Best movie, I've ever seen

Rating: 10/10 (8 September 2004)

Spoiler First off, I'd like to say, that I just saw this movie 8 days ago. I honestly can't remember if I heard about it before or not.
I now almost wish I had never seen this movie...
I can't stop thinking about it. I'm 28, been working for 9 years in the same company & love to see movies. I love music, movies & basically the whole "media". I watch on average 5+ movies a week. New rentals or old ones, whatever. I suck it all up.
Since I put this in, I've been constantly haunted by it (literally). I go to bed thinking of it, wake up thinking of it. I've since then watched it 3 more times, in an effort to get it outta me system, to no avail. I can't shake this movie. It has struck so hard a chord with me, that I feel like I've been swallowed whole by it.
I remember putting it in & the first opening scene that 1.5 mins, I knew I'd love the movie & nothing had happened yet. I found myself transfixed by it.
I lost all sense of time & by the time I was finished, it was 4am & I had to get up at 7am for work. I also didn't care when I realized what I had done.
I found myself absorbed by the movie, & I didn't know it, till it was too late. When I did realize how much I was really liking it, I was a lost cause.
I think the reason I'm so attracted (obsessively with no control) is that I can 100% relate to it. I didn't have a therapist & wasn't a schizo, but everything else, from just not feeling attuned to the world. To this day, I've not thought of myself as a normal person. I think differently, react differently & have the ultra rare curiosity of accepting possibilities of things unknown, even though our pathetic tiny use of our brains, doesn't allow one to understand this, or what exactly it may be, but I know there's more to life than ... this.
I feel that was how Donnie was. He was aware of things & "intimidating" by his intellect. He knew on some level, there was something... there. When he finally realizes it, with the help of the "manipulators", he slowly comes to understand it.
I found that I could understand Donnie & even see myself in his place. I remember the 80's, the smurfs, the music & the guru's. Its familiar enough that I can remember details of it.
Donnie is definitely a troubled kid & though I don't consider me teens that way, I did feel outside, even though I got along with everyone (I wore the man suit, as a mask of who I really was). I've read tons of the comments on what the movie was interpreted as & agree with some of it.
I thought, I'd instead post how this movie has affected me & made me completely think of things differently. I don't view the world the same way. I question the choices I've done in life & the life I'm living atm. I find that I'm contemplating things that I want to change & change right now.
The last bit of the movie, I find myself with tears down me face, almost to the point of uncontrollably weeping. I find that I can actually feel what the characters are feeling. I'll admit, that I like the darker side of life & this movie is indeed hauntingly dark. If Donnie was played by a blonde guy, the sound wasn't as haunting & the music wasn't retro (making you remember how things were retro) it'd not have worked for me at all. I'm dark & mysterious like Donnie is. I'd swear on many aspects, he is me twin.
If I even think about the movie, hum the tune in me head, I'm instantly gripped in me gut with the feeling of the movie. I can't honestly put it into words. I've never felt it before. Its sadness, grief, empathy & lastly envy. Its taken me 4 watchings to rationalize this last one. These 4 emotions are not usually all grouped into one, let alone so strongly (hit by a bulldozer strong). I feel envy with him, because at the end, when he laughs, either subconsciously aware of whats happened, aware of it, or just some weird Donnie thing. Whatever anyone's guess as to what & why he laughs, you can tell he is at peace. Peace with himself & the world. This probably wouldn't have had so much impact, had the not not be narrated. Its cause of this, that even though he dies, I envy him, cause he's attained something, I can only hope for, someday.
This movie, due sheerly by its immense hold it has over me, has now become me ultimate favourite. I recommend it to everyone & hope they view life differently as I do.
As odd is it may sound, its almost like this movie created a midlife crisis in me. At the very least, its made me aware of deep emotions that I've been ignoring or not realizing are there. (I feel a therapist calling me name now, lol)
If you want to see a movie, have an open mind & are accepting of things not easily defined, definitely see this one. It is so powerful, thought provoking & emotional on every level, you'll find yourself thinking about your own life. That is if, you get this movie, like I did.
Have a watch & spread the word. Also, I'd say, watch this movie alone. You need to see it, & think on your own, not have someones influence on you. You need this so that your reactions & thoughts are solely yours & yours alone, not what the person next to you is thinking, or gonna think about your reaction. As much as we don't want to admit it, we react differently around people.