Deep Six

Rating: 1/10 (16 September 2010)

I watched this junk for about an hour before I finally gave up. I found no redeeming qualities whatsoever in the film. It plays like an unfunny gross-out comedy done on the cheap by amateurs. There is nothing here to keep you watching the screen. The aliens are actually first-rate CGI, but are completely wasted due to their sickening looks, slavish actions, and general lack of any apparent purpose than to shock and disgust. We may be shocked at first appearance, but that wears off in about 15 seconds. The disgust does not wear off.
There does not seem to be any plot, any decent camera-work, any acting, any direction, any reason to care about anything on the screen. It is as if a middle school film project to create the worst movie possible was responsible for this mess. Actually, that insults middle-schoolers.
I had been warned by every friend that saw this steaming pile of reptile excrement that it was absolutely awful. I decided to see for myself --- how awful it could be? My friends were actually very kind. Mankind has not yet invented adjectives to describe this level of terrible.
Suffice it to say that no one in the movie even deserves mentioning, nor does the "director", but knowing that Peter Jackson was in some way involved tells volumes, and the fact that critic Roger Ebert liked D9 clinches it. No wonder it is bad, really bad, really really really bad. Worse, the worst, horrible, despicable, nauseatingly bad. And I am being quite charitable!