Quentin Tarantino - read this!

Rating: 3/10 (8 February 2013)

Quentin Tarantino - if you are reading this, look me up. I will direct your next movie for one U.S. dollar. If I don't get a better rating than Django Unchained, I will return your dollar. Here's what caused me to enjoy your movie the least of all your work...
1: Pacing. It was WAY too long. I found myself nodding off a couple of times. There was FAR to much dialogue, so much so that when an action scene FINALLY arrived, I was too bored and too tired to even care.
2: Sound editing. Does EVERY door need to creak when it is opened? If so, does it have to be the same sound effect for every door? If so, does it have to be the same damn "creaking-door" sound effect that we've been hearing on every single episode of The Simpsons for the past 23 years?
3: Gore. For a movie that was pretty much 3 hours long, there was not enough gore and violence to keep me interested, and when there was gore and violence, it seemed very unrealistic. I might even go so far to suggest that some of it was CGI, which I hate. The blood looked transparent and unrealistic, unlike in your previous works. I have a fantastic recipe for very realistic looking (and edible) fake blood, which looks better than most of the blood in this movie.
4: Characters. I was not sure who the main protagonist was until near enough the third act. I just did not know who to care about, so I didn't care about anyone.
One dollar.