Full entertainment, average script, single dimension characters, predictable story-line

Rating: 6/10 (26 December 2016)

Dangal : Fan vs Connoisseur {Movie opens. Aamir works in a government office. A younger muscleman taunts him for his age and strength. Challenge accepted – office floor is converted to an Akhara. Character is introduced as an ex National Champion.} Fan: Yeah, what an intro! Aamir is the boss. Conn: But, subtlety? A bit on your face, isn't it? Promos have been telling you for so many months that the man is a wrestler, what is the surprise? Fan: Arre, this movie is about woman empowerment and patriotism. Made by Aamir, you know more than him? Conn: I have been watching world cinema for 4 decades now. Did you watch Million Dollar Baby? Or, Creed? Introduction of protagonist is subtle and powerful. Fan: Saala Khadoos! Conn: Yeah, even that was subtle. A character needs to be established for the various dimensions it has, like a normal human being. {Aamir is already making his daughters' life miserable on screen} Conn: His character is so one dimensional! So, is the wife, compliant otherwise but strict about the kitchen. Daughters seem like puppets. From the instance of their introduction, it's only wrestling for them. Did they not have real problems of men touching them intimately in a rural society? What if dangals coincide with their monthly periods? Where is the subtext of a woman in the socio- cultural context? And even the cousin, almost a buffoon and effeminate. Fan: Boss, this is based on real life. Real life has no drama, only hard work. See, how the girl is beating the boys in the street fights? Such message about girl child! That too, in Haryana. Conn: OK, then a documentary on the Phogat family should have done it. Messages would have been real and direct. Isn't it? {The girl has grown up. The new girl is pretty, and there are whistles from somewhere in the dark} Fan: Now, the real show will start! All championship fights. Full paisa vasool! Conn: Oh, have you watched Commonwealth Games videos on YouTube? Fan: Of whom, this girl? Conn: No, the original Geeta. Could have been included in the documentary.
Why make a feature film of that? {Intermission has started. Fan rushed to be early in the queue for overpriced popcorn and cola. His child and wife too went with him. He kept telling wife to take care of the child in the toilet, quite loudly. Movie restarted. Fan rushed back with his family after a little while.} Fan: What did I miss? Father and daughter are fighting I see. Why? Conn: It seems that once the female athletes reach the Academy, they get more interested in fashion, boys, movies etc. They grow their hair. Wonder what P T Usha used to do! Or Malleswari. Fan: Who are these people? Did they win Commonwealth medals? Conn: Malleswari got Olympic medal, my friend! Fan: Arre, Phogats are international wrestlers, Bhai! When Aamir has picked up their life, they must be the best. Conn: Aamir perhaps chose the Haryana story, so that the pretty actresses from mainstream can depict them. Malleswari is from Andhra, stout, not very easy to find a mainstream actress like her. Moreover, weightlifting is not half as glamorous as women's wrestling. {On screen, a national level coach is making an ass of himself. The daughter drifted away from the father and, predictably, lost all the international matches. From the first scene of their conflict, everyone knew that they would reconcile. Aamir gets the control of her daughter's life back and starts phone-training her. The pitiable daughter succumbs to the fatherly diktats} Fan: What an actor! Gained so much weight and now, he has lost so much! Only Aamir can do this? Conn: Ever watched Captain America? Chris Evans was skinny and muscular in the same movie. Fan: That's why I call you anti-national! Why do you always quote America? India doesn't make movies or what? Conn: Sir, this is cinema, world of make believe. In any case, a man who gains weight so much after his athletic days, usually do not have such muscular triceps and biceps. Muscles sag without practice. Fan: You are doubting Aamir's method acting? See, how authentic is his Haryanvi! Conn: Do you speak the language? Fan: No, why do I need to? Conn: Kangana in TMWT would have won by far, if Haryanvi accent were the basis of good acting. {In the meanwhile, there is an announcement in the film about the National Anthem to be played before a match. Spectators stood up like clockwork puppets the moment the band starts playing. This is not the mandatory stand-up, thought the connoisseur and spread on the push-back seat. Fan gave one hard look at him. Connoisseur pulled himself up.} Fan: Now, the climax starts. Oh, my God! Mahabir Phogat ji faced such jealousy? Mean people!That's why nothing happens in Sports in this country! Conn: What sports do you play? Fan: Where is the time? Office, family, child's education Conn: And your child? Which sports does he like to play? Fan: Where is the playing space in an apartment? Look, how close the competition is between Geeta and that Australian girl! Conn: We all know that Geeta would win. Where is the suspense in the climax? And you know, the original match was a smooth sail for Geeta? Fan: Boss, we don't come to a movie to learn history. 'Entertainment, entertainment, entertainement - as Vidya Balan had said. That Dangal has done. I am happy! {Credits start rolling. Connoisseur and fan depart, waving at each other. The crowd of Christmas cum Sunday evacuates. 'Super hit' was the verdict even before the movie was released. Now, it's only a scoring game of the centuries of crores. Savvy marketeer, smart selector of themes, average actor and film maker – this defines the Hindi megastars. Who directed this movie, connoisseur tried to recall. Who cares! Aamir is there, his courtiers need just that.}