The worst movie I've seen since 'Soul Plane'

Rating: 1/10 (26 December 2012)

I wanted to see this movie for two reasons: 1) I am a big music and movie fan of Jamie Foxx. 2) I wanted to know why Nate Parker turned the movie down and seemed so disappointed in the script when he did an interview on The Breakfast Club.
I didn't know the movie was going to be 2 hours and 45 minutes long nor did I care. I am not a fan of Quentin Tarantino (although I like the John Travolta parts of "Pulp Fiction") but I knew I was going to hear the n-word a lot from watching an interview on "BET's Don't Sleep." Didn't bother me. That's realistic terminology for that time period in slavery. I'm far more irritated by black folks who know the history and are brainwashed enough to think that the term has changed. I read several articles and interviews about how Leonardo Dicaprio had a hard time using the word, but he was playing a slaveowner. That word is a given. I'm a big fan of Samuel L. Jackson and love quite a few Dicaprio flicks, too, so I thought, "How could this be bad? Why didn't Nate Parker like the movie?" This turned out to be the worst movie I've ever seen since "Soul Plane." Comedic timing: Quentin Tarantino did a recent interview in Ebony magazine (Dec 2012) where he said, "One of the characteristics of my work is that I make you laugh at f***** up s***." While there were people in the audience who laughed at random parts of the movie, I never cracked a smile. There's nothing funny to me about the Ku Klux Klan or their rambling about whether the eye holes are too short in their masks. The KKK is the most horrendous group in American history (in my opinion) and trying to make light of them seemed odd to me. Quentin Tarantino said, "I haven't liked any of the representations of slavery that I've seen on film." Slavery isn't meant to be liked. It's meant to be documented. You're not supposed to laugh about it or make light of it or find some amusing cowboy entertainment. It's ugly. It's graphic. It's heavy. And I truly couldn't give a damn about a horse being able to do the robot.
Field slave vs house slave: Judging from the amount of lashes on Django's back, I got the impression that he was a field slave. So why this guy who didn't appear to spend any amount of time inside anybody's slave quarters could speak perfect English and read and was this brown in complexion (complexion meant a helluva lot back then) seemed odd to me. It wasn't until he reached a bar that we started hearing broken English and him saying words he didn't understand but his vernacular was way too crisp. Jamie Foxx said Quentin Tarantino told him he needed to act like a slave. Django was someone I could see strolling down the street in 2012 -- just with outdated clothing on -- if you heard him speak.
Black man on a horse: As hard as Quakers had to hide themselves from affiliation with the Underground Railroad and with the amount of covering up even after the Emancipation Proclamation, racism was more harsh, more violent and more impulsive. So how in the world this random black man could roll through town on a horse and not be shot dead before anybody even asked his comrade why he was there was beyond me. You know how you see action movies and think, "This guy would be dead in three minutes if this was real life"? That's how I felt about Django as soon as he grabbed the winter coat and boots.
Leonardo Dicaprio and Samuel L. Jackson: These were the only two characters in the entire film who seemed realistic. Sam Jackson's character was definitely a house slave (and ironically enough he spoke English in a more broken manner than this obvious field slave Django). Dicaprio wasn't kidding when he said his character was horrible. There were moments when I flinched at some of the stuff his character smiled about, but I was finally starting to get into the film. Same for Sam Jackson.
Kerry Washington: I just found it odd that she went from being in a box and splashed with water after being whipped and then walked around perfectly straight and graceful when she was pulled back into the mansion. While I understand why her character could speak German (she was another realistic house slave) and even why she seemed a bit more cultured than other slaves, I can't see someone being whipped and caged like an animal and then bopping around a dining room like nothing happened.
Bounty hunter scenes: I get why there had to be a bounty hunter plot in order for the relationship to make sense and the rescue-the-wife part, but the bounty hunting scenes were so dreadfully boring. The movie didn't pick up until it started at Dicaprio's character's plantation.
Music: Every time there was a serious scene, there was this obnoxious cowboy music or really upbeat music that contradicted what was going on. It's like playing a techno song in the middle of a guy getting raped in prison. The music never matched the scene. Has Tarantino ever heard of spirituals? Pick one.
The entire film made a mockery of slavery and should've never used that topic. It was basically a cowboy movie with chains. And I hated it. And I'm incredibly annoyed that I ruined part of my Christmas evening paying $8 to see this stupid film.