Total snoozefest

Rating: 1/10 (21 January 2018)

Don't assume I dislike this movie because I'm not a fan of the artform of movies. This is a... beautiful movie. And I don't mean to reduce the fact that it's a true and tragic story, but it was boring as hell the way Nolan told it. I can see I am a minority in this, but come on, really? This movie has no characters and barely any plot. The only drive is getting people off a beach. Why? They have 400k healthy troops just standing around while their being bombed and, supposedly, their perimeter is shrinking. You say I should read up on this battle before watching a movie? That's like reading a book to read another book, it doesn't make sense and it's just bad storytelling. Very pretentious movie, and what a cheesy line from Kenneth Branagh when he sees the civilian ships. Ugh.
I am a fan of both war-movies and Nolan's other work, but what am I supposed to be feeling here? The "war is hell" message have already been established in plenty of better movies. I guess if you're a history fan or from Great Britain you might enjoy this, but if I wanted to learn about this battle I would've watched a documentary. Alas I wanted to be entertained, not educated.
Also, in WW2 bomber planes had a 4% chance of a bomb landing in a 2000 meter radius of their target! But boats in this movie are apparantly easier to sink than in the boardgame. Maybe WW1 had better bombers, or maybe it's just a bad film.
Tom Hardy didn't disappoint. I think he pulled off writing chalk on his dashboard just fine.