One of the worst sequels of all time.

Rating: 2/10 (18 October 2013)

WARNING: A lot of spoilers, basically a step-by-step story dissection.
Where to start... perhaps with reassuring that I am a fan of the original, and I was excited when this sequel finally came out. The premise, the soundtrack, voice acting plot... of the original - was really good. Worth getting about 8\10 and an animation classic call. So let's put it as a starting position for the sequel - 8 stars. First thing in the movie that revolted me - is the image of Lucy. Nya- ish, perhaps. But a red-haired Barbie-Xena, specifically surnamed Wilde... is like a pile of excrement that you licked just to make sure it's... well, excrement. Perhaps having a Nikita-styled agent in a children cartoon is too much, but this eye-candy is something even My Little Pony haven't done. But, well, tastes vary. Second was absolute cliché of "falling in love" with a black-haired slender guy, specifically in leather. What kind of target demographic was this aimed at, exactly? Then again, not the first, nor the last "miracle" of modern romance. When I almost decided to delete the subject and spare myself - was Antonio's line: "My dream is to play video games for living". Being a rock-star, singer, millionaire, pimp - all of those I could take. Again, not the last of modern dirty clichés. But whether this line was a promotion of gaming, or, as I took it, a totally mental attack against gamers, who would think that now even such animals could be gamers? This is personal... but not false, either. After all this, I could try to be merciful... and deduct 2 stars out of 8. Party couldn't end without arousing Mexican dance. In children cartoon. That has to make it 5, no, really. But even that could be safe for children, compared to Gru's date. What do little girls have to think of that... what was her name? I'd call it horse. Do they have to have nightmares? Fear that they could become like one, or perhaps that they all are Lucies, while the rest of them females are exactly like that - horses? The manner in which they returned her - makes the clinical humor of Tom and Jerry look like Award-winner. It gets to 4, no mercy. Unfortunately, it's not over. Gru's "in-love" street walk could last for a couple minutes more. People probably haven't got the idea what and why he is doing. And he should've been more cruel on his way back. Afterall - what gives? Remaining plot could be summed up into the diluted garbage of hero being left a fool, his babe flying away, while realizing that she is in love in such a proper time and place; damsel in distress; totally heroic and unpredicted behavior of Dr. Nefario and... well, happy end. To add one last thing: I think Macho has clearly elaborated that serum makes the subjects virtually Supermen. How is it then that a... Monster Inc escaped and drunken Sullivan-sized "injected" Macho could be zapped like a pig with a mere lipstick-taser? Very, very convenient. So I guess it's not 4 anymore. If you are a fan of romance and don't quite have the taste... or brainpower(as rude as it is) to contemplate the failure of this movie - give it 3. It deserves it. I don't have such weaknesses, so I would give it 2, because there can't be less than 1, and, for all we know, it's Despicable Me! It deserves a star for the franchise.
TL;DR: If this review even makes it in(since it's not much of a review, but then again I ain't a critic with obligations of quality), I could just say: If you like the original - Don't. Watch. This. Spare yourself and your braincells, let alone your time. Trust me, you can imagine much better plot and continuation of the story all by yourself. If there is ever going to be the Third part... leave your hopes for it, and don't let them be destroyed by this sequel.