Too set-up, too contrived, too condescending, two stars

Rating: 2/10 (27 March 2006)

CRASH is the worst Best Picture winner ever. I rented it last night thinking I would "see the light" and understand why this won over the other nominees. But instead of just giving blanket statements I'm going to point out specifics: In the first five minutes I was hearing dialog that seemed straight out of "Gilmore Girls." Specifically, that was the dialog between the two men in the stolen SUV. It was so academically wooden. Especially when one is singing that country song and the other is giving a lecture on how hip hop is a white man conspiracy. It's too quick, too easy, too spoon fed.
Then there's Sandra Bullock's first tirade to her husband. It's so unrealistic as she blames the locksmith for being a gang member. For God sakes the guy is in the next room, if she was really afraid of him she would have kept her mouth shut.
And the scene with the husband and wife getting pulled over and groped is so contrived! At first, we think it's a man with a prostitute...nope...guess again..we fooled you...they're married and coming from an upscale award show. He's laughing, so he must be drunk...oops, no, got you again! We love fooling you! They are just happy, and he's a Buddhist so there's no way he could have had anything to drink. Fine. You fooled us again, writers.
Then the cops pull the husband out...if the couple just shuts up and plays it cool they'll get out of this fine...nope, the writers love fooling with you! Now the woman gets out and starts screaming at the policemen. Then she get fondled. And then she's mad at her husband because he doesn't beat up the guy. Then they get into a light skin/dark skin debate.
All of it is just so carefully set up and contrived. The writers must love messing with people. It was very manipulative and didn't hit home with me at all in regards to racial issues.