No Sleepless Nights Here

Rating: 4/10 (1 December 2009)

I'll admit firstly that I hate horror movies. I hate watching them and loving them and then not being able to sleep for a week. And knowing that the mark of the best horror movies is that inability to sleep.
I'll admit secondly that after seeing the trailer for Drag Me To Hell, I was genuinely looking forward to it. And I even braved myself to watch it well after the sun had set.
Yawn. Is it over yet? I was really disappointed. Because I lost so much interest about twenty minutes into the movie, I missed a lot of the fun stuff. Those holes in the story that critics love to point out. And this movie was full of them.
But first, let's stick to the horror side of it. And keep it clean. This movie wasn't that. Clean. It was downright disgusting. Which doesn't equate to scary. An old, hideous woman who can't keep her teeth in SUCKING on a girl's jaw is really not scary. And the only time I even thought about closing my eyes was when the old woman threw up bugs and stuff on the girl's face. Yuck. Not eeeek.
Also, I think I've passed the age where a shadow on the wall is scary. It's not about the lack of shock effect. It's just not...scary. Gremlins was scary compared this (and a much, much better movie). Oh, while I'm at it, I would have thought that flying hankies with faces on it would be relegated to Scary Movie type movies. Seriously? Hankies!!! And don't get me started on the talking goat. That was hilarious. For a second. As for the button - was that huge fight really necessary for the old lady to get the button off.
Actually this movie is pretty funny. But in a shake your head funny sort of way. And then the gaping plot holes. I won't point out all - just the first couple remember.
1. The old lady attacks the girl in a parking lot and there's no doubt it was her; and there's no doubt it happened, and the police were there - to take statements and cordon off the area...but not arrest the old lady. Or maybe they did, and she died.
2. This girl has a hellava lot of money for a farm girl who's trying very, very hard to become assistant bank manager. I mean look at the house she lives in. Not a drudgy apartment at all. And yes, she can't raise 10k.
3. anvil? on a rope? in the garage???? 4. She gets a pretty fat lip in the fight in the parking lot. Don't worry, she's part wolverine. She heals pretty quick from all her bumps and bruises.
There's a lot more. But it's not even funny to type out.
So why did I give it a 4. Not a 1.
The sound's awesome. If it wasn't supporting a shadow, a tap dancing Mexican and a hanky, it would be very fitting. The acting is OK. The old lady is convincing, if she had been less disgusting and more scary - yay. Justin Long is miscast but he doesn't do anything wrong. At the end of the day, it's a movie I'd a complain about. But I probably wouldn't be compelled to walk out on it.
And here's a to a good night of sleep.