So Slow So Boring

Rating: Null/10 (25 February 2013)

Come on you guys who write massively long reviews of this terrible film using words like "retro" and "art-house flair"... Give me a break! We all know you work for the company or are paid to make these ridiculously over-complimentary reviews.
The only reason this film lasts as long as it does is because Ryan Gosling has a prompter in the background who has to tell him every line before he then repeats it parrot fashion.
If anyone spoke to me like that in real life, I would ask him if (1) was he deaf? (2) has he got a problem speaking? (3) is he trying to decide which of the many retorts he has running around his head is the best one? The conversations that the driver has with just about everyone in this film are non-human. No one is so slow at responding as this guy. And just because he takes half a minute to speak does NOT mean that what he has to say is in any way any more worth hearing. It is usually rubbish.
And at the end when he is bleeding in his car and we are waiting for something - anything - to happen, are we supposed to be relieved that he is still alive? I wasn't. I'd would have put another hole in his gut just to get the film over and done with.
This film missed by a mile. It could have been good, but failed miserable.