Drag Me To Hell dragged my soul into the depths of this atrocity.

Rating: 2/10 (24 July 2018)

Admittedly, I have not been looking forward to reviewing this. With the enthusiastic reception garnered by both critics and audiences, I knew my opinion would be a controversial one. Alas, where would we be without opinions. So, here's mine: Drag Me To Hell is irrefutably terrible. "Modern day classic"...are you actually kidding me? It's just insanity. A loan officer is cursed after not extending a mortgage for an elderly woman which, after three days, will result in her being dragged down to hell. You can give me the "Raimi resurrected his classic comedy horror" or "it's supposed to be campy" excuses all you like, trust me I've heard them all. But after watching this four times throughout my life, I just cannot comprehend the adoration for this "horror". To purposefully make a film that's designed to be bad makes no sense to me. There's no enjoyment. No thrills. No legitimate scares. Heck, it's not even nostalgic Everything, and I mean everything, is abysmal. Lohman's acting, Raimi's unfocused direction, excessive jump scares, horrific visual effects, the obtusely dull conclusion, monotonous screenplay and the formulaic premise. The persistence of utilising the elderly woman's mouth to excrete maggots, flavoursome juices and probably discharge was wholly unnecessary. Way too many gross moments. It seemed Raimi loved reusing the same scenes to create laughs, whether it be ripping Lohman's hair or people whispering "Lammmmiaaaaaa", except it failed to make me laugh. The jump scares themselves just come out of nowhere, to the point where after the tenth scare you start to predict the film's next move. Do not even get me started on the goat seance. I will say the ghost slap at the start of the film was perfect, the sound effect was just beautiful. Seriously though, have I missed something? Honestly? Because as far as I'm aware, a bad film is a bad film. Whether you're intentionally creating atrocities or not. Residing in Hell would be more fun that watching this again. 'Army of Darkness' this is not.