Denzel...why not just become a cop, already?

Rating: 5/10 (5 May 2007)

DEJA VU 2006 (DENZEL WASHINGTON, PAULA PATTON, VAL KILMER) DIRECTED BY: TONY SCOTT ~ THE RUNDOWN: Tony Scott has done nothing but sh*t since True Romance; here he further corrupts the world by burdening us with this generic and laughable cop thriller. ~ Okay, with all BS aside, this is the premise of Deja Vu: cop uses time machine to...well...go back in time and save people. And upon conception of this ground-breaking design in storytelling, as*hole Jerry Bruckheimer hands a typewriter to a down-syndrome person who just got done watching Minory Report and 12 Monkeys and tells him to get to work. He, of course, makes it explicitly clear that the raw innovation accomplished so far still needs a gimmick...anything good for the theatrical trailer. The plot is ridiculous, and is founded upon the supposed and unquestioned creation of a government-made "super machine" that, according to the movie, just kinda...happened. I tell you, though, what's even more ridiculous is that they expect you to take it seriously, cheesy music and all, and care for characters in an absurd, horribly clichéd meshing of science-fiction and cop-investigation melodrama. You can't have your cake and eat it to. And, speaking of cops, how many times now has Denzel played one? I mean, wtf, is this guy like an honorary member of the Hollywood PD? He's been the lead in like every cop thriller of the last ten years. Yes, he HAS proved himself many times and has given several amazing performances including his role as a corrupt officer in Training Day...yet, has he never heard the word versatility? You better get to work Denzel, your legacy is at stake. ~ By normal standards of film-making this is not a bad movie; it was shot impressively and the acting was good. Also, I admit, at times I found myself saying: "wow, that's actually pretty cool." However, by the time the last half hour arrived, I couldn't have cared less what was going to happen. I didn't buy into any of it from the beginning and no revelation at the end was good enough to change my mind.