Dork City

Rating: 1/10 (31 May 2015)

After seeing that this juvenile .. what ever it is .. has a superb 7.7 rating I decided to put myself through the ordeal and watch it to the end, just to make sure.. Well.. I'm sure now ! It was gruesome, and you, who ever is reading this, you should thank me with both hands for liberating you from having to go through the same gut wrenching boredom. Do I regret it now ? Yes, I would rather stick a straw in my eyeballs and gently suck them dry with a twist of lime. Maybe if I ever arrive in the future, I can un watch this movie .. thoughts like these keep me going in life
Warning * You have to be over 9 years of age to read these spoilers * I'm about to spill the milk
When the movie started, the first scene was so dark I feared I had gone partially blind or something .. but you should let your eyes adjust patiently and it turns out to be a good thing because you can't clearly see the immature and stale performance of the cast, especially Murdork, who gave me the opportunity to experience new levels of annoyance and irritation previously unknown to me. The aliens were even worse .. they controlled the whole city, could hover, yet they brought a rusty old knife to intimidate. Jennifer Connely looked lovely as ever but that wont stop this dark turd from reeking .. my 4 year old niece tells better stories. You can put your braces back in now .. What a contrived pretentious heap of pubescent tissues .. Watch old tapes of your first school play or repaint your Lego blocks, just save yourself by all means, don't watch this awkward ejaculation or it will stick to you