Goes Down Like Water

Rating: 6/10 (10 September 2009)

Julia Roberts is like the vanilla ice cream of movies. Everyone pretty much likes her more or less, and for a dessert, she'll do in a pinch. And I don't mean that literally. Of course, vanilla ice cream isn't really all that memorable, and, I'll admit, there are a few memorable Roberts moments. But despite these fleeting moments (think Thelma and Louise or Steel Magnolias) there is one thing you cannot deny about Ms. Roberts: she is the same in every movie. There are many subtle variations, I'll give her that, but when you boil it down to its essential elements, Julia's performances coast by on a few melancholy looks, a few shy smiles, and a lower lip that juts in the cutest way. If you think about the movies Julia has shined in, they are typically the films with intense plots. But when you stop to imagine her in some of her more shallow films, the parallels are impossible to ignore. Her latest film Erin Brockovitch is such a film. Don't get me wrong. It's entertaining. But it's formulaic. A cinematic experience made with a cookie-cutter plot. The story: Julia is brash young unwed mother of three Erin Brockovitch who manages to score a job filing forms at a small-time law firm. Erin's take-no-sass attitude and foul-mouthed pluckiness soon take her far, and she ends up with a raise and a new car. This woman with no traditional schooling beyond a few years of high school manages to bring together some 600+ members of a big chemical scandal, memorize all of their families, diseases, phone numbers, and life histories, and does it in this no-nonsense, down-to-earth, sassy way. They win the lawsuit and the big mean corporation has to pay up 300+ million dollars to the working man. Hip hip hooray! I didn't ruin the movie for you. It's not a surprise. This movie floats on the same emotive capacities that all based-on-a-true-story enterprises bank on. Because of that, its basic story is only interesting as something off of which to bounce Erin's personality. Which is entertaining enough, although I don't know if I would call it good theatre. With a storyline with about as much subtlety as a Three Stooges movie, Erin Brockovitch's basic accomplishments fall in the same vein as the Stooges. Just as no one ever watched Curly to see a well-constructed plot, so Erin Brockovitch's exploits become an excuse just to watch her act all tough and in-your-face with everyone. Vanilla isn't the best flavor, that's true, but it's a fail safe. Likewise, I wouldn't recommend Erin Brockovitch to anybody with uncompromising and discriminating tastes; but anyone looking for basic, well-commercialized entertainment and prepackaged humor should come with a spoon and a bib. Erin serves it up piping hot. And she won't take none of your lip, neither.