This film will literally "Drag (You) to Hell"...

Rating: 1/10 (21 June 2013)

Nothing says "Horror-ible" like Justin Long. The fact that anyone on planet earth could rate this utter piece of crap above 2 stars is far more terrifying than this low rent excuse for a movie(?) could ever be. The supposed "horrors" in this film have less teeth than the gypsy, while the picture's corresponding score reeks far worse than the pathetically fake vomit that makes an appearance more than once. I don't know what movie other people saw, but I'm beginning to completely lose faith in humanity. This turd in the punchbowl could make Yahweh himself check out early. It could make Larry King run away like Michael Johnson. It could make Mother Theresa want to murder a puppy. Jesus would rather be crucified over and over again than watch this movie once. William Shatner shat on this very movie--and when Bill squats over something, you know it's sucking balls big time. In the name of civil disobedience, I'm sending this P.O.S. back to Netflix in two distinct pieces to hopefully give the next sucker who tries to rent this one a couple of extra days to actually read through the justifiably miserable reviews instead of just trusting the rating that is still about 6 stars too high. I wouldn't dishonor my toilet by flushing this monstrosity down it. I would much rather be violated in a federal prison by a gang of angry ex-truckstop queens than have to watch this again. I didn't know my eyeballs and cochlea could feel so much pure, unadulterated physical pain. I feel guilty like I should repent for putting myself through this unforgivable experience. I now know what hell really is. This film really can "drag" you there.