Where's a Xenomorph when you need it?

Rating: 3/10 (21 December 2012)

Plot: A small alien creature is accidentally left on earth by its own kind and must now survive and find a way to get back home.
By all means I'm not biased against this movie. I've only seen it two times in my life. #1 when I was 7 years old where I cried like a wuss in the finale and #2 Now, in my thirties where I try figuring out whether this movie sucks or the child in me is dead. However, despite my age and my ZERO memories of the movie I had no false expectations. I didn't expect a dark sci-fi tale, I didn't expect logic, I didn't expect breathtaking action of any sort. What I DID expect was a cute, funny and somewhat sugary 80's kiddy fairy tale about a boy and his new alien friend. So what went wrong? The movie starts and we wait, and we wait, and we wait. Then a glimpse of the alien! Then we wait and wait and wait while the boy tries meeting him. Then we wait and wait and wait while the boy tries communicating with the alien. NOW we wait and wait and wait while the ALIEN tries to communicate with the boy. And in about an hour the EVIL ADULTS come forth and take the alien thus starts the quest to save it. Still awake? Still interested to watch this "classic"? Well if the awful pacing of the movie isn't something bad for you the lack of any entertainment value and the overdose of cuteness will do the trick.
The movie simply isn't fun. The humor is okay for a movie of its kind but I can only remember 2 or 3 mildly fun scenes in the film and they aren't exactly "classic" material. The characters are boring and way too cute and politically correct for my tastes. It's your classic "Awwwwww" movie and I can handle a certain amount of cuteness alright, (I've seen ALL Disney animation films), but this movie went overboard. Each scene which involves the 3 kids and the alien, (especially when Drew is around), all you see is kids with their mouths wide open, (the Spielberg look like a reviewer cleverly commented), then the alien does something "funny" or full of sensitivity and Awwwwww or if you are like me ARRRGGGH!!! Well I'm 29 years old and I did shed a tear with Toy Story 3. I did laugh my ass with Back to The Future and I enjoyed the similarly dumb Gremlins. While watching E.T. I could see the strings that Spielberg tried to pull with my bare eyes. I'm sure he masterfully managed to manipulate a lot of 5-9 year olds into loving this crap but honestly how on earth did this film managed to become such a huge phenomenon??? The child in me died you say? Good riddance!!!
FINAL VERDICT: Rent a Disney movie instead (1/10)
[+] Good special effects for its time [-] Very slow paced. Boring and way too cute & sugary.
Also Check: Back To The Future (1985) – Cocoon (1985) - Gremlins (1984) - Toy Story (1995)