Dragged to Hell

Rating: 5/10 (31 May 2009)

Though it was nice to see Raimi return to his true roots after all-but selling out to 'Spider-Man' with 'Drag Me to Hell,' unfortunately, this really appeared to be an overlong 'Tales from the Crypt' episode. Sure, that's not necessary a bad thing; it's always nice to get that feeling again when we were kids/young adults growing up on such horror classics such as 'Crypt' or Raimi's 'Evil Dead' series. (And before I move on, I would like to clarify, I really did like Spidey 1/2, but comparatively speaking, most of Raimi's best work is with horror/suspense, such as: 'A Simple Plan.') In 'Hell' we have bank employee yearning for a promotion over an eager new employee. She has other life problems, but none as great as the curse an old gypsy woman bestows upon her after she denies a third extension on her foreclosing home, in order to lock in the promotion. For three days, legend states, she will be tormented and then, literally dragged to hell. Unless, of course, she can find one of many loopholes. What I liked about 'Hell' is the head-on obvious horror movie clichés, not attempting to hide, but embracing them, never taking itself too seriously. And sure most of the film was for shock/scare value, vomit and other liquids poured into her mouth, etc.
But, as always there's holes: woman waits 40 years for another chance at defeating the main demon, however charges the main character $10,000 she doesn't have for the séance. That's like getting hired for the job you really wanted and asking the interviewer, "Are you sure you made the right choice?" Also, if she truly is the vegetarian she claimed to be, how come she made that cake with eggs? Isn't that considered murder? I'm not sure, since I'm a meat eater, but isn't even cracking eggs, or worse, beating them, kind of harsh on what could've been a life? And the closing climax was obvious 20 minutes prior, so it takes awhile to see what we already know what's coming. Still, recommended for the demon-horror movie fans.
Side note: My job at work is to help people save homes. I was laughing out loud prior to this movie, as it very well could've been a five minute movie (including opening and closing credits) as if just that bank employee simply referred the gypsy over to my agency or a similar HUD certified housing counseling company. The lady would avoid the curse, the gypsy would've continued her black magic alone at home, the bank would've profited. Everyone wins. Well, except the audience that spent 10+ dollars on a five-minute film. This is probably the reason I've never been invited to Hollywood studio board meetings. Well, probably.