Don't let sentimentality override good judgment.

Rating: 3/10 (21 November 2009)

No spoilers here, just some general points. This movie is a poor attempt at recreating something like The Evil Dead, but if the fact that I laughed through this entire flick tells you anything, it should be that it's not a horror movie. Not by a longshot. It's more like a disgusting comedy, with a lot of things that are so badly done that they make you laugh instead of scaring you, and a lot of really gross stuff thrown in to try to make you stop laughing.
The movie didn't really look interesting from the advertisements but I gave it a chance because it's Sam Raimi. In terms of quality, think less "Spider-Man" and more "Evil Dead 2" with a bigger budget. And then even if you liked The Evil Dead 2, think of this as an even less-scary version of the same basic idea. (To be fair, I did enjoy TED and TED2, and particularly TED3: Army of Darkness, but they weren't very scary unless maybe you were 12 when you saw them.) Then again, any time they refer to a movie as having a "cult following" it usually means it sucked but some people liked it anyway.
Compounding the facts that this movie wasn't scary, overly interesting, or particularly well-done is the fact that at its root, it's an 1:39 Mac commercial. Yes, it stars Justin Long, the infamous "Hello, I'm a Mac" tool who already owns your television for a good portion of the day by virtue of his employer's bloated advertising budget. The man should stick to Mac commercials because his acting is appallingly bad, so much so that my wife said he could easily be Keanu Reeves' son. Everyone in the movie has an iphone, and uses a Mac, because Macs are great computers. Oh wait, no, it's because Justin Long works for Apple, and Apple blows ridiculous amounts of money on "subliminal" advertising. Say, how come those "I'm a Mac" commercials never mention that Apple would've gone out of business if PC, er, Bill Gates hadn't bailed them out? Ooops.
Back to the movie - overall the characters were very caricature-ish, hardly believable, the story was weak, the acting was bad, it wasn't scary, and the special effects - well, they were Sam Raimi-ish, if that means anything to you; again, think Evil Dead 2 with a bigger budget. All in all, a total failure of a movie, and don't let the people who are still pining over The Evil Dead and its sequel convince you otherwise. This movie is BAD.