Ends Up Needing More Than Just a Blood Transfusion.

Rating: Null/10 (6 June 2012)

Schizophrenic underachiever that markets itself as a unique and appealing comedy on the level of perhaps "Being There" as long-deceased and cursed vampire Johnny Depp awakens in 1972 Maine with typically well-calculated and hilarious results. However, Tim Burton's unfocused, mean-spirited, and oft-times confusing direction derails what should have been the film's premise with surprisingly dark and disturbing sequences, a distracting love triangle between Depp, his true love Bella Heatchcote (in a yawner of a role), and the super-sexy Eva Green (arguably hitting a new note for even her on the heat meter) who doubles as a witch and a cutthroat businesswoman of canned foods (no kidding), and waning attempts of possible character redemptions. Also along for the ride is the always under-rated Helena Bonham Carter as a frazzled psychiatrist, 1972 family matriarch Michelle Pfeiffer (woefully lost and miscast here), and cameos by horror veterans like Jackie Earle Haley, Christoper Lee, and even Alice Cooper. Definitely would have worked better as a long skit ala something from "Saturday Night Live" or even perhaps a sitcom, uneven elements turn a possible winner into another in the long line of ho-hum releases from the sometimes brilliant, but sometimes negatively outlandish Burton. 2.5 out of 5 stars.