Pretension Only Goes So Far

Rating: 3/10 (29 December 2013)

Dark Shadows tries with all its might to be as quirky, spooky and ironic as possible. But I couldn't agree more with what most of the critics have said, and I quote, "All dressed up, and nowhere to go". To be honest, I thought that this was going to be one of Burton's most original outings since the mid-nineties. I was looking forward to the juxtaposition of groovy nostalgia and Universal classic horror movie monsters that this film promised. But once I pressed play, those hopes were quickly dashed. Its another pretentious Burton schlock-fest with over the top weirdness, over bearing set pieces, uninteresting dialog and of course, Johnny Depp stinking up the joint. I should have known that Dark Shadows was such an appealing franchise for Burton to get his greasy hands on. Nothing in this film is genuinely compelling or funny. However, the homages to the 70's (as little in quantity as they were), were at least semi- amusing. Tim needs to learn at some point or another that his 20 year Depp collabo is wearing extremely thin. Perhaps the film's box-office returns gave some sort of a clue.