Empty

Rating: 3/10 (11 January 2016)

For all everyone talks about how remakes and sequels are ruining Hollywood, remakes and sequels are the only thing that kept 2005 from the absolute of the barrel. This is one of my least favorite years in all of film. A bloated and unnecessary King Kong remake is one of my favorite movies of the year. It's all pretty pathetic. I like to consider this year at best a rundown pit stop that people who are watching the Harry Potter, Star Wars, or Batman movies has to get gas in.
The crowning cherry on this disastrous sundae is the Oscars. Now, to their credit, because of their hatred of sequels and remakes, their pool of films this years was pretty small. There were not a lot of good Oscary movies. But come on, people. Crash? Crash?! It's not even a 2005 film. It's a 2004 film, and not even a Fall 2004 film. This was shown at TIFF in early September 2004.
But of course, that's not even getting into the film itself. This film angered me so much that I dropped my plans to finish the Lion King review I've been working on and reviewed this instead.
The premise isn't bad. It's about different people of different races in Los Angeles and how they react when their lives crash together. But a good premise does not a great film make. If it did, The Incredible would not be the only good Fantastic 4 movie we've ever gotten. I've seen films that tackle racial issues with nuance and complexity. This is not one of them.
I am not the only person who doesn't like this movie. Look up any list of Worst Best Picture Winners ever, and this movie will be right there near the top. But I don't think many people hate this movie. They find it boring, underwhelming, and pretentious, but they don't outright hate it. I do.
The only reason this film does not get an even lower score is because it is clear that some talented people worked on it. The acting is solid, and there are good shots. The chanting is a good idea, though it was overused tremendously. And there are some good ideas, though they are sloppily executed. That sideways compliment is the last good thing I'm going to say about the film.
The pacing is horrible. There's a flow, but there is no momentum. I honestly would be more interested in watching CNN for two hours straight. Some story lines could have, and should have, been written out in order to give others more time to develop. The first thing that comes to mind is Sandra Bullock's character. If she was gotten rid of, this film would lose nothing and gain a good deal of coherence and sense.
It sickens me when I read reviews calling this movie 'unflinching' or anything of the sort. I want to run over to all their offices, pick them up by their collars, and shout into their ears, "You're being played." This film is a glop of sentimentality disguised as a hard-hitting expose. This isn't racial tension as it really is. This is racial tension as it would be thought of by people who know nothing about it but a bunch of facts they read off the internet. This is like throwing a bunch of fridges off a rock wall and calling it a waterfall.
And I would be okay with all of that if the sentimentality felt in any way earned. There is more than one way to skin a cat, and there is more than one way to make a movie about racial tension. If you wanted to make a sappy movie, fine. There's nothing inherently wrong with that.
But there is something wrong with a movie that does not try in any way to make you connect with its characters. Sure, there's gestures and stories, but so what? CNN can give me that. If you want me to care what happens in your little story, make your characters jump out at me in a captivating way. I'd say the characters here are unlikable, but that would be giving them too much credit. Walter White is unlikeable, but he's one of the greatest characters in all of media. Vito Corleone is unlikable, but he's also one of the greatest characters in all of media. The characters are in this show are like a mishmash of every petty, presumptuous, faux-inspirational character you've ever seen. They're insufferable and so is this film. But don't worry; you won't have to mind it for too long.
Nothing in this movie holds any weight, and so you forget it very easily. After I finish this review, I'm probably never gonna think about it again. Even when I was halfway through the movie, I was struggling to recall what happened earlier because everything is so unremarkable.
If you're watching every Oscar winner, see it. Otherwise, run far away.