StalinBad

Rating: 4/10 (25 March 2001)

Spoiler Warning, not that there is much to spoil.
Oh dear. Well, where to begin really? Firstly lets take the claim that it's based on a true story. Mm? Well unfortunately, even though the central character DID actually exist, the rest of the story was just highly successful red army propaganda. Well at least the russians could write, a skill the author of this woeful nonsense seems to have mislaid. But if the script is bad, and oh yes, it is very, very bad, the acting (or indeed lack thereof) only serves to highlight this. The director in his infinite wisdom, decided that a film depicting russians and germans, should be peopled almost entirely by actors speaking some strange fake cockney accent. Imagine the idiot halfbreed offspring of Damon Albarn and the cast of Spinal Tap, and you have some idea of the cringe inducing sound coming out of Jude "when are you going to take some acting lessons?" Law's mouth. Rachel "I only got this job because the director fancies me" Weisz, perfect as the ditzy airhead librarian in the Mummy, would have been the ideal choice for this film, if only her character was SUPPOSED to be a ditzy airhead sniper. There are, regrettably, numerous scenes of Rachel and Jude simpering over each other before going off to fight battles in the early morning, returning each day to curl up safe and sound in secret bunkers. Heaven only knows what would have happened if the germans had actually attacked outside of office hours. Only Ed Harris, impeccable as always, as the fictional Koenig, is beyond reproach. The rest? Well, you have east-end gangster Kruschev, posh boy from drama school, one of the Fiennes brothers (not the good one), and numerous unknowns grateful for their first (and probably last) chance of appearing on the big screen. Shot ON 35mm? They should have been shot WITH a 9mm. To be fair, it's not all bad. Some scenes, mercifully silent, of the duels between the protagonists are fairly tense, ruined only when someone utters the next line of drivel, but even this one glimmer of creativity is spoilt by director Arnaud's ill-judged tribute to Sergio Leone. A Clint Eastwood ending has no business in a supposed historical drama, I paid to see the battle for Stalingrad, not "A fist full of roubles". This film was 2 hours of my life wasted. 5 out of 10 (only Ed Harris keeps it from being a four.)