Emperor has no clothes

Rating: 1/10 (21 September 2013)

Straight to the top of the most over-rated movies of all time list, easily over-taking Inglorious Basterds at number two. The weaknesses of this director should have been seen through years ago (pretentious music, in-jokes, ridiculously gratuitous references, no chemistry between actors EVER, characters sitting around explaining the plot to each other halfway through etc.) but for some reason millions of people seem ready to fork out admission in order to make the scene. Oh that's right, I remember the reason... the same reason that makes Grumpy Cat a blockbuster YouTube hit and soccer the world's most popular sport... the Dumb are taking over the world.
Strictly for the easily impressed who need Cool spelled out, and actually a cautionary tale of what cocaine can do to a once precociously-talented writer, this is cinema mendacite, both derivative and indulgent... all of Fellini's excess with neither Melville's detachment nor Cassavetes' restraint... perfect for disguising Christoph Waltz's negligible talent but a blot on the copybook of Walton Goggins.
Preposterously stereotyped characters chew plot contrivances so thin the moments of luridly fetishist violence and trite liberal humour need to overlap, exposing trite liberals as more easily pleased by shout-outs than substance, let alone annoyingly happy to re- gargle the latest Tarantino this-and-thats while slouching around water coolers, unaware that a whole other half of the world is as scornful of their tasteless degeneracy as they are desensitized by it.
Congratulations twerps, by scoffing this spicy baby food of dismemberment and buggery with both hands, all you've done is gone and made Christianity edgy. Yes Quentin, we get it, Republicans are evil because daddy didn't love you enough. The morality of Michael Moore meets the aesthetic of Steven Seagal and the ego of Donald Trump. Vile. The emperor has no clothes. Wake up.