What could have been mesmerising winds up meandering

Rating: 2/10 (7 January 2012)

Let me first clarify before the flames begin: I love a slow-burning film. I love a slowly simmering plot culminating in a carefully realised finale. Most of my favourite films are from an era when the audience was given a bit more credibility as to their intelligence and patience.
So, by rights I should find something in this film to forgive, but I just can't get over the many monumental cinematic roadblocks blocking such satiation.
I recently saw Valhalla Rising, a previous offering from the same director, and while that story was perhaps slightly too simplified to make room for ambiguous interpretations, it was still a visceral and visual triumph. Where did that director go? And who is this new guy? This film is a mess. Exquisite cinematography and precise focus would have been a big redeemer if it wasn't for the most exaggerated usage of the now popular 'Hollywood Teal and Orange' colour-retouch. In this film, it has now progressed into a garish blue and yellow affair that saturates everything on screen. Once you notice it, the fact that most background props are coloured either blue, yellow or orange where possible is a jarring experience. I was shocked and surprised when Ron Pearlman showed up in a purple sweater. He later showed up in a blue shirt and yellow tie...
Visuals aside, the acting is for the most part too wooden. This might be down to a lot of miscasting, especially for the protagonists. Ryan Gosling just does not have effortless machismo, so the excruciatingly long periods of his silently brooding come off looking as though he forgot his lines. Carey Mulligan appears vapid and disinterested in her role and Christina Hendricks has a brief cameo as confused girl No 2.
While there are good performances from Ron Pearlman, Oscar Issac, Bryan Cranston and Albert Brooks, their lack of screen time and poorly thought out characters ultimately waste good actors in bare-bones roles.
So there is one thing left that could have saved the movie from all these huge flaws; a compelling story to divert our attention from the miscast actors, garish visuals and strange normalisation levels when it comes to sudden eruptions of car sounds...
Lucked out again guys. The story is exceedingly standard fare, trimmed down to make room for long periods of silence and filler scenes. It could be told in 20 minutes and not appear rushed.
What all this adds up to a flat, meandering, convoluted film that will leave you feeling not a little disappointed and let down by all the hype. I realise it's a tribute film, but the originals were better... by far.