Utterly disappointing

Rating: 2/10 (11 May 2012)

From the trailer, I was expecting Tim Burton to re-conjure up his clever supernatural formula of his 1988's BEETLEJUICE. I knew that he was going to take a comedic direction as compared to the serious Gothic thriller versions of the 60s and 90s TV series . However, Burton failed to make this one work, much less a big screen version to the successful series. In fact, I would be so generous as to say that the trailer makes better sales pitch than the movie itself.
But apparently I was sheep enough to be deceived by its sly marketing.
Ghosts, witches, vampires and werewolves would certainly make good concoctions for an interesting supernatural movie premise after the recent splash of the superhero ensemble that was THE AVENGERS. But it seems that that was pure wishful thinking. I was bored to my bones and uninterested throughout the entire movie. I found myself practically praying when the movie is going to end as my focus was beginning to drain out.
On another level, it's quite plain to see that the Burton-Depp collaboration has been definitely been exhausted. I mean I should have seen the tell-tale signs that their so-called "professional marriage made in cinema heaven" had faded when they did the trying-too-hard screen version of the musical SWEENEY TODD. It seems like their last best project together would have to be SLEEPY HOLLOW and whatever they do afterwards seems to be forced. It's as if Hollywood itself is the mastermind that makes them keep up with the charades.
Strangely enough, it was Depp himself who jokingly hinted on E! that his collaboration with Burton seems to be failing like many Hollywood marital affairs. And it was proved a true revelation in this latest box-office bomb (to me, at least).
Like many others who flocked early to get the tickets, I was really anticipating a fun journey. Instead, all we got was an arid unimpressive trip into oblivion. I suppose those who among the lucky ones to have snapped up tickets to sold-out shows really deserved the junk that we saw on screen.
As colourful as the poster might have looked the only vibrance about DARK SHADOWS were the 70s costumes and Helena Bonham Carter's rich makeup. Even those did not feel authentic to the era other than tunes by The Carpenters.
I must say that it was a terrible waste of talents to be in this excuse of a "dark comedy". From Michelle Pfeiffer to the gorgeous Eva Green and cameos by Christopher Lee and the original "Barnabas Collins", Jonathan Frid (who passed on following the wrap-up). At the risk of sounding cruel I suppose his demise was probably due his disappointment Burton's treatment to his original series. And even Alice Cooper's presence did not particularly grace the film with his homage to the age of rock-and-rock of the 70s.