Do not be fooled

Rating: 1/10 (5 April 2012)

Though I use IMDb all the time, this is the first review I have written; after sitting through nearly 2 hours of mind-numbingly boring pretentious drivel I thought it only fair that I warn others before they fall into the same trap that I did.
With a rating of 8 stars I was looking forward to watching this film but after watching it I can only conclude that this massively inflated score is part of a film industry inside joke. Someone, somewhere, is laughing it up while innocent film fans waste hours of their lives on what I can only describe as the worst film since Twilight. And trust me; I do not say that lightly.
What can possibly be so wrong with this film that you mention it in the same breath as the film that did for cinema what Hitler did for the Jews I hear you ask? I only have 1000 words but I'll try to get most of it in. The direction is pretentious and boring, more suited to a real-time plant growing nature documentary than what is billed as a supposed action film. Overly long shots of people not saying or doing anything robs the film of any chance it may have of developing a modicum of pace within the confines of a truly awful script. And I mean Awful. The sum total of dialogue could be contained on a few scraps of toilet paper and would have probably been put to best use in the same fashion. Acting is so-so, with some good moments from Cranston and Brooks, but by the end of the film I could not fund it in myself to care about a single character; so I can't even be bothered talk about the acting.
There are some good moments, the violence scenes are original and excellently done, although I couldn't help but feel as I witnessed a man being stabbed in the eyeball with a fork that it would probably be less painful than what I have just had to sit through.
I am normally not this scathing but I thought it was the only way I could get across how diabolical this movie is. Do not be fooled into watching it.
PS why didn't I talk about the driving in a film called drive? There is none. Not unless you include 2 sequences which have as much in common with a good car chase as George Bush does with anything that has the mental age of a 4 year old (that includes dogs).