back to them because when it is good, it is extremely good I want nothing else until the day I die than to spend time with them.
This reminds me of the girl I used to like; the day I met her ex, I realised I did not even deserve to like this girl anymore. I saw how much they were missing each other, yet not making a single move because they knew they would be toxic to each other. Knowing that, I knew that I could never make this girl happy the way her ex did. Good times are good, it's just that it sucks they are followed by some awful times at times.
Love is such a weird feeling, though I doubt that I have ever experienced it. All I know for now is that once you earn it, it should not be easy for it to be taken away from you. It would also be very lucky of me to have experienced it in my life time.