A forgettable kids's movie.

Rating: 1/10 (31 July 2010)

Despicable Me was quite possibly the worst movie I have ever seen. Scratch that, it was THE worst movie I have ever seen. It is in no way "cute", "charming", or even "funny". You can't be taken seriously when you're a CGI kids' movie starring a bald guy with a bizarre accent. It ruins the pitiful attempts at drama.
The voice actors seemed to have been hired based on recognition factor and not skill. Miranda Cosgrove's performance is unconvincing, and Jason Segal was cast clearly because of his comedic background. An experienced VA like Jack Angel could have been hired instead and nobody would tell the difference. Jack McBrayer has all of three lines. The main character "Gru" is the worst. Sure, in comedic parts, you can ignore his horrible accent, but the rare "serious" moments in the film are ruined because of this accent. The only good voice actor is Will Arnett, playing a stern boss. He's probably the only aspect of the movie I liked.
The characters are all ugly and none are memorable, visually. I had to look away from the screen at some parts. They were also one-dimensional. The three girls have no personality, and the minions are forced kid-appeal characters. Gru himself is flat. What's his motivation to become number one villain? The climax is particularly baffling, with one of the girls trying to choose between getting crushed by the moon, or jumping to stay with her sisters. The plot does not captivate imaginations, try anything new, or pump you up. The writing contains plot holes. What happened to the pyramid everyone made a big deal about? It's never returned! In addition, the movie contains several horrible sights. Gru's butt, Gru on the toilet, and Gru's smiley-face pantsu. Did we need to see any of that?
The comedy is basically toilet humour and minions getting into wacky shenanigans. A lot of it is really just padding; the movie could have been done as a 7-minute short and still be coherent. The hyped up "IT'S SO FLUFFY" yielded about two laughs and a cough at my theater. The only amusing part was Gru telling the girls to "GET BACK IN THE KITCHEN", and that wasn't even intentional. Maybe some (read: some) kids will find it entertaining, but only if they are between 3 and 9.
Overall, Despicable Me is forgettable. You're not going to look back on it years later and think, "Man, that was a great experience." You'll think "Despicable Me is an example of how not to make a movie." The only reason I gave it one star is because the rating system can't go lower. It's that bad.