Chop chop

Rating: Null/10 (12 February 2016)

Based on my local 4K Digital theatrical viewing of a severely chopped version, with more than 60% of language and perhaps 40% of action sequences excised after the local scissor-run.
The same distributor, who respected their maker's artistic rights when David Fincher flatly refused to make cuts to his remake of 'The girl with the dragon tattoo', which caused in that movie being banned here, though its global box office was nothing to scream about, have this time decided to make money off this particular version anyway, and released this in its PG-09 form. Good for the kids who sneak in, I guess. Oh wait, that's not gonna be the case, since this is rated 'A', supposedly equivalent of the R/NC-17/15/18 abroad, depending on the region. To be fair though, Fincher (and another studio) did release the chopped version of his 'Gone girl', which introduced a new kind of chopping (at the time) where keys sequences remain intact, but the scissor-happy folk try their hand at panning and scanning, zooming into a neutral background, retaining the soundtrack, while eliminating the offending visuals for our 'safe' viewing at the cinema.
A lot of that in this flick. Wonders of technology and all that.....
Well, Deadpool's supposed to be the Merc-with-the-mouth, in spite of the fact that he wears a mask. Surprisingly, not to protect his identity as such, since mutants in the X-verse do not have multiple identities, but to cover his being burnt. Merc-with-a-mouth means, he's supposed to mouth-off, and we're supposed to listen, reflect/weigh- in, and react/respond accordingly. However, in the local market that I luckily happened to watch this in, I got little opportunity to do that. However, the masters-of-the-scissors do their jobs with their typical inefficiency that few cuss words do slip through, and then the audience started playing the game of 'guess-what-cuss-word-got-muted' all the way to the end (yeah, stay beyond the credits - this may be Fox, but it IS Marvel).
I cannot present a fair viewpoint on the version I watched, and my rating of this flick reflects the version presented here. However, assuming I did not miss much in terms of plot, there are a few observations, that may/may-not recommend this one to you:
1. Breaking the 4th wall in a mainstream superhero movie is good, but it gets old real fast (take a cue from Leo doing it in 'Wolf of wall street', where it shows up in just the right amount). So if they're relying on this alone for the sequel, ahem...they just might have to write better jokes. Also, it gets old real fast, except for those who do not know the background about the movie, or about Ryan Reynolds. At a point, it got so I did not know if it was the character breaking down that wall, or Green Lantern, or Ryan Reynolds. Too much of a good thing gets real old real fast. And, heh, he also breaks down that 4th wall for telling us that he broke that 4th wall down. Nuts.
2. The red-band trailers, sadly, have more content that the final local theatrical version, and also does the disservice of spoiling many key sequences for the audience, and that might be felt more in regions which have those sequences intact.
3. Best Stan Lee cameo. Ever. Hint: Think SNL Jason Sudeikis.
4. One of the best X-men ever, in the form of Colossus, whose earnestness, used almost as comic relief to Deadpool's own devil- may-care wisecracking hero, this is one character to remember, nee, treasure.
5. Negasonic Teenage Warhead. Go. Watch.
6. Blind Al. Old lady pants. Wish they'd shown more about how DP and she got together, but the one with the growing 'hand' is something most audience-members (heh) missed.
7. Homeland's Morena Baccharin. But. No, not at a local viewing.
8. Only 3 action set-pieces. Tight budget, apparently. And yeah, our mouthy hero tells us that thrice, after having broken 16 walls, per his own admission.
9. Corny love. Earnest love. Mainstream love. Predictable love. Corny...wait, did I just say that earlier. Oh heck...Initially, I thought this was counter- programming for the usual Valentine's day fare. But, if you see the Wade-Vanessa ooh-aah (and remember, minus all the good parts over here...), its just so...yawn...
10. The transporter refueled. What's Ed Skrein doing in this one. Seriously. And why's he (the character) there? Doesn't even make for a menacing bad guy. Almost like the excessively self-referential faux-credits at the beginning had to be true, and the real heroes just could not be bothered to write better. Several million drafts, and this?
11. Gina Carano with excess baggage. Had better presence in both Haywire and Fast & Furious 6. Disappointing.
12. TJ Miller could've been utilized more, though his character is kinda funny in the scenes he's given...
Now, obviously, I cannot recommend this movie for local theatrical viewing, unless you're one of those that gets off on all the scissor-happiness that's prevalent this month (H8ful 8 got the chops too, in case you were wondering, and there was precious little left to watch, or to listen to, at the end of it all). In fact, this might be my last R-rated movie viewing on the local big screen, for a long time to come, unless I hear of some massive change in the way mature movies are presented to local audiences.
And oh, enjoy the smoking and alcohol disclaimers littered across the screen throughout.