El-Stupid-ium

Rating: 1/10 (16 August 2013)

WOW! This movie is just awful. They call it Science Fiction but there is no science in it...only really bad fiction.
Have you ever noticed in these kind of futuristic society stories they never really explain how society got to the current state it is in at the start of the movie? There is a reason why. There is no possible way that such a stupid societal construct could ever come to be! So ...like a Paul Krugman economic theory...the answer is that the construct exists because the premise starts out saying "Let's assume that all logic and common sense goes out the door."(!)
Evidently in the future only future Los Angeles and Elysium exist. Supposedly the world is ravaged by population and disease but there are no Asians or EEU or South American or African members...or even Washington, DC, involved with Elysium! EVERY POLITICALLY SYSTEM GLOBALL JUST SOMEHOW UP AND VANISHED! DOH! So...Elysium is built and lived on evidently by only Hollywood types who rule the planet! The internet as we know it has also completely vanished. So has e-mail and cell phone technology...but you can still get a good deal on GMC vehicles that look like leftover Road Warrior vehicles!
Matt Damon (say it Team America-like) works in a factory where he...I guess...builds robots (?). That's a little unclear. But...he is stupidly badgered into some sort of elevator style "heat-treatment" booth by his superior. Since their is no OSHA anymore his character gets trapped in the room where they...get this!...dose the robots WITH HUMAN KILLING RADIATION! Now...there's like no big signs up anywhere in this factory that say WARNING: RADIATION AT WORK! It is never explained why robots need radiation treatment but that is what they do. AND...get this!...when the treatment is done the radiation "magically" disappears! People just walk in and out of the room! Like...WTF!??!!!??? How does radiation magically dissipate or get moved out of a room? IT DOESN'T! Unless all science goes out the window!
Poor Matt. Now he has 4 days to live because of Radiation poisoning and he is very ill and can barely walk or stay awake or keep from puking...for about 5 minutes! The rest of the movie he is hooked up to a biometric-ally controlled exoskeleton and Matt never shows any effects of radiation poisoning and he fights his way all over LA and Elysium! So...in a complete Johnny Mnemonic rip off (they should sue)...Matt Damon has the magic data in his skull and people want his head. How this all comes about is so incredibly ridiculously stupid and unbelievable I wanted to throw things at the screen.
Matt then shows up with a grenade with the pin pulled out and his hand holding the grenade from exploding and he demands a ride to Elysium or he will blow his head off. So...not strapped in...and with no refueling of any sort at all...the ship just flies off on a 12 minute flight to Elysium! So...they are breaking through Earth's atmosphere with the super rocket powered ship...he is not strapped in and is holding a grenade...AND THERE IS NO BLEEPING G FORCE CAUSING ANY ISSUES!
The final "evil guy\good guy" fight is just awful. The "evil guy" basically runs around saying "I could kill you but I will continue to spout stupid statements to drag this out until you...and this will be SUCH A SURPRISE...manage to overcome and defeat me because I kept just spouting off at the mouth rather than just killing you!"
This is after Matt goes to the armory and rescues the girly and Leukemia ridden daughter(tug my bleeding heartstrings). Now...dig this...3 bad guys are taking over Elysium...there is a big armory with plenty of weapons...AND NO ONE IS COMING TO GRAB THE WEAPONS AND TO STOP THE 3 MAN COUP OF ELYSIUM! DOH!!
To call this a craptacular is an insult to crap. This is just big money lazy story writing pushing a phony agenda. And it is just awful