Decent but below any expectations

Rating: 5/10 (11 May 2012)

This movie had all it takes for a good movie. A top-notch cast, a decent director and a successful TV show to build on. Sadly, all this potential was wasted due to a lousy script. The story is weak, the characters are superficial and unconvincing. No blame on the actors though, they did best they could with what they were given to work with.
The first few minutes of the movie play in the 18th century. Barnabas Collins (Johnny Depp), son of wealthy and successful parents has an affair with Angelique Bouchard (Eva Green), a housemaid from humble home. He refuses to acknowledge her, unknowingly that she is a witch. In return, she kills his parents and his newly-married true love Josette (Bella Heathcote), turns him into a vampire and has him buried alive by a mob. All of this is rushed through in about five minutes and that is what it feels like. Rushed. Josette has literally one line to say before she is killed off, all of this appears unreal and laughable. It's like "Oh Barnabas, promise to always stay with me /big eyes/" (first line and last one, just saying) - "Yes my true love, I swear, we are so in love, huh?". I mean, come on. COME ON. That's all so unreal and unconvincing.
Anyway, plot continues 196 years later, in 1972. A bunch of construction workers stumbles over Barnabas coffin and releases him and he sets out to see whether the Collins family endured. They did. Elizabeth Stoddard (Pfeiffer) and her daughter Carolyn (Chloe Moretz), Elizabeth's brother Roger Collins (Lee Miller) and his son David (McGrath) still live in the Collins mansion. They are in company of psychiatrist Dr. Hoffmann (Bonham Carter), caretaker Willie (Jackie Earle Haley) and the new housemaid Vicky (Bella Heathcote, again). The family business however is going bad, let's say not going at all and the family fortune is gone. All of them has their own problems, in one way or another. Barnabas decides to get the old family business going again, only to find out soon enough that Angelique who cursed him two hundred years ago is still around and alive, being the family's biggest opponent in the industry. Barnabas has to struggle with that as much as with family internal problems and of course himself adapting to a new age. This brings along quite a few good laughs.
Johnny Depp sadly fails to reinvent himself as Barnabas Collins and displays the annoying habit to adapt gesture and humorous dialogues which made me think of Captain Jack Sparrow with make-up rather than an entirely new character. He's entertaining nevertheless, don't get me wrong. The rest of the cast is doing decently, from my point of view the only outstanding performance is delivered by Jackie Earle Haley, though. That guy is totally underrated. Sadly, sadly, sadly, the characters and their relations to each other are weak, superficial, the plot seems forced at times and character development is not to be found. The romance is as much of a joke as in the 18th century part of the movie. Again, I blame the script for this. Too many characters, too little screen time for each of them, too little time to evolve and make them appear alive.
All in all, a waste of potential, this one could have been big, instead it's mediocre. The only thing this movie shines at is the soundtrack. It's terrific. Wish I could say that about the rest of it.