This movie fails on so many levels

Rating: 1/10 (3 October 2011)

I'm not sure where people are getting off calling this an action-gone-Indie film (FILM?!?!) with "genius" development and timing. WTF?!?! 1. Even if you can look past the complete lack of action (or any real driving scenes, for that matter) you should not ignore that this movie makes no sense. Ryan Gosling is marketed first as a heist driver, then as a stunt man/mechanic... then some sort of savant in the driving world ... then his investors end up blacklisting him because he coincidentally gets involved with them through a robbery with his next door neighbor... an illogical plot twist that is never explained or clarified in any capacity.
2) Even if you can appreciate the cliché 80's style (right down to the font used in the title/credits... good one guys...) it doesn't actually work if the main character drives a 2010 Chevy Impala and caries an iPhone. I get where they were going with the ridiculous scorpion jacket and blah blah blah - but again, it doesn't work. Whoever developed the (pretentious-assed... if you don't get it then you're not indie and cool enough) soundtrack should be shot.
3) This movie never gets past the drama-that-isn't. Whether through RIDICULOUSLY drawn out pauses ("almost autistic"... to quote another review), overdone gore (but no actual driving... WTF???), terrible lines ("This car would be a pussy-mobile!" or "The tires still have tread" when referring to a recently purchased, $300,000 stockcar)... it almost gets painful. I laughed so hard I cried.
I don't know, maybe I missed something - but I have ZERO idea why this movie is getting the ratings it is. I even like overdone noir stuff, but this is just crap. FAIL.