Johnny Depp's Absolutely Worst Film! Too Bad I Had to Pay to Watch It!

Rating: 1/10 (22 May 2012)

The only reason I went to see Dark Shadows is because I'm a big fan of Johnny Depp! I'll never make that mistake again! Like most actors, Johnny will do just about anything to make a buck! Storytelling as an art? What's that? And, who cares anyway? 2012 is turning out to the worst year in decades (and I have been going to the movies for over 40 years, so that's saying something) for really bad blockbusters: first, Hunger Games; next, The Avengers; and now Dark Shadows!
Here are some of the twisted messages you will find in Dark Shadows, which is a mere shadow of the 1960's TV series (pun intended)! It's OK to harbor a blood-thirsty vampire that has killed 11 totally innocent blue collar workers and then 10 friendly and gentle young adults because the depraved vampire will make my family prosperous and prestigious again. A 10-year old boy with no super powers can unchain a vampire, but a vampire with super powers is totally helpless. A ghost can destroy an all-powerful witch but a shotgun, a vampire and a werewolf are totally helpless! It's OK to create another blood thirsty vampire because you are in love and the person blackmails you!
The main message of Dark Shadows is that's it's OK to kill in order to have wealth, power and prestige. The ends justify the means! How sickening!
Dark Shadows is so bad I have made a pact with myself! Despite how much I love sitting among a live audience, I will refrain from going to the movies until the The Hobbit is released at the end of the year. I hate wasting my time, money and emotional energy on films that do nothing but exploits the audience with drivel, and ends up being nothing more than boring, tedious trash!