Terrible Script Destroys Great Idea

Rating: 3/10 (14 May 2012)

When a movie is staffed with some of the best actors of the day, that usually indicates that they liked the script.right? Well, not exactly. Dark Shadows is a great introduction to the dark shadows of Hollywood. Sometimes it doesn't matter what script you think is good and what script you think is bad. Instead, it's about who you owe a favor or what studio you work for. How else could such a plain script attract the likes of Johnny Depp, Michelle Pfeiffer, Helena Carter, and Chloe Moretz?
I have never seen the original television show that sparked this movie. However, to my understanding, it was a dark drama. How did such a television show get turned into a comedy? What's worse is that is got turned into a comedy that didn't make me laugh in the slightest. The movie is filled with awkward lines and out of character moments. The writer—Seth Smith—shows just how much of a amateur he is in the world of film scripts.
The only enjoyable part of the movie was when the actors found a way to work outside of the script. Although Chloe Moretz character was horribly constructed, she still made some of her scenes work. Johnny Depp was able to pull of the strangeness that comes with losing two centuries. Above all others, Helena Carter actually pulled off a believable character. Just a fair warning to all screenwriters out there. If you only successful character is the drunk, you have a big problem.
Tim Burton is the master of "hit or miss." He had directed some incredible movies in Edward Scissorhands and Big Fish. However, he has plenty of terrible movies: Alice in Wonderland, Mars Attacks, Beetlejuice, etc. There is little room for in-between with Tim Burton. I don't consider this a bad thing. He goes all-in when he makes a movie. When it succeeds, you get fantastic results. The only problem is he creates a lot of bad movies in the process. Please, Tim Burton, stop taking mediocre scripts!
The only people who will see this movie are fans of vampire movies and fans of Johnny Depp. The thing is, this movie disgraces both. Johnny Depp had put out come fantastic movies. With such a great acting ability, there is no need for him to be in such a mediocre film. As for the ever-expanding genre of vampiresthere are plenty of good alternatives. Go watch Daybreakers while you wait for the release of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.
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