Impossibly Crappy- Few Redeeming Qualities

Rating: 1/10 (28 April 2004)

I struggled for a long time to like this movie. I just felt horrible; everyone was enjoying the "best film of the last ten years" and I just felt like I was watching cinematic vomit. I felt out of the loop, but, I suppose that's just going to have to be alright, because I refuse to like this piece of bile.
First off, the plot revolves around a pretty lame plot device, namely a memory erasing company. Some people really do forget other human beings, even those they've been romantically involved with, so why rely on this lame device? Charlie Kaufman's funny dialogue and interesting plots have gone out the window, making way for some incredibly bad lines, like, "Do you think I'm ugly?" I just hate listening to the characters talk; they are some of the most repulsive, unlikeable characters committed to the screen. Kate Winslet's character in particular I wanted to smack. I mean, how is it possible I can stand a four hour movie starring a rapacious gangster (Once Upon a Time in America) and can't not walk out on this under-two hour claptrap starring decent humans? I wouldn't want to spend ten minutes with these bastards, let alone 100 minutes.
Kirsten Dunst starts dancing in her underwear. Whoop-de-doo. Mark Ruffalo makes a mistake. Elijah Wood looks like a chihuahua. Jim Carrey looks ill. Kate Winslet spaces out and annoys the hell out of me. No actor in the movie has a breakout performance, not even Jim Carrey, who's just as annoying as he is in his comedic films. Even the score by the otherwise talented Jon Brion sucks! It's like everything that touches this movie instantly turns to sh*t.
The direction, courtesy of mediocre music video director Michel Gondry, is not even worth mentioning. It's ridiculous. All of it is done very ambitiously, but most of the time it just feels stupid and over-the-top.
In all, I found a predictable, bland, overrated, steaming piece of tripe. Please, never speak of it again in my presence.
Overall
.5/10