A hilarious homoerotic love story.

Rating: 2/10 (31 December 2003)

This movie is so bad! It is absolutely terrible. I wish Sylvestor Stallone would do us all a favor and get out of movies altogether. His movies suck, he sucks and his films will always suck. I got the DVD version of driven. I listened to the audio commentary to hear how Stallone could justify the existence of this appalling film. At one point in the commentary Stallone states how a scene where Stallone's character and Burt Reynolds character argue was very hard to write. Then he states that he finds that ALL SCENES ARE HARD TO WRITE IN MOVIES!!! This is the level of incompetence that we are dealing with here.
All of the acting, if you can call it that, is inept. Kip Pardue has a constant blank expression and looks like he has been sniffing the petrol that his car runs on. Although, there does seem to be sexual tension between Pardue and Til Schweiger. Obviously they can't express their love for one another so they need to use Estella Warren to do this. She jumps from one man to another, like they are playing pass the parcel. Warren acts like someone dropped her on the head as a child. She has a blank look that rivals Purdue and she even seem to consider blinking to be acting. Keanu Reeves would be proud of these actors and their complete lack of skill. You even have Stallone as the mentor who shows Purdue, ahem, the ropes. Did he use lubricant? All this to capture Schweiger's heart. I hope he appreciates it. Reynolds even develops a tear in his eye....awwww.
Not that the actors have much to work with. Stallone writes the characters in such a two dimensional manner that cardboard cut ups of Mr T and William Shatner seem more multi-layered and emotionally complex. Stallone even has a very fruity looking Burt Reynolds as the voyeur. He loves to watch young men with their shirts off racing each other. He wants to race and envies the young racers as they make love passionately. We know this because STALLONE SPELLS IT OUT AT LEAST THREE TIMES FOR EACH NEW PLOT STRAND!!! There is no ambiguity here. The viewer is handed everything on a platter.

The track becomes the symbol where Pardue tries to prove his love for Schweiger. What should be happening in the bedroom is actually happening on the track. With the fast cars slipping, sliding and banging each other. Yep, this film is as gay as Top Gun! The last scene is hilarious. The characters hold phallic symbols of bottles of champagne and everyone showers frothy champagne over each others bodies. In one last big homosexual orgy! Awww, how sweet, we knew these guys would get together.
Then there is the issue of female representation. Gina Gershon is the ball busting ex wife and Warren is that girl from special school who is still wearing nappies. Retards and bit**es. Hmmmnnn.. surely gay men think of women more than this.
The film is not even saved by its special effects. The special effects of the race is tacked on. It seems to jump from a playstation racer game then back to the movie.
Its all just to horrible and only worth watching for its camp value. I give 2 out of 10 and just cannot believe that Kip Pardue is an actor.