Just Awful On Every Level

Rating: 2/10 (17 May 2012)

Angelique dooms Johnny Depp to a fate worse than death: turning him into a vampire, and then placing him in one of the worst movies I've ever sat through. This is just awful. I'm talking Speed Racer or Battlefield Earth awful. Barnabas is inadvertently freed from his tomb and returns to Collinwood Manor to find that his once-grand estate has fallen into ruin. The dysfunctional remnants of the Collins family are more annoying than a dozen nails grating across a chalkboard. To make a vampire analogy, this is one Depp/Burton movie that should have NEVER seen the light of day. It's terribly paced, not funny and not interesting. Other then that...