What's the big fuss about?

Rating: 3/10 (9 August 2001)

OK, first of all you need to understand that I like just about every movie I've ever seen. I can say that most movies have some redeeming value. There is maybe 20 to 30 movies that I can say have little to no redeeming value, and "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" is on that list. I saw "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" a while back when it was in the theaters and I even have another review on the site (if you care to read it), and was less than stoked about it then.
The other night I watched it again because I refused to believe that I didn't like it THAT much. Knowing myself, it sometimes takes me two viewings to really enjoy a movie, so I watched it again. After watching it for my second time, I'm sticking to my original belief, in fact watching it a second time made it even more clear to me why I didn't like it. I'm truly sorry for feeling this way, but "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" is one of the dumbest movies I've ever seen, I'm sorry, but I had to say it.
First of all, I'm all about suspending reality, that's all in good fun, I understand, but it just doesn't work at all in this movie and is just absurd! If you are going to suspend reality you need to give the audience a reason to believe it. OK, so these people have learned a special type of martial art that allows them defy gravity at any time...c'mon, I need more than that. And secondly, it bugged the hell out of me that none of the bystanders were amazed that these warriors could defy gravity. If you were chasing someone and suddenly they jumped over a 30 foot wall, wouldn't you be a little confused or amazed? I think so. A perfect example of what I'd like to see is in "The Matrix" when the Agent jumps to the next rooftop and the cop can't believe what he just saw.
While I'm on the topic of "The Matrix", I've had friends get upset that I liked the gravity defiance in "The Matrix" and didn't like it in "CTHD". OK, these two are sooooo very different, Matrix gives you a more "realistic" reason to believe that the characters can defy gravity and even then, the way it is filmed is WAY better than CTHD. You don't see people in Matrix floating over 30 foot walls, running on the sides of buildings or changing directions in mid air. ...And even when gravity is defied, it isn't for more than a second or two at most, whereas CTHD would do it for quite a bit longer.
So, anyway, back to CTHD. The next thing that bothered me is the fight scenes. I'll give it this, they are well choreographed, but are you people really impressed by this? Two people are fighting and all of a sudden one of them starts to float away and the other fighter has to hold her to the ground so that she doesn't float off. LAME, LAME, LAME!!!
Another thing, if you are going to have your characters defy gravity, make it true to itself. If gravity is out the window then why is a weapon going to be too heavy for Yu Shu Lien (Michelle Yeoh) to fight with?
Next on my agenda is the fight scene in the bamboo trees, this has got to be one of the DUMBEST, MOST ABSURD things I've EVER seen on film. I will admit however that the trees are beautiful and the scenery is nice, but the context is incredibly stupid.
Oh, and one other thing, there are undoubtedly some people reading this thinking "He didn't like it because it was subtitled", no, that is not the case, I loved "Run Lola Run", "Brotherhood of the Wolf" and "Life Is Beautiful".
All in all, I thought the movie was horrible and it's going to be a long time before I watch this again, unless the other viewers don't mind me screaming at how silly the movie is. If you haven't seen it yet and you are still interested, by all means, see it, form your own opinion. I hope you enjoy it more than I did. Thanks for reading,
-LebowskiT1000