Elizabeth - rise from the grave and strike back

Rating: 1/10 (11 December 2007)

I don't know where to begin with how awful this movie is. Perhaps a list: 1. The Music: Loud orchestra music to every scene - this rises to a crescendo and choral singing is added for the triumphant scenes - remember Damien?
2. Reality: Elizabethan England obviously has contacts with 21st century orthodontists and speech and language therapists. Let's get real here - polished piano key teeth would not have been the norm and everyone would not have spoken in a terribly polite straight queen's English accent. There was no wind, no rain (except of course a full dramatic thunderstorm for the Armada scene), the castle's were all comfortably warm - hello this is England pre central heating and double glazing days.
3. The poor queen. This woman is one of the greatest in English history who faced 70 years of adversity in a male dominated world. This film is an insult to her.
4. We know who won the Armada. There is no point having white horses with flowing manes, Clive Owen swinging from the burning ship and Cate Blanchett stood on a headland looking like a figure who's lost its way from the titanic movie. WE DON'T NEED IT.
Stopping for a glass of wine.