100% garbage

Rating: 1/10 (12 February 2005)

Congratulations, world. As if you weren't already flooded with muddy aimless trash, DONNIE DARKO arrives to lower the final fistful of pretentious crud. A big thumb up the rear end of anyone who pretends to think this film is anything but a pandering 1st-year art student's sci-fi/DAWSON'S CREEK homage. One user comment said you have to "see it 3 times to really get it". I'd rather watch my mother get chewed to a pulp by rats than sit through this pathetic waste again. This is a real treat for fans of Drew Barrymore, mullet jokes or the Olsen Twins films. If you seriously think the "twist" ending makes sense, I insist that you spend the rest of the night sucking bullets from a shotgun. A blind deaf caveman with cerebral palsy could make a better movie with his foot. If you disagree, write me. I will drive to your house, kick a hole in your head and listen to all the air squeal out.