Big Budget and technical excellence serve a lack of ambition- the original in reverse!

Rating: 6/10 (11 May 2012)

Finally, after all the waiting, the movie is finally here. Now that we have it, what can we make it of it? The original was unintentionally funny in the way that many shows of its time (Star Trek-Dr Who-Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea, etc.) were while maintaining an air of deadly earnestness, a combination that won it many fans. In a way it epitomised the "Ed Wood" syndrome that Burton and Depp so lovingly homage 17 years ago, a clash between grand intent and woeful lack of means/ability. The trailer made the film look like an all-out comedy, which it actually isn't. It attempts to take itself seriously most of the time, while throwing in some very broad and generic humour, and as many have pointed out the two here do not gel. There is no dramatic tension or irony created by the horror side by side with the comedy, no chiaroscuro contrasts, they simply sit side by side awkwardly, like a classical musician playing Mahler suddenly breaking out into rap then going back to Mahler! Perhaps if it had been done as an all-out absurdest comedy it might have worked better. Failing that, if it had been played deadly seriously, as the original was, there would have been the potential for plenty of real drama, pathos and power, the sort that Burton used to be able to find in movies like "Batman" "Edward Scissorhands" and "Sleepy Hollow". As it is the movie is not funny enough to be a comedy, it isn't dramatic enough to be an engaging emotional tale, and it isn't dark or frightening enough to count as genuine horror either. It tries to be all things and ends up being none of them. The film is admirable in its attempts to squeeze in as much of the original series as it can, even if most of it is of the strictly name check variety. However even these plot lines are changed for the worst. Take the origin story in the 1760s. In the original, Barnabas is a fool who professes love for Josette yet happily betrays her with Angelique, and is thus the main author of his own downfall. Here it's made to look as if Angelique does all the lusting, long before Josette ever turns up, thereby eliminating much of the tragedy and moral ambiguity in favour of a simple "good vs Evil" narrative. Also Barnabas' presentation to the modern Collins family, wonderfully creepy in the original, with its tones of "Dracula", the mysterious foreigner entering their midst, a man with centuries on his shoulders, the "call of the blood", the whole enigma of the portrait, here simply becomes Barnabas walking in to the home in 1760s regalia making no secret of who or what he is, making an instant pact with Elizabeth based on money for aid. It has no power, no mystery, no drama, and it does nothing but turn Barnabas into a one note comic character. The "falling in love with the girl who looks like Josette" storyline is played out well enough, with original narrator Victoria Winters actually being Maggie Evans before a name change, therefore combining both characters and their near identical story lines with Barnabas into one. The ghost of Josette, (the first ever supernatural element of the original series) here haunts not Collinwood but Victoria, and the film is never quite clear whether Maggie/Victoria is actually the reincarnation of Josette, or merely a "sixth sense" child whom the ghost latches onto in order to fulfil a destiny. Both possibilities are shown, and since Maggie and Victoria were neither, simply mistaken as such by Barnabas because of their looks, we are left to figure out for ourselves. Everything is wrapped up in an explosive finale which would be exciting and original if it wasn't almost identical to the ones in "Witches of Eastwick" "Death Becomes Her" " Stardust" "The Wolfman" and several others besides. Here Burton throws in a bag of other plot points, with the "Collins curse Werewolf" and the ghost of David's mother/Phoenix popping up out of nowhere to help deliver a sucker punch to baddie Angelique. You almost expect Quentin Collins, Reverend Trask or Count Petofi to burst out of the floor to take part, but I guess Burton is saving those for the sequel, along with Julia Hoffman, who alas here suffers the same truncated fate as her character did in the 1970 movie (in the series, after a rocky start she becomes Barnabas' right hand woman and greatest friend) but then it seems she too will return for the possible sequel. So the film itself is entertaining, featuring great actors and moody set design, but it suffers from the reverse of the "Ed Wood" syndrome of its famed inspiration. Here it is great means, ability and talent put to the service of an unambitious exercise in water treading. As a nights entertainment it is great, but with the names "Dark Shadows" and "Tim Burton" attached, it cannot help but leave you with a sense of disappointment and a longing for what could have been.