Dreck, Dross, Dreary, Drippy and Draining

Rating: 2/10 (3 January 2009)

I -really- wanted to like this movie having heard about what a sweepingly glorious epic Zhivago is. I was prepared to be enthralled by a work of high art with a meaningful message and I happily settled into my couch to watch. Three hours later I realized I'd just wasted three hours of my life.
Zhivago is not epic, nor is it high art, nor does it deliver a message other than "Man, it's frickin' cold in Russia"
Why?
1. One-dimensional wooden acting with all the depth of a remedial high school drama class. I expected better from Lean. He did not deliver. The only actor in the movie to even be nominated for an Oscar that year was Tom Courtenay, likely for the wonderfully impressive wax scar he sports.
2. Waaaaay too many dewey-eyed close ups of Omar Sharif's cocker spaniel eyes. Oh wait! Sharif -does- manage to show a level of depth by employing two disarmingly complex Method Acting modes though--teary-eyed AND moist-eyed. Oh, the drama. It would be interesting to count how many shots there are of Sharif looking off into the distance while tearing up. This could be a great drinking game if you took a shot every time Lean inflicted this poor excuse of character development upon the viewer as you'd be quite intoxicated by the end of the movie.
3. A stunningly repetitive musical score that is jammed down the viewer's throat at every opportunity---and I mean every opportunity whether it fits the scene or not. Many times the music simply did not fit the action, yet it was forcibly played in order to remind us of something. Something....what? Oh yeah, that you're watching this terrible movie.
4. Too many storyline coincidences requiring too much suspension of disbelief.
5. The use of mirror shots--at first--was well-done. But then Lean went on and on using mirrors to show character's faces that it grew weird and tedious. Had his DP just graduated film school?
6. The sound design was not well-done. I had a very hard time hearing dialog and eventually resorted to sub-titles.
Watch "Reds" if you want a great movie about the Russian Revolution.
Dr. Zhivago was a great disappointment. I want my three hours back.