"Goodbye Mr Narwhal"....

Rating: 8/10 (28 December 2008)

Why is British Christmas TV so damned depressing?There is an annual Yuletide Cull in all our favourite soaps,characters we have let into our homes for months or years get raped,pillaged,bludgeoned or stabbed or emotionally destroyed with indecent haste over a four day period,leaving us rubbing our eyes with disbelief.Of all the Christmas Specials only "The Royle Family" was even vaguely uplifting.As Jim Royle would say,"Happy Christmas - my ar*e!"So in desperation I scoured "Radio Times"(other listings magazines are available)for a movie to get me out of the slough of despond."Santa Claus - the movie" lasted 10 minutes,a multitude of "Chrismas Carol" clones had me reaching for the Amontillado."A matter of life and death"?A fine movie but hardly likely to warm the cockles of my heart........"Elf"?Never heard of it.With nothing to lose except my taste for mince pies I turned to Filmfour as I have so often done more in hope than anger before.Bingo!! "Elf" is 100% a Christmas movie.It has elves in it(honest!),reindeer,some cute North Pole creatures including a wonderfully surreal narwhal that pops its head out of the water to say farewell to Buddy(Mr W.Ferrell) as he leaves on his Odyssey to the Big Apple. Chief amongst the elves is the wonderfully laconic Mr B.Newhart - remembered with affection by my generation for his brilliantly inventive one - sided telephone conversations.His is the voice - over that helps the story move along. What I loved most about "Elf" was its unremitting optimism,its belief in the inherent decency of mankind despite all the evidence to the contrary not only in 2003 but even more so today. It has all the wonder and innocence of childhood and the deeply - held conviction that we lose rather than gain wisdom as we grow older. Mr J.Caan,splendid as Buddy's natural father, is a deeply suspicious man totally unable to accept his newly - acquired son at face value.Miss M.Steenburgen - perhaps more in touch with her inner child - has an immediate empathy with him.Here is an actress who has grown more beautiful and honest as she has got older. With all the best bits from many earlier Christmas movies lovingly embedded,"Elf" is a pure pleasure for adult or child. Together with its diametric opposite,"Scrooged",it will certainly play at my house for many Christmasses to come,and as far as I'm concerned the BBC can go and jump for their licence fee next year.