Splitter splatter

Rating: 3/10 (1 April 2013)

I should have known that when I had seen the trailer I had seen the whole movie. But sometimes I tend to go against my own good judgment. And so I found myself watching a three hour trailer. The first half of the movie you see the unlikely couple of an eloquent German dentist turned bounty hunter and his liberated ex-slave partner killing plenty of supposedly bad guys. You have got to admire how they tracked all these people but you don't get any clue on how they did it. Were these crooks a bit careless on their facebook profiles? Did they track their cell phones? Oh wait, yes 1850. Facebook wasn't so popular than, so it must have been their cellphones.
So there you are, Django looking cool and docter Schultz looking clever shooting a whole bunch of guys until they decide to finally liberate Django's wife. She has already been appearing in Django's visions, strolling through fields looking absolutely lovely and endearing, whenever he had a few seconds to spare between piling up the corpses of all those bad guys of course. He's a romantic at heart. When the wife finally does show up for real, you better understand these visions since in real life she apparently also is best at loving smiles and terrified looks.
So after almost two hours of scenes that were not going anywhere, or better that were preludes to another geyser of blood, I was sort of getting numb and hoped to get rid of that numbness with the appearance of DiCaprio and Samuel L Jackson. I guess they did their best and for some moment I had the idea there was some plot in this 3 hour splasher. But apparently Tarantino got bored with that, gave Samuel L Jackson some psychic capabilities to expose our two heroes and treat the audience to another 30 minutes of sadistic shootouts. How on earth does this movie get so high on IMDb?