No Redeeming Feature Here

Rating: 1/10 (13 November 2013)

Tim Burton used to be gooood. He did. Johnny Deep used to be a genius, too. He did. Here they both failed. Miserably. Utterly. Wholly. Completely. Totally. Pity. This is a vanity piece, as they say. Truly so. Why was that film shot? We did see Depp as a freak with all his nauseatic mimics, his wiggling limbs and queer-ish gestures. We saw in awful Sweeney Todd. We saw Helena Bonham Carter and we know already how bad she is. Any clear spot? Pfeiffer? Nay, she is very much like in Stardust. Old hat. So, any clear spot? Yeah. Alice Cooper. Music. This is all. All that dark, sepia, gloomy scheme is so funny and laughable. We never even smile. We saw all those mannerisms before. The winning formula Burton / Depp is a small smelly Quatsch here. No, no redeeming feature here at all. No wonder, it was so panned by critics. They are right.