The Worst Movie Ever Made

Rating: Null/10 (28 January 2009)

For the past few years M. Night Shymalan's "Signs" has been my personal choice for the title of "worst movie ever made", but all of that changed when I watched "Driven".
Where to begin? The script for this movie is unbelievably bad. The main conflict driving the narrative is basically that if rookie Jimmy Bly doesn't win the championship, the team owner played by Burt Reynolds is going to cut him loose. This is beyond ridiculous. In the world of open-wheel racing, for a rookie to finish on just one single podium in a season would constitute a successful year! Stallone also (of course) throws in a love-triangle in an attempt to spice things up, but since it was never even clear whether Bly and Warren consummated their relationship the culmination of the storyline where she "breaks up" with him doesn't make much sense except in retrospect. There's not even a real antagonist in this film, as the racer who at the beginning appears to be it eventually comes a sympathetic character.
Now, you might think this is one of those movies that you can enjoy as long as you just sit back and watch the action scenes. Well, in Driven you can't, because apparently the director lacked the skill to make an authentic, exciting race scene, so we're subject to absolutely ridiculous crashes ("several cars involved!" squeal the announcers) that are laugh-out-loud funny to anybody remotely familiar with open-wheel racing.
The much-talked about street race is the most engaging part of the film, as ridiculous as it may be, but even still is hampered by the fact that there's no real point to it. Where is Jimmy Bly trying to go? It makes no sense. It culminates with an atrociously written scene between Tanto and Bly ("YOU DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE ANYMORE!") and absolutely no legal repercussions for the two characters.
I don't throw around the "Worst Movie Ever" label often, but after you watch Driven, you'll be hard pressed not to join me.