You will be disappointed, I promise you.

Rating: Null/10 (3 January 2003)

A friend, whose judgement I normally value, recommended this to me as a 'must see'. Set in 1988, Donnie Darko is the tale of a troubled American High School Student (yes, yet another one). After 40 minutes of this I was still waiting to be grabbed like my friend was. And here's the rub - you won't be grabbed, believe me. The true test for any piece of fiction is that you care about the characters, or, at the very least, care enough to find out what happens to them. Be honest folks, did you really care about what Donnie's problem was? Of course not. He was a bland, unsympathetic cipher. A lot has been said of the performance by the lead, but I've seen Keanu Reeves turn in more heartfelt and engaging performances. The writer/director has obviously stuck by his 'Youth Films 101' coursebook to a T. There is one excrucitating tacked-on scene where Donnie and his mates discuss the deeper significance of 'The Smurfs'. The director clearly liked Tarantino's deconstruction of 'Like A Virgin' in Reservoir Dogs and has attempted a weak copy himself. NO ONE ever had that conversation (and certainly not teenagers in 1988) and to pretend otherwise is just smug revisionism. There is another scene where, to the strains of 'Head Over Heels' by Tears For Fears, the world goes into slow motion. The viewer expects something to happen. Like the rest of the film, nothing does. Drew Barymore and Patrick Swayze play minor parts. Why? Who knows: they certainly brought nothing special to the table. Set in 1988, the 'special' effects mimic the era also. Strange, translucent 'watery' worms emerge from people (think 'The Abyss'). And what does it all mean? Should you last till the end, you will be very, very disappointed. Chronicle of a death foretold - how original. Don't believe what the 'respected' critics have said about Donnie Darko. It says nothing new and does so in an unoriginal manner.