The most idiotic film I've ever seen

Rating: 2/10 (26 February 2014)

I'll cut straight to the chase and openly admit that I did not like Romero's original 1978 version of this film. However, one thing I will admit is that compared to this mess Romero's original film was a 'masterpiece' (which is saying something considering I rated that film 4 out of 10). I'll attempt to explain the problems with this film one by one;
1) The basics; right from the start there were no scares, no tension, and no character development. Therefore, I wasn't impressed with Snyder's remake from the start, but then things went from bad to worse
2) Zombie infestation; once our protagonists enter the mall as a 'safe haven' (as they did in the original), we see 1 or 2 zombies attack our protagonists as presumably they've gained entry into the mall the same way that our protagonists did. Naturally, our protagonists overcome these zombies and manage to find their way upstairs where they bump into 3 security guards who reluctantly agree that they can seek refuge with them (I still wasn't overly impressed by this point, but still thought 'Well it's OK'). However, later in the film we see very little zombie attacks or infestations in the mall, what I couldn't understand is why a few zombies managed to gain entry at the start, but couldn't gain entry later? It just removed any modicum of tension that the film had originally built up. Why couldn't they get in afterwards? Had they turned the mall into Fort Knox? Completely illogical
3) There is another scene where our protagonists venture out into the car park and they are set upon by zombies. I thought at this point; OK, fair enough they may have been able to find their way into the car park, but then our protagonists spend considerable time modifying 2 RV's in the underground car park without any problems from the zombies. How did they manage this? Were the Zombies having 40 winks?
4) The signs; OMG What the hell was that all about? Initially Kenneth (Rhames) and Andy (Bruce Bohne) write notes on large boards in order to communicate with each other. What made me laugh is that over an hour into the film they send a dog across the zombie infested area between the mall and Andy's gun shop with a bag strapped around its waist with a walkie talkie in it to Andy (who owns a gun shop and is one of the only other survivors - his reason for survival is self evident). This is so that Andy and Kenneth can communicate more easily. Why did they need walkie talkies and hand written boards to communicate? Had the scriptwriters forgot that it was 2004 when this film was made? The age of the 'mobile phone' - this whole situation could have been resolved by one of them saying 'Hey Buddy, this is stupid, write your number down on the next card and I'll text you'.
5) Mobile phones; nobody seemed to have one. I could understand if this was meant to be set in an age before mobile phones existed, but it clearly isn't so the fact that no-one has a mobile phone makes no sense. They see a helicopter fly past which doesn't rescue them even though they have a big SOS labelled on the roof; why it never picks them up and why another helicopter wasn't sent is never explained. Surely if someone had a mobile, all they would have needed to do would be to make a 911 call and ask for a helicopter to be sent to a specified location point in order to rescue them. This is what makes this film so flawed as in 1978 when they were isolated in the mall, they really were 'isolated' as the original film was made before mobile phones were invented so this made the premise in the original film slightly more plausible. In 2004, in the age of the mobile phone it doesn't work so well.
I'm sure there are other problems but I feel I've made my point plus I'm in danger of exceeding the 1000 word limit if I continue much longer. I hate this film (as you'll have gathered) and the only reason I've given the film 2 stars is because of Ving Rhames' performance). Rhames managed to give some credibility to proceedings and was definitely a 'diamond in the rough'
In summary, this was a horrible film that makes the 'lacklustre' original look like a masterpiece. In hindsight, I now wished that I'd avoided it, but the optimist in me said 'Give it a chance'. I really wish I hadn't have bothered.