Did Donnie the pyromaniac set fire to the script's ending?

Rating: Null/10 (30 August 2007)

When I heard about the large bunny before seeing this large lump of confusion, I was instantly stricken with fear - fear of getting as bored as with the damn unfunny rabbit in "Harvey", one of the worst comedies of all time. Ironically, the rabbit in DD was the best aspect of the movie; the appearance and the voice were effective. However, the story is a bit of a mess; many loose ends, too many irrelevant characters, and an ending that is a major f**k-up. The "grand finale" is a rushed job, so lacking in logic that there is nothing to redeem it. The way Malone gets killed was absurd: her and the gay cowboy getting jumped by the school-bullies was incredibly dumb, and even worse was the way that whole segment was directed: did Kelly run out of money? I doubt it; his inexperience as a 25 year-old writer and director showed. As for the time travel, all we're shown is something vaguely resembling a worm-hole, an absurd scene in which DD's mother and sister are in a plane that is about to crash - and suddenly we're back to day one: DD is dead, killed by that soft jet engine (soft, because it failed to crush the entire house as it should have), and DD sacrificed himself for his love, Malone. Get your handkerchiefs out!
Kelly is the son of a NASA scientist who worked on the 70s Mars mission. That pretty much explains how he managed to get his foot in the door and be a writer/director of a major production at 25. However, it contradicts his lack of understanding of science. Apart from the jet engine failing to completely annihilate the Darko house and everyone in it (due to modern airplanes being made out of sponge, apparently), Kelly also has trouble with the concept of time-travel. Actually, he should have asked his Dad to explain to him a few things about it. Time-travel is VERY tricky in any story, especially when you touch on it with such a lack of seriousness as Kelly does.
Kelly's DD is one big indulgence piece. He plays his favourite childhood songs in their entirety (which in the case of the first Tears for Fears song was quite pleasant, actually), he introduces unnecessary characters just for the hell of it, and he proudly exhibits his left-wing leanings by siding with Dukakis. Kelly was smart enough, though, to know that a script gets sold in Hollywood FAR more easily when it has any kind of pro-liberal Reagan-bashing in it. So predictable...
Any of you aspiring Hollywood writers, remember this: throw in as many politically correct/anti-Republican messages in your stories, and the odds of you selling your script quadruple, at the very least.
The cast is weak. I have rarely seen a movie with this much nepotism in it. Both Gyllenhaal kids are nepotistic brood; but while Maggie is charming (though almost non-present with only several scenes), her brother Jack is an amateur. This gay cowboy's grimacing was occasionally embarrassing to watch, and he simply isn't the caliber of actor/gay cowboy to carry a movie. Jena Malone is cute and quite solid. Swayze, another nepotistic actor, is unconvincing; both the accent and the line-delivery are quite awful. Drew Barrymore? What can I say about Drew?? Awful as ever! However, while I can bear to see her playing airheads, trying to watch her as an English teacher(!) was a chore. It would be like watching Susan Sarandon playing a U.S. President in a drama, complete with her Southern twang, the one she uses so often. Drew's brain is fried with drugs and alcohol she massively stuffed herself with in her PRE-teens, and it really is obvious. She looks as if she hasn't read a book in her life, so the casting is idiotic. But why be surprised: she is one of the executive producers here, so who could stop her from materializing her wish to finally play someone with a three-digit I.Q., that way stroking her own inferiority-complexed ego.
Nevertheless, not all is bad in the DD universe. The movie is close to 2 hours long, yet kept my attention throughout. The drawback about the plot being senselessly convoluted also meant that it wouldn't be as dull. Not exactly riveting and, sure, not much of a story, but few movies are watchable nowadays, which is why the rating here isn't (too) low.
If you want to see my Hollywood Nepotism List, with over 400 photos/explanations entries, contact me by e-mail. Or you can go to http://rateyourmusic.com/~Fedor8 and check out my "TV & Cinema: 150 Worst Cases Of Nepotism" list.