Another moviegoer cheated by the title

Rating: 5/10 (4 October 2002)

If you ask for a hamburger in a fast food restaurant, they you get given a hamburger. Why? Because that's what is says on the menu, and if they gave you an omelette you could quite rightly complain as it would be false advertising.
Then why do moviemakers continue to get away with such films as Armageddon (the world doesn't end), My Beautiful Laundrette (it looked quite seedy to me) and now Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.
Now I know that my movie tastes are simple, but if a movie claims to contain both a Dragon and a Tiger, then that's what you should see. And, yes I know that the dragon was hiding, but you should at least of seen his tail or maybe he could have breathed fire or something. So where was the tiger?

If I were to release a film called `Gwyneth Paltrow and Sandra Bullock Take All Their Clothes Off' and then it turned out to be some martial arts film I would get lynched! But not Ang Lee, oh no, he gets to direct The Hulk. And what do you think the chances of us actually seeing this Hulk are? Well, judging by this film pretty slim.
Don't get me wrong, I watched this film twice (cos I started shouting at the screen, got thrown out and thought I might have missed the dragon), so I know what was going on, but even that baffled me. Basically the whole film idea is ripped off of from a pantomime called Peter Pan'.

For those of you who don't know what a Pantomime is, it's a kind of play that we have over here in Britain, mostly at Christmas time. In these pantomimes, men dress as women and vice versa, and in Peter Pan a woman dressed as a man gets pulled across the stage suspended by wires. Sound familiar?
Most of the rooftop chase scenes reminded me of pantomimes, so I started shouting out in the cinema `He's behind you!' or replying to the characters arguments with `Oh no you're not!' This guy with a torch then asked me to leave so I shouted `Oh no I won't!' and a dozen ushers grappled me to the floor.
In my dragon related film marking system, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon only gets 9 points, this is bearing in mind that both Reign of Fire got 17 points and Pete's Dragon got 18 points for having an accurate title.