Worst. Adaptation. Ever.

Rating: 1/10 (22 September 2010)

Uh, to be fair, I read the book. So I know going in books are generally more descriptive then the movie, limited time frame and all. I didn't read the Notebook, but I thought the movie was fantastic, so I guess it could be said that had I not read Dear John, I would have liked the movie. Whatever. All that said, I believe this is the worst book-to-movie adaptation ever. Period. Seyfried was pretty good, the guy who played John's dad, Richard Jenkins I think, was the best actor. Channing Tatum was passable. Ugh. This adaptation was like studying for the NCLEX: No part of the movie had anything to do with what happened in the book. The only things that the book and movie had in common was John breaking Tim's nose into 10 pieces, and the letter Savannah wrote. That's it, that's the list. I was angry 15 minutes in, and I saw it on cable. I said "worst adaptation ever," and there was still an hour and a half left. I threw up in my mouth. The final 'eff you' to all the people who read the book was the end, when John and Savannah got back together. Tragic. My life is worse after seeing this. I never saw Ishtar, but somewhere Elaine May just popped open a bottle of Dom. This had all the plot and foresight of Ernest goes to jail, only without the comedic value. Nicholas Sparks probably wept blood like vampire Bill after Sookie kicked him out of her house after watching the first draft of this movie. If you read the book, don't watch this movie. If you watched this movie, may God have mercy on your soul. Good evening.