I wish I could have those two hours of my life back

Rating: 1/10 (11 August 2008)

I may not have enough words available to me to truly articulate how terrible this movie was, but I have to try for the sake of anyone that may be contemplating a viewing. To put it most succinctly, this movie was a two hour beer commercial, with scene after scene of loud noises and attractive people smiling. It assaults your senses in a way that only appeals to preadolescent boys, or men that ceased growing intellectually after the 7th grade. After the movie I headed straight for the mountains of Busch; and not because of the subliminal association to coors or budweiser, but in an attempt to kill the brain cells that were harboring the wasteful and trite images that Sly produced. I would rip the plot, but I was not able to identify one concretely. I would rip the writing, but this review is likely longer than the script. I am sorry Sly, but this movie is an insult to the sensibilities of the American people and it makes me curious as to where Rocky actually came from. P.S. - I saw this movie at a $1 theater, and in retrospect I would rather have a double cheeseburger...gross.