Die Bored

Rating: 3/10 (1 August 2004)

The biggest problem with movies that run in a series (the Pink Panthers, the Lethal Weapons, etc.) is that the longer they go on, the more insane they get; they almost lose touch with the characterizations and subtleties that made them great and rely heavily on big boffo gags and fraudulent action. Die Hard 3 is the sorriest example of this malaise.
The people who made Die Hard 3 don't understand the difference between "over the top" and "stupid". Over the top entertainment may be extreme, but it's within a realm of possibility, and the audience needs only to suspend disbelief to accept it. Stupid is stupid and it's an insult to the audiences' intelligence, except, I guess, for the action-picture dummies who don't care and can't tell. Explain me this: Why does Sam Jackson, who is playing a black racist, offer Bruce Willis shelter in his shop so he won't get beat up by the homies after he turns up wearing a sandwich board that says "I Hate Niggers"? Or why does the NYPD, which can't even respond to a legit threatening phone call because it wades through so many fakers, spring into action when some guy doing a Peter O'Toole imitation intones "Simple Simon met a pieman...."
The movie will suck in the Die Hard die-hards, but without the goodwill of the first two pictures to support it, it fails on so many levels. Jackson's character, which is only there because the filmmakers So Obviously want to create a Lethal Weapon-esque buddy-buddy thing, is just an annoying complainer. It's written poorly and acted poorly. Jackson's racist isn't aggrieved, he's miffed. And in the whole movie, there is not one quotable line of dialogue (a la "hasta la vista, baby"), which everyone knows the filmmakers want; they have the right actor in Willis to deliver a wisecrack, and they still can't come up with anything. Even the action isn't great: one bit that has potential for greatness is when a subway train is blown right out of its hole and jumps up on the platform. The scene is edited so badly, one second we see debris flying and people running scared, the next, it's all over and we don't see the consequences, except for Bruce Willis emerging with a wrenched back and a bloody nose. But isn't that the whole point of the film- that civilians are in danger from this psychotic madman? If the film cuts that, then why not just cut the whole thing?
There is nothing particularly memorable about Die Hard 3, it's just one long cliché (oh, and don't forget the old tin snip to break out of handcuffs). The only thing I liked was a scene where Bruce Willis steals some little kid's bike in the name of official police business, a great cliché-buster if ever there was one. But the Die Hards are not in the same class with the Lethal Weapons, action-wise or dialogue-wise. They're very dreary and menacing and generally only good for killing time, about the only thing that does die hard. It's a tough sit. 1 1/2 * out of 4