Get this wolf, goat and cabbage across the stream or I BLOW UP NEW YORK!

Rating: Null/10 (5 February 2002)

Bruce Willis and Samuel L. Jackson run around solving puzzles that some screenwriter dug out of a Martin Gardner book while Jeremy Irons strolls around with a master plan to put tons of gold in dump trucks while no one's looking. But that's not the POINT, right? That's just the filler. I know that in an action movie like this, the point is the crazy action sequences - let's have them drive off-road in Central Park! - but the next step for the moviemakers should be to come up with a satisfying (it can be ridiculous, just SATISFYING) reason for any of this to happen. But no. Why do they drive through the park? Jeremy tells them "You need to drive downtown right now really really fast because I say so." That's also why they have to do...well, everything that happens in the movie, more or less. It's so lazy it's distracting.
I was gonna say that the movie has its moments, but it doesn't, really. It just successfully maintains a low-level hum of 'Hey, zany action movie here!' which is, to be sure, a sufficiently comforting thing for a lot of people. But at least the first Die Hard 'had its moments.' So I was a little let down.