CRASH : This Movie Sucks & Needs To Get Over Itself...

Rating: 1/10 (3 January 2006)

CRASH
Okay, I'm not trying to sound controversial and annoying... but this movie is b.a.d. I certainly won't call it the worst movie of the year, because a truly terrible film does not have redeeming qualities. CRASH has a few moments and aspects that manage to shine despite the overall terribleness of the package.
The Good News...
The Thandie Newton/Matt Dillon car crash scene (the 2nd) was very powerfully constructed and beautifully played by the two actors. This five minute period was the only moment of the film that I felt came together and worked.
Matt Dillon, Terrence Howard, Ryan Phillipe & Thandie Newton offer good performances (I personally wouldn't nominate them for any awards, but it doesn't irk me to see that some of them are getting recognition).
The Bad News...
Everything else is wrong. I went into this film knowing the debate between people on these boards... some people don't find it preachy... others do. So I though I'd go into it with an open mind.
2 minutes in, from the second they showed Jennifer Esposito (a f*****n' detective) making fun of the way the other woman pronounces brakes "blakes" I knew this film was preachy. And then it just got worse and worse and worse. Sandra Bullock yelling and insisting on changing the clocks. Ludicrous' endless rants, shut up. For the entire first half of this movie, every single person is angry and screaming at each other.
Now I know racism exists, and I don't think that not liking CRASH means I don't understand that. I've heard arguments from some critics literally casting off negative reviews of this film saying "you have no idea what racism is"... well you might be right, but that doesn't make this a good movie.
A movie is far more interesting if it takes a stereotype, and then examines it to make it something very independent... goes beyond the stereotype. This movie never bothers to do that... it tries to convey it's message by slamming stereotype after stereotype in your face. It doesn't take more than 10 minutes for it all to seem relentless.
If this movie were divided up into 8 different movies... and told each story with personal details and development... then I think you would have 8 films telling very unique, and honest stories about racism today. But they are all crammed in to the point where we never see the after-effects these terrible situations have on the victims. Instead, we merely see the incidents happening one after the other... Oh, but I'm sorry... they make it personal through that generic (just like on every F/X drama on the air today) slow-mo montage of the entire cast finding a happier place to some cool acoustic guitar music.
I can't believe this is has been so highly regarded in the Screenplay department. I think if you took that same screenplay, word for word, and didn't frame it with all the "important movie" clichés (i.e. slow mos, lots of swearing, money scenes, spiritual music... blah blah blah) this screenplay would obviously be seen as the melodramatic hack that it is.
Bullock, Cheadle, Fraser, Esposito, Ludicrous, Larenz Tate, and every other actor in this movie couldn't manage to muster good performances from such dreg. It must have been hard being expected to deliver such campy lines w/o campy portrayals.
Everything is balanced terribly in this movie. My feelings towards this film are hard to capture adequately in a review... so after some reflection I might reword this. But in the end, CRASH deserves no awards this season... at least not in my book.
... F ...