My eyes are bleeding and I want to punch a kitten

Rating: 1/10 (11 February 2012)

This was the worst movie I've ever seen in my life. I was looking for chopsticks to poke my eyes out as this would have been more pleasant. The dialogue was a total of 2 paragraphs, and Ryan Gosling spends at least 60 minutes of the movie staring at the world far beyond and when he does decide to speak, he usually utters between 1-3 words. I haven't felt so tense in a long time. I was begging for something to happen. Everything feels so slow moving that it makes you anxious. It's like the director took tranquilizers and decided that the pace should be slower than death. I will devote my life from now on to discover why this movie has an 8/10 in IMDb and mostly how and why it got nominated for an Oscar and 50something other nominations. I'm proceeding now to cry in fetal position until I fall asleep. The other 2 people watching the movie with me feel exactly the same.