The worst kind of garbage.

Rating: Null/10 (5 December 2003)

Knowing beforehand who was in this movie and who directed it I was expecting a masterpiece of a movie, to rival the likes of Beetlejuice or Batman - instead, I had to sit and watch Johnny Depp do a reasonably good impression of a man with too many valium inside him and an over-abundance of "mood-lighting" and misplaced SFX.
It seems that everyone on the planet who has given an opinion but me loved this flick, and I think it must be something they were putting in the food at the time it was released or something, because nearly 14 years after I first saw this film, I am still trying to find something not to hate about it.
I guess this is the culprit for allowing over-produced schmaltz to become "blockbusters" and as such, Tim Burton should be sent immediately to Movie-Jail (without passing "Go" and without collecting umpty-zillion dollars so that this kind of crap can NEVER be inflicted upon the world again!) After all, if the public would swallow this crap, they'd swallow ANY garbage that has a great director, a great producer, great cast, and a script that was written by a bunch of chimpanzees on Ecstacy.
For more examples of the "Written-By-Monkeys-On-Drugs" movies, I can highly recommend Titanic, Pearl Harbor, Cutthroat Island, and maybe Vanilla Sky or Batman & Robin ..... As an alternative to watching Edward Scissorhands or any of the other above-mentioned films, I could suggest laying in the road and letting someone beat you with a baseball bat as a better way to spend your time .... probably less painful and better for you in the long run.