Drive On

Rating: Null/10 (28 September 2011)

Plot: A garage mechanic who moonlights as a getaway driver does a job for the ex-con husband of the girl he loves but when it goes wrong he finds himself hunted by gangsters.
Loadsa hype, great trailer, rubbish execution. Modern day neo-noir (with 80s overtones - great font, lousy music) about an ultra-competent specialist (like the late 1960s/70s crime flicks - think Bullitt, The Getaway). But all the car related plots (garage, NASCAR, stunt driving) get dumped at the halfway mark as it turns into a badly paced and dull revenge flick full of plot holes (why does nobody go after Mulligan?) with Ryan Gosling killing people in the nastiest manner possible. When people say this is bloody they mean it: the killings, replete with over the top blood effects, are nasty and pornographic. I suspect the director (infamous for being beastly to female staff on shoot) isn't a very nice guy.
Big problem is the script (by Hossein Amini of the lousy Four Feathers remake). In fairness the original script was 138 pages long whilst this film is 100 minutes (1 page = 1 minute in scriptwriting) so maybe something got lost in the cuts. There is so little dialogue that the cast of great actors mostly have nothing to do. Ryan Gosling is almost autistic whilst his romance largely consists of snooze inducing locked- eyes marathons with Carey Mulligan. Best bit: a diner scene where they get the light wrong and the sunlight makes Gosling's ears go bright red. Second best: Gosling, Mulligan and the adorable Latino kid frolicking next to a sun drenched sewage outlet. Third best: admiring the size of Ron Perlman's head. Is it me or has it grown?
If you've ever wanted to watch Christina Hendricks get her head blown off with a shotgun in slow motion and close up then this is the film for you. If you're looking for old-fashioned things like character, plot or entertainment then look elsewhere.