Cor blimey Guvnor! What was all that about?

Rating: Null/10 (4 November 2008)

Spaniards are dressed in black and have mean, scowling faces. They are the ugly catholic baddies out to get whatever they can in the name of religion. Oh my goodness me yes...
England is a clean, gloriously-lit kingdom with a gorgeous, sexy queen that smoulders with her on-screen beau, the dashing, James Bond-esquire Sir Walter 'oh what a big ship I've got' Raleigh (see below). She bathes amidst the glow a million candles with her cute (blemish-free, full- head-of-teeth) handmaid (actually Elizabeth is known to have had only a dozen baths in her entire life). Lord Essex didn't exist, Lord Darnley didn't exist and the entire Spanish armada was defeated in 15 minutes! And Walter Raleigh's Walther PPK didn't jam once!
I love this take on history! It makes me want to return the those wonderful days in the sun-drenched San Fernando Valley (or wherever they filmed this velvet epic... I could 'go visit' good Queen Bess. Maybe we could get a soda and some fries... take in a ride-in play at the Globe?
OK, perhaps I'm missing something? is that cheeky DVD cover with Cate putting her finger to her lips really an ultra-clever director's ploy to let us know that the whole movie is really just one elaborate joke?
In my opinion this film is utter tripe. Shame, the first film was so much better. However, if you want a more historically accurate look at the Elizabethan period try the second Blackadder series. I would say it it's closer to the truth than this lot.