Elven Hell.

Rating: 3/10 (14 June 2006)

Will Ferrell is funny. This movie is not.
In *Elf*, Ferrell is Buddy, a normal-sized human raised by Santa's elves (hence, thinks himself an elf), who is sent out into the world ostensibly to find his real daddy, but in reality to get his clumsy, over-sized derriere out of the tiny toy factory.
In Christmastime New York, still wearing his elf getup, he discovers his father is Sonny Corleone, which must make him Andy Garcia.
Rounding out the cast are bland Zooey Deschanel, inattentive Faizon Love, untalented Andy Richter, drunk Artie Lange, gruff Edward Asner, and cameos by Amy Sedaris, Kyle Gass and director Jon Favreau.
Another of those Santa-Is-Real films, with the paradox of insufferably obtuse parents not believing in him even though toys must mysteriously appear under the tree every year.
Gags that "pop" in a 30-second trailer fall absolutely flat in the context of the film and of course, The Message of "everyone needs to believe in a Fantasy to quell their inherent loathsome selfishness" is delivered with the subtlety of Rosie O'Donnell cannonballing nude into a public swimming pool.
Sonny Corleone must whack Santa, and Buddy must whack Joey Zaza as revenge for wiping out the New York dons and everyone lives happily ever after.
That's not how it ends. That's just my Christmas wish.