Not great but watchable

Rating: 7/10 (1 June 2012)

I have never watched Dark Shadows, the television show that ran for 5 years in the late 1960s. A Gothic horror soap opera (my mind thinks of The Munsters and The Adams Family, correct me if I'm wrong) about the family Collins has been turned into a reasonably good film, directed by the Gothic master Tim Burton and starring everyone's favourite odd-ball actor Johnny Depp.
Filled with the typical Burton-isms you'd expect, fog, ships, Gothic architecture , Johnny Depp, vampirish women, the film is not breaking new ground or even the best of Burton's oeuvre but it makes for a passable way to spend the day.
However, the most surprising thing that struck me was two aspects of the film that I was not at all expecting: the first is that it is surprisingly violent, everyone's heartthrob Depp kills a load of people (not well advertised), the second is that it is pretty risqué (advertised), certainly much more than I was expecting when I first sat in my chair. Certainly Eva Green's method of seduction appears to be exploiting the fact that she is extremely attractive with a nice chest, not that I, as an average film goer was complaining, it just was not something I was expecting to feature so....prominently in the film. In regards to the film's violence, it is not gruesome but it must be said that Depp contributes to a rather high bodycount in this film.
The plot of the film is pure Burton. Ghosts, curses and jilted lovers all appear several times throughout the film. The film's plot essentially focuses on Eva Green's Angelique Bouchard and the reason why she's such a meany to poor old Johnny Depp and her attempts to manipulate and force her way into his heart. Add into this dashes of family business rivalry, a lavish party attended by Alice Cooper (his cameo one of the film's highlights!) and an utterly insane and strange plot twist at the end that made literally not one jot of sense to me and you end up with a well scripted, well directed, well acted film that suffers from bad pacing and walking the uncomfortable line between not being that funny and not being scary.
In terms of humour, it is down to three aspects:
Jackie Earl Haley as the caretaker. He is funny. Helena Bonham Carter as Dr. Julia Hoffman, not as funny as Haley but still gets some of the best line. The 1972 setting. Not used as well as it could have been but Depp's man-out-of-time routine does raise some laughs and the soundtrack is pure awesome (Cooper's cameo counts towards this 3rd point.)
In the end however, Dark Shadows is not as funny as Burton's finest, nor as scary as Burton's finest. Johnny Depp is better here than in a lot of recent Tim Burton films (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Alice in Wonderland) and the supporting cast here work really well. Carter and Haley I've mentioned already but Michelle Pfeiffer is great as the matriarch, leading to some quality scenes with Eva Green. Speaking of Green, she is one of Burton's finest vampish woman and she shines in this film too. Chloe Grace Moretz is pretty good as a rebellious daughter but the previously mentioned insane plot twist includes her and it just didn't work for me. Finally, and I must mention this because it is too awesome for words, another cameo from greatest man ever, Christopher Lee as a grizzled fisherman had me smiling like a crazy man.
So all in all, not the best film I've seen all year, not the best Tim Burton film I've seen, not the best Johnny Depp film I've seen but overall, it is a passable film and one I enjoyed watching.