There is No Dog in this Movie

Rating: 1/10 (15 March 2019)

There are some films that may not be perfect, but have just the right amount of charm and nostalgic value that you can't help but enjoy them. Empire Records is not one of those films. I know some people have a soft spot for this one, but not me. Empire Records is one of the most abysmally annoying films I've ever seen in my life. There is no character, no charm, no originality, no effort! It all feels like one long, poorly edited music video with a sloppy screenplay attached at the last minute. Speaking of which, this movie is written terribly! There is a point when one character commits a federal crime, which would normally result in a prison sentence, and the action is brushed off like nothing! In fact, there are multiple scenes just like this. The film also has the dignity to take difficult subject matter such as drugs, depression, and even suicide, and just brush them off in its own idiotic way before returning to more quick editing, loud music, and screaming teenagers. I want to say Empire Records is so bad it's good, but that would require actual enjoyment from the film. As far as that goes, I received none. Other than all that, I would reccomed seeing this film if you're catatonic.