Die Hardish

Rating: 7/10 (11 December 2016)

This has got to be one of the worst written pieces of crap ever put to celluloid. That being said, if you don't enjoy seeing it, repeatedly, you're probably already dead. I'm still amazed that this was based on a book, like an actual book and not on a comic or a fortune cookie or even a corporate logo printed on a paper napkin.
Let's take a closer look and, although there are spoilers they'll only lead to the enjoyment of this exercise in absurdity. The first thing I noticed is Bruce Willis seems to get the same little cut above his right eyebrow as he got in the first movie. I know, nit picking, but it's almost like a studio found that the eyebrow injury tested well among audiences.
Okay, so that was a little bit of a minor thing compared to things like grenades with the longest fuse, ever or the completely gratuitous nude scene from our villain with the perfectly sculpted posterior, but it sort of gives you an inkling of where I'm heading here. If you look too closely at this film, it'll drive you mad. They put so much detail into this film and most of it is pure nonsense.
In it, you get Colm Meany and Patrick O'Neal speaking to each other in fake accents for absolutely no reason whatsoever. You'll see a hole in a windshield just to remind you that there's a hole in a windshield. You'll have someone describe the hole in the windshield although it'll really have no impact on the plot other than there being said hole in said windshield. You'll watch airplanes land on runways covered with debris from other airplanes... wait, I'm just going to stop there because there are way too many plot holes, mistakes, goofs or just plain nonsense in this film that it makes Transformers look like a documentary.
At the end of it, you just won't care. It has some magical ability to just make all the nonsense go away and leave you rooting for the indestructible John Mclean and his plucky band of sidekicks. Watch this movie, you'll enjoy it more than it deserves.