"Wo4 Hu3 Cang2 Long2" is Japanese for "Marry me!"

Rating: Null/10 (26 March 2001)

If you see this in a theater, be sure to laugh at all the unrealistic movement and stupid characters who jump off cliffs. Remember that anyone who doesn't laugh is just keeping up a pretense so they can seem intellectual to other pretentious snobs. I, however, am a real red-blooded common person who can see what those "high-brows" who pretend not to laugh can't see. I can see that this movie is set in ANCIENT CHINA, millions of years ago, older than Napoleon, even! This is ABSURD! REDICULOUS! LAUGHABLE! People DO NOT live in ANCIENT CHINA nowadays, so HOW can they make a movie that shows something that ISN"T HAPPENING!!!?!?!?!??! It's so FAKE!! The UNREALISTIC setting would have ruined the hundreds of incomprehensible plots, if they weren't already ruined by the dialogue. They COULD have had GOOD dialogue, but they chose instead to have FOREIGN LANGUAGE dialogue! ! ! ! It's unpossible to write something serious in that weird Siberian language they made up for this movie, because it only has four hundred syllables and it hasn't got any words!! (It only has morphemes!) Why do foreign people teach themselves their inferior foreign languages, which are difficult to pronounce, clunky, and have unnatural syntax? If it weren't for foreign language education, everyone would speak English and we'd all understand each other!!
Also, ethnic people live in a suicidal culture of shame which is why all the characters killed themselves.