Eh... boring, humorless and lacks intensity; so action-less that I don't think it can be classified an action film

Rating: 5/10 (24 June 2004)

*Some heavy spoilers, but confined to one single paragraph, and clearly marked*
This is, by far, the worst in the Die Hard Trilogy. We meet John McClane once again, but now he's no longer funny, he's just a pathetic jerk, who you wouldn't pity if he was dying slowly from a horrible disease. He's given a new "unlikely partner", much like the two previous films... only this time, it's an obnoxious, annoying, whiny, cowardly, loudmouthed black racist, played by Samuel L. Jackson, who delivers an unbelievably unappealing performance. I know this character was supposed to provide comic relief, but most of the time I just felt like knocking him out, if not for anything else, then at least to shut him and his incessant complaining up. The previous two films had action, shoot-outs, chasing, intensity... this has some lame car-chases and a very, very, very, far too long goose-chase that lasts throughout most of the film. The two characters run around, from one bomb to another, but the audience never really feels any actual intensity, or feels that they are in actual danger, since it's the same thing, constantly, over and over.
WARNING! SPOILERS THROUGHOUT THE NEXT PARAGRAPH! DON'T READ THIS UNLESS YOU'VE SEEN THE FILM!
What are we supposed to care about, exactly? The kids, who defy logic and play card games when they've been instructed to follow the cop? Besides, what is there to fear in the movie? Half of the bombs are duds, anyway. And the premise is exactly the same as it was in the first film; Germans who pretend to be terrorist, but who are really just thieves; they kill the guards and put English-talking German thieves in place of them.
SPOILERS OVER.
The film has two or three actual shootouts, and each of them are horribly filmed, as well as the rest of the film. It looks like it was filmed by a kid with a home-video camera. The action was also dull and uninspired. Almost all of it consists of car-chases, and these are some of the most boring of them. Normally I'm not into car-chases at all, but at least Blues Brothers and The Matrix Reloaded put some effort into it. The humor is pretty much the same as in Die Hard 2; nearly everybody has some lame one-liner, if they're not spouting old clichés. The film bases almost all of the action on the long goose-chase, which relies entirely on twists, which means that, at best, you can enjoy watching it once, because the next time you'll know what happens, and you'll just be sitting and staring at the awful camera work. I've seen cheap independent films that are better filmed; honestly. The end is probably the worst cop-out I've ever seen, and definitely the most anti-climactic end ever in an action movie. It's like lighting some very expensive fireworks, only to find out that it's a dud. If you are going to watch this "action" film, against my best advice, be sure to watch it for free; this is in no way worth spending money on at all. All in all, just a lame excuse to make money off of the Die Hard franchise, without actually paying any kind of respect to the characters or previous films(unless ripping off the formula from the first is considered respectful). I don't recommend this to anyone, since I have no idea how anyone could possible find just a little enjoyment or entertainment value in this cinematic garbage. I don't know... maybe if you have really low standards, zero expectations, and you enjoy looking at big explosions that happen for no particular reason other than to show off pyrotechnics... you could give it a try. But don't say I didn't warn you. 5/10