"I've made a huge mistake..."

Rating: 3/10 (28 August 2009)

Let me preface this by saying that I'm not entirely a horror buff. By any stretch of the imagination. I've really liked some of the J-horror I've seen, the American remake of "The Ring", plus Spanish horror like REC and the excellent "The Orphanage". "The Descent" was also thoroughly enjoyable. I do know a good horror film when I see one, I just don't actively seek them out. I've never seen any of the Evil Dead series and am therefore unfamiliar with Mr Raimi's works.
I went into this film knowing nothing. I've recently moved from one country to another so I haven't been keeping up-to-date on new films in cinemas. I've seen no trailer, promotional materials or anything for this film, so I went in knowing absolutely nothing except that my friends wanted to see it. I was not expecting what I saw.
I have a confession to make: I thought it was a comedy. Hand on heart, honest to God, after some of the first shock moments, the deadpan delivery of lines by the heroine, the gratuitous goo and chin-sucking (mentioned in other reviews) and some of the witty dialogue in the bank and the dinner party scenes, I thought this whole thing was more like "Severed". Some sort of elaborate parody of every cliché in the horror genre. From the first frame to the end credits and the car ride home, I thought this was something akin to "Not Another Stupid Horror Movie". However, whereas "Severed" had some genuinely gruesome and shocking moments, only a few scenes in this film actually gave me a jump. After a while, I thought that this lacklustre dark comedy wasn't quite as funny as I initially expected. After one too many uses of the deafeningly loud creaking gate, wind and house creaks, I thought Sam Raimi and co. were really milking some of their jokes. During the car fight, I chuckled. The séance? I chuckled. The goat? That was just ridiculous. Even for a parody of the genre, that seemed a step way too far.
Imagine, then, my complete surprise when I come to IMDb to see that this is genuinely meant to be a horror film! Folks, there are only two bits in this film which are actually scary in any way SPOILERS: a quick flash of tortured images and fire when the fortune teller takes the heroine's hand, and a dream sequence involving an open window and an unexpected bedfellow. That's it. END SPOILERS. The rest of the film is just plain silly. As a comedy, it's not great. As a horror film? The fact that I didn't even recognise it as such may be the biggest indication I can give.
I left the cinema thinking that it was one of the strangest attempts at black humour I'd seen. After reading some of the reviews on this site, I don't even know what to think any more. This film has stumped me. At least I now know: never let my friends choose films that I don't know of.