Robot Zombie Ryan Gosling sleepwalks through snooze fest.

Rating: 3/10 (16 September 2011)

WEEKLY MOVIE REVIEW : DRIVE
ONE-LINE REVIEW : Robot Zombie Ryan Gosling sleepwalks through snooze fest.
RATING : Don't Waste Your Money (Rating Scale: "See it in the theater," "Wait for the instant download", "Don't waste your time.")
A Hollywood stunt driver (Driver, Ryan Gosling) works as a mechanic by day and dabbles in getaway car action by night. He lives down the hall from very cute Irene (Carey Mulligan). She has an adorable son Benicio (Kaden Leos) who is befriended by Driver and Driver takes a keen interest in Irene as well. However, Irene's husband, Standard (Oscar Isaac) is released from jail and is being forced to rob a pawn shop to repay protection money from when he was in the slammer.
Meanwhile, back at the auto shop: Driver's boss is hapless shop owner Shannon (Bryan Cranston) who goes into business with local mob boss Bernie Rose (Albert Brooks) and partner mob boss Nino (Ron Perlman). They want to employ Driver to race cars and make legitimate money.
Driver decides to help Standard and so becomes intwined in a twisted tale of bad guys and badder guys. And we're off...
I am always nervous when the title credits for a movie are in fluorescent pink. I believe "Cocktail" with Tom Cruise set the standard for me. And the harbinger of bad flicks still works as this movie was the dullest movie I've sat through, ever.
I saw Ryan Gosling for the first time in "Crazy Stupid Love." I guess he's some sort of heart-throb. I liked him in that movie as a sleazy lounge lizard who has a change of heart. However, the actor that performed that part was nowhere to be seen in "Drive." In fact, his performance was so bland anyone, even a cardboard cutout could have played the role. He literally never blinks an eye in this film. He never displays much more than the slighted bit of emotion.
And for a movie about a stunt driver, and named "Drive" for that matter, there is a shocking lack of automobile action. The movie opens with a car chase of sorts that never gets over 35 MPH. I've seen more car action in children's movies than in this.
I believe director Nicolas Winding Refn and writer Hossein Amini were shooting for something like "Taxi Driver." There, the lead was a complex character with delusions of grandeur. Driver is no such complex beast. He is as emotionless when driving as when kissing and killing.
This is such a non-movie with no substantial roles for any player in it that I recommend you "Don't waste your time."