Despite a Recklessly Overstuffed Plot, Burton's Latest is a Thin, Watery Affair

Rating: 5/10 (14 January 2013)

Although I was sucked in by the sheer, merry lunacy of this world, its characters and their wardrobe, there's really no excusing some of the faultlines that run through the heart of this confused little horror saga. It suffers from a severe case of subplot-itis, and tries in vain to cram four chapters' worth of back story into nearly every face. Even the less interesting minor players are obsessively over-inspected, which leads the more important characters to pull constant disappearing acts. Pseudo-protagonist Belle Heathcote is the most glaring example, vanishing without explanation for a full forty minutes during the second act, and then materializing right in the middle of a cramped romance. Johnny Depp's Barnabus is the one constant, happily sailing far over the top in yet another colorful, inexplicably successful leading turn. I caught myself laughing at the punchlines more often than I'd expected, but Dark Shadows often tests the boundaries of good taste, and in one case (an out-of-left-field comic love scene) ventures too close to the uncomfortably absurd. Kooky and silly, it's unforgivably (and thoroughly) lacking in the kind of panache Tim Burton was always known for.