Dark Shadows (2012)

Rating: 3/10 (2 September 2012)

I saw every Tim Burton film since Mars Attacks! at the cinema. Until this came along. I had had enough of Burton's subpar efforts over the years and Alice In Wonderland was his last chance as far as I was concerned. Finally saw this and I'm glad I waited. This is simply awful. Based on a soap opera, Burton doesn't seem to know what to do. It changes tone dramatically from obvious humour involving Depp's character waking up after 200 years of being buried and being confused by things such as television. To grisly kills where he takes out innocent victims. There are a whole cast of characters, each one is given their own story, but none of them are given enough time to develop. Miller, Carter, Heathcote are all wasted as are their stories. I didn't even get the point of Miller, which is a shame because he was great with what he had. Entire scenes have no place in the film, or are needlessly long and repetitive. The main plot seems to have Eva Green asking Depp to be hers and him rejecting her, over and over and over again. It really does feel like snippets from a soap opera condensed down. This is really just a clip show. By the end it starts pulling things out of its backside. Couldn't care for anybody in this film and think the original property should have just been left alone.